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Rob Ford: Crack is Wack

The other day I compared Rob Ford to Snookie (inebriated, tawny), the Polkaroo (absent) and the Penguin (evil).  Today I am at a loss.

If we are to believe the mayor’s statement at City Hall this afternoon, he has been libelled from  the start by that pinko rag, the Toronto Star.

“I do not use crack cocaine,” Ford told a throng of reporters. “Nor am I an addict of crack.”

He continued: “It is most unfortunate, very unfortunate, that my colleagues and the great people of this city have been exposed to the fact that I have been judged by the media without any evidence.”

Very unfortunate, indeed. Maybe we’ll never see the nefarious iPhone video that allegedly shows Rob Ford smoking crack cocaine and slandering Justin Trudeau.

Gawker editor John Cooke says he’s lost contact with the owner of the video. Perhaps it no longer exists.

Some questions out of the news conference: Why did Ford deny the allegations so defiantly after a week of deafening silence? Why did he look so pleased — almost giddy with righteous indignation? And why was he so very cheeky? (As my colleague reports, Ford bid reporters farewell with a hearty “toodle-oo!”)

With no video to purchase, perhaps Gawker will have to donate its crackstarter contributions to a worthier cause. It, like all media on this story, will have to start from scratch. No video, no flighty Ford–ducking everyone and everything– no story.

As my girlfriend Ella said after watching the press conference—echoing, I suspect, the “great people” of Toronto, “He’s boring now.”

But tomorrow is another day. Until then, toodle-oo.

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