Caption Challenge: Special Olympic Edition No. 2

Cue the theme from An Officer and a Gentlemen

Lindsey Vonn, poster girl of the 2010 Winter Games, has just crashed out of the Ladies’ Super Combined. Gamely, she walks the media cattle chute to answer the same questions over and over, though – to be fair to reporters – they are sometimes asked with hilarious accents. Finally, she reaches the wretches of the print media. She is weary. She looks around. Once and then again she meets the gaze of a humble Maclean’s columnist, a Canadian covering his first Olympics. Their eyes lock and…

Write a caption. Put it in the comments below. We’ll vote on the best ones tomorrow and the winner will receive an Olympic-themed prize valued in the ones of the dollars, direct from Vancouver.




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Caption Challenge: Special Olympic Edition No. 2

  1. What I really need is a hug from the Prime Minister of Canada.

  2. "Their eyes lock and…"

    Vonn says stop staring at my breasts, you pervert.

  3. "I can't take you seriously while you're doing that fake nose and glasses schtick. What did you say your name was?"

  4. Just how many beers did you drink this time?

    • Could someone please tell me where the ladies room is?

      • or Could someone please get Feschuck out of the ladies room?… it was a long wait at the top of the run.

  5. "Do you have Aaron Wherry's phone number?"

      • ahhhh, we now have a better understanding of what sort of comment coaxes the ultra-rare-Wherry-comment out of its normal state of reclusion! unfettered flattery which is not to be confused with unfettered Flaherty!

        • or unflattered Flaherty

  6. I guess I should've had a V8.

  7. "Don't I have a restraining order against you?"

  8. … and she grimly thinks,"I'm guessing you'd be the cherry on my sh*t sundae."

  9. She looks around. Once and then again she meets the gaze of a humble Maclean's columnist, a Canadian covering his first Olympics. Their eyes lock and…Scott says:

    "So, Lindsay, how ya feel?"

    • Had I asked a question, I would have asked her if she wanted some Tart n Tinies. I had some Tart n Tinies with me. Everyone likes Tart n Tinies.

      • 'Tart n Tinies" …lol

        I have no idea if you made that up. But if you didn't i'd bet my underwear you got some from an Aussie.

  10. Their eyes lock and……

    L:indsay says: "Come on back to my place. I feel the need for six beers too".

  11. …and it slowly dawns on her that the reporter isn't, in fact, wearing a pinkish furry parka.

  12. Their eyes lock and…[" Lindsey thinks]

    "Boy, I thought i look rough. That guy looks like he needs a beer or six."

  13. It took me years to realize women were lying to me about that.

  14. Are you sure you're supposed to be here? The special olympics aren't till next month.

  15. Do you realize how long it has been since I last peed?

  16. …her gaze descends slowly to his hand…"Do all you guys up here have small microphones?"

  17. If there was ever a look of "You poor, poor, man.. you don't even have a shot in your fantasies", that's it.

  18. "Their eyes lock and…"

    Vonn says you're the guy who did the skel on his face. You'll need years of plastic surgery before you can be my beer fetching lackey… and put some clothes on naked monkey.

  19. The morning after the sixpack experiment….

    Their eyes lock and…

    " Is that a toque…or is that guy really wearing his underwear on his head"?

  20. "I may have fallen, but at least I don't have Chris Pronger on my Olympic hockey team"

  21. "Their eyes lock and….." sigh, there's that drooling goof, is he stalking me?

  22. Any idea where I might find Ross Rebagliati? I could sure use a…break.

  23. Lindsey:

    "I'm sure that's the freak who was in the bushes, just about where i lost it."

  24. You said you knew where to get coke.

  25. Their eyes lock and she wonders, "How could one day have this many bad experiences?"

  26. She says
    "Is that? Yeah, that is an Olympic mitt you're wearing on your head."

  27. After watching this photographic vignette unfold I've reconsidered. In the first photo published Friday, she was definitely thinking "Marry Me", but now that she's had a closer look it's definitely "I really could eat a big plate of fries right about now"

  28. She thinks: Amuse me silly looking man or off with your head!

  29. Lindsey:

    "Ahhh…is that really your microphone "!

    [cell ph mix up, easy to do right?]

  30. Lindsey suddenly recalled Scott Feschuk's uncanny ability to always pick and cheer for the losing side in a football match. It was then that she realized Scott had been cheering for her the whole way down.

  31. and Vonn says:

    ah… you again… just how many times do I have to flush before you go away?

  32. and Vonn says:

    ah… you again… just how many times do I have to flush before you go away?

  33. (Shameless suck up_

    Oh Scott. It's been so long. The yearning never stops. How are you and Scarlett doing, anyway?

  34. My telepathic defenses are no match for your smouldering sexuality. Go ahead and read my thoughts, you inkstained Lothario.

  35. Why do you keep giggling when you look at my ski brand?

  36. Their eyes lock… and she says "I need a hug. Oh! Not you, that handsome guy behind you."

  37. "Please tell me this picture isn't going to end up on Caption Challenge this week."

  38. Their eyes lock… and she bursts out in hysterical laughter to the consternation of all around her,
    until they, too, turn to look at the lederhosen-clad man with the Brownie camera, crayons and scribbler.

  39. Vonn: "Are you interviewing me… or my chest? Stop poking my chest with that microphone!"

  40. Wanna pair of skis?

  41. Their eyes lock and…Vonn asks:

    "Is Andrew Coyne still looking for a figure skating partner?"

  42. Feschuk, Feschuck….

    I remember you. You're the guy that chugged 6 beers, upchucked all over me causing me to stumble and bruise my shin. I almost missed the Olympics because of you! Are you here to gloat? Are you, you bastard?

  43. There's no " Feschuk " in TEAM.

  44. Take a picture, it lasts longer.

  45. Before I answer your clever question Feschuk, can I ask why you're holding out your iPod?

  46. Their eyes lock and…"hold on are the cameras still on me?…….owwwww MY SHIN!! It hurts soooooo baaaaaaad!!!"

  47. "In your honour, coffee boy, I'm naming my second Olympic medal on the ladies combined: 'double-double' ".

  48. Lindsey to SF:

    "What d'yu mean, did i mean to do that…pillock"!

  49. Bluh. Dee. Hell.

  50. …like Jenn Heil before her, she wonders "What's with all the freakin' morons here in BC?"

  51. "Their eyes lock and….." sigh, there's that drooling goof, is he stalking me?

  52. are those stun guns?

  53. "You are hardly worth my pity, reporter of the frozen northern wastes, let alone my scorn."

  54. Their eyes lock and…Vonn asks:

    "So you're the @sshole wearing that undersized quatchi thong I was staring at when I fell!"

  55. Feschuk: "Lindsey, do you think you will catch up with the swimsuit competition?"

  56. I'd like to apologize *sniff* to everyone *sniff* I am in fact … Lindsay Lohan's lover.

  57. Darn clicker's not working again. Guess I'll have to change the channel by hand.

  58. As. If.

  59. "I agree with the Russian's".

  60. "Really, Maclean's? Really? What, was the little maple leaf from the logo too busy to make it?"

  61. "I fell, I lost, I feel like crap…NEXT!

  62. Tiger Woods is waiting for me, where?!

  63. Their eyes lock and she says "I can see that you are going to ask me what the Super G is. No, it's not a womens only event."

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