Dear Mike Babcock

Some helpful help for Canada’s hockey coach

by Scott Feschuk

Coach: I had a late lunch yesterday at a bar on Robson and overheard a few guys analyzing the performance of Canada’s men’s hockey team. I thought you’d appreciate hearing their input since they seemed pretty confident they had it all figured out. That’s why I took notes. I guess what I’m saying is: Give this a read and it’s pretty much “Good night, Germany.”

P.S. The language they used was a little saucy so I took the liberty of replacing the “f-word” with the names of various Osmonds.

Cast of characters: Guy in Detroit Red Wings cap (DRW); guy in Shea Weber Team Canada T-shirt (SW); guy in Just a Foul Mood (JFM).

•••

DRW: Here’s one thing I don’t Donny get. This Merrill business about chemistry.

JFM: Marie right.

DRW: You’re making $40 million Jimmy dollars a year or whatever, you should be able to step on the Merrill ice and say, “Hi, my Alan name is Sidney Donny Crosby, let’s go score some goals together.”

JFM: Marie right.

SW: One of those Jay guys came in here right now, I’d say it to their Alan, Merrill face.

JFM: Marie.

DRW: You’re playing in your own Jimmy backyard. I just don’t Wayne understand.

[Long pause. Some contemplative beer drinking.]

SW: What you gotta Merrill do is go into that Donny dressing room and kick some Alan ass. These guys are so Jay pampered.

JFM: Marie right.

SW: Get in there and tear a Donny strip off ’em!

DRW: Motivate ’em.

JFM: True. Marie true.

[Another pause.]

DRW: Donny Brodeur.




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Dear Mike Babcock

  1. If I used that many Donny and Maries, my comment would be withdrawn by the administrator.

    Just sayin …

  2. Donny hilarious, Scott.

    And very sage advice to "boot"

  3. "DRW: Here's one thing I don't Donny get. This Merrill business about chemistry."

    Team chemistry interests me. I follow european football and they have system where players compete for their team and country regularly and chemistry gets discussed a lot by reporters and other football experts. Elite players who make it to olympics mostly have same level of skill as one another so intangibles take on big importance. Chemistry matters and it's wildly difficult to create.

  4. I'm a little disheartened that you used the American Osmonds instead of those giants of Canadian musical families: the DeFrancos

    [youtube gggcZvvZLeo http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gggcZvvZLeo youtube]

    Come to think of it, Babcock should threaten to air this clip in the dressing room should Canada lose another game – do that, and the gold medal is in the bank

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