Weather forecast: God hates Republicans

by Emma Teitel

Remember when Michele Bachmann said this….

“I don’t know how much God has to do to get the attention of the politicians. We’ve had an earthquake; we’ve had a hurricane. He said, ‘Are you going to start listening to me here?’”

And a crazy rabbi said this

“Yes, there is a direct connection between earthquakes and homosexuality. There was in Haiti, and it is here in New York, in Washington D.C…”

Well there’s a big storm brewing in Tampa Bay Florida—where thousands of Republicans will gather on August 27 for the Republican National Convention—and suddenly God has left the building.

It seems the GOP has lost touch with its roots and gone logical, issuing warnings, devising contingency plans, and attributing the imminent hurricane to something called “science”.

So please allow me to evoke the almighty in its place:

God hates Kid Rock, stupidity, fashion crimes, and animal cruelty more than gay marriage and Medicare. As such, he has decided to rain hard on the GOP parade.

Let’s just pray he does so before this unholy union takes the stage.

In other news, please join me next weekend where I will be blogging from the Democratic National Convention in Charlotte, North Carolina. Clear skies ahead.




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Weather forecast: God hates Republicans

  1. The religious nuts have taken over the Republican party, so it won’t matter what the hurricane does….hit or miss, I’m sure the wackos will think up some divine ‘messsge’ from it.

    Goldwater warned against these loons long time ago.

  2. According to socialists and social conservatives, God is angry because gays are marrying or society use too much gas but, either way, humanity is being punished for our naughty behaviour.

    What socialists and socons aren’t aware of is that God is benign libertarian who is all about grace, not punishment. If socialists and socons are going to fret about the gods they should be worried about Shiva, not God.

    Oh To,
    Oh To Be,
    Oh To Be A Gooner!

    • Got a direct line to the guy in the sky have you? Perhaps you could pass on a couple of questions i’d like him/her to answer. By the way i think he did a bit of smiting for the Israelites…must have had a bad grace day eh!

      Socialists think God is angry eh! Your insights never fail to amaze.

      • Heh…I’d like a source that shows God as some ‘benign libertarian!’

        I think this is the biggest problem in religion…..people don’t know the old testament from the new, and don’t know Jesus from God…..total confusion, and it shows in everything they do.

  3. This joke was already stale by the time you got to it.
    Thing is… the type of person who believes that hasn’t been hoisted on their own petard. To them this is just the logical consequence of rejecting red-blooded social conservatism for a squishy Mormon moderate from Massachusetts.

  4. I suspect you will hear far more praying at the Democratic convention than elsewhere. Please god stimulate the economy or we will all be collectively out on our a##es come January.

  5. Teitel – Does Macleans know that you are on the DNC payroll or does Macleans support you being on the DNC payroll?
    I am sure that we are going to get totally unbiased reporting from you in Charlotte.
    The “sunny skies” that you refer to will return in November when Dear Leader gets his A$$ handed to him and has to take sanctuary in Bill Ayer’s basement for all eternity
    To paraphrase Winston Churchill: tomorrow madam I will be sober but you will still be stupid.

  6. Looks to me that God may hate New Orleans. Just sayin’

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