The PM, Trudeau and the hidden agenda: Aiiiieeeeeee, right?

All in all, it hasn’t been a great summer for the Conservative attack machine

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The threat is real, the Prime Minister was saying ominously. The plot is well under way. Canadians may soon wake up to a terrifying reality—a reality in which Stephen Harper is no longer PM and, uh, well, that’s about it, actually. That’s the only big change. Still: aiiiieeeeeee, right?

For years, Harper was on the receiving end of allegations about a “hidden agenda.” Now he’s the one weaving the conspiracy. The PM spent a good chunk of his public appearances this summer alleging that “liberal elites” are engaging in a Stonecutter-style shadow campaign to impose Justin Trudeau on an unsuspecting federation.

“You can see what the plan is,” Harper told a partisan crowd in Whitehorse. “Tell everybody that there’s something new and exciting coming along. What is it? Well, it’s new and exciting. Well, how is it new? It’s exciting. Well, how is it exciting? It’s new. What does it mean? Well, it can mean whatever you want it to mean!”

While I for one am thrilled that Stephen Harper has apparently retained Dr. Seuss as a speechwriter, I’m not convinced this is the forceful argument the PM thinks it is. Pretty much our entire economy is fuelled these days by our purchase of things we perceive to be exciting simply because they’re new. A quick name change to iJustin and the Liberals have got the 2015 election won.

Still, the media seem to like what they’ve heard. Columnists claim to have detected renewed verve in the PM’s delivery. One outlet reported that “a close analysis of Harper’s political and policy agenda reveals that the Conservative leader is confident of his chances next year.” Wow, that’s quite a scoop. Most of us assumed that Harper would go straight to showing Trudeau how to work the TV remote at 24 Sussex.

On the flipside, a columnist in the Toronto Star recently tried to pinpoint when the PM lost the country. “It was when people started to think of his hair as a separate organ, like Dick Cheney’s heart, which he basically kept in a pocket, a living pulsing thing that would halve, leap on you and clap both sides of your head if you poked it.” This argument, in addition to being insane, is also factually dubious: Few among us would risk voting against a sentient killer hairdo.

All in all, it hasn’t been a great summer for the Conservative attack machine. First, the public safety minister issued a statement assailing Trudeau for long ago visiting a Montreal mosque “that allegedly radicalizes Canadians to join al-Qaeda and engage in acts of unspeakable violent extremism.” It took about three seconds for most Canadians to have the same thought: Um, if that mosque is actually doing that, why isn’t it a concern of a certain public safety minister? The Conservatives responded with another statement: awkward silence.

Elsewhere, Harper’s MPs tried to convince constituents Trudeau will not rest until every Canadian toddler is forced to smoke a fattie before naptime. A flyer claimed the Liberals want to make buying marijuana “a normal, everyday activity for young Canadians.” Because obviously it would be stocked between the Coffee Crisps and the Dentyne. Hey mister, can I shovel your driveway for weed money??

When not drafting the screenplay for Reefer Madness II: Justin’s Joints, Harper was responding to a seemingly endless array of grim international incidents. He spoke out against terrorism, voiced support for Israel and insisted that Canada will not “stand idly by” while Vladimir Putin threatens Ukraine. (To be clear, Canada will not actually help Ukraine, either. We will stand by—but doggone it, we shall not do so idly. Perhaps we will wag a finger in a chiding manner, or possibly hum.)

The Conservatives—trailing by double digits in the polls—continue to hope Trudeau will commit a number of gaffes under the pressure of his first national campaign. Certainly he has exhibited a way with the verbal boner.

But perhaps Trudeau is learning the value of sticking at times to political boilerplate. This fall, the Liberal leader will publish an autobiography that he has chosen to call Common Ground: My Past, Our Present and Canada’s Future. The only safer choice would have been Generic Political Book Title: Various Meaningless Words After the Colon.

Meanwhile, for those of you scoring at home, the NDP’s Thomas Mulcair also continued to exist during the summer. You couldn’t tell it from media coverage, but it’s probably true.




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The PM, Trudeau and the hidden agenda: Aiiiieeeeeee, right?

  1. The cons think because the budget will be balanced 2015, it will help them to victor into the next election, well I think they should have a chat with Paul Martin. Martin had a 13 billion dollar surplus, but he suffered the same fate as Harper will in 2015, the Canadian public will turn on him too, with all the scandals that surround Harper, he will wear the scares in the next election, that’s all the opposition parties need to do is, remind Canadians where the scares are. Canadians voters have a choice in the next election, fillet mignon steak(Trudeau), or corn beef hash in a tin(Harper)left over a few days.

    • I have NO doub’t, Trudeau/Liberals will be in the Federal driver’s seat, with a Majority.

      But, what I’m really worried about is that the Harp/Con’s will NOT be able to fix this horrible mess that they’re leaving us in, zero jobs, zero manufacturing, …., as it is now.
      Look at the enormous debt we’re in, which we shouldn’t even be near this, from all the taxes they’ve been pulling in, all these years.
      Martin performed miracles creating that huge surplus, which Harper and the CON’s have long since “wasted”.
      I’m more worried Harper will pull a “G.W. Bush”, and leave the country in a total mess, (as it is now), so that way just like Obama has been “blamed” for not fixing Bush’s economic catastophes, so too will they try to point to JT/Liberals…. for not performing instant miracles.

      …just watch n’ see.

  2. Great article, had me laughing pretty good. I knew Harper lost his way when hen angered the nerds (read scientists). You don’t want to anger the calculating, analyzing, plotting and planning set; they will find your weakness and destroy!

    Looking forward to sane changes next year!

  3. “A flyer claimed the Liberals want to make buying marijuana “a normal, everyday activity for young Canadians.”

    As a good Liberal i am somewhat reluctant to point out the obvious flaw in this approach. But then again Harper and his attack dogs never take advise anyway. If you don’t want to appear like an avid follower of the Palin school of politics[ never a big draw in sane old Canada] don’t say JT wants to turn kids into addicts, just say his policy risks that happening.
    There is no danger this advise will make it past the minders on Harper’s door, who know the dangers too well of approaching the throne with anything that might possibly be interpreted as Trudeau friendly. The last time someone suggested such a thing they wound up with a hundred lines…why i must not ever compromise my Conservative principles by saying anything nice about F***ing Justin F***ing Trudeau…. On pain of excommunication.

  4. Then the Liberals will come to power, bring back a new era of left-wing corruption.

    Then we’ll Vite them out and bring in a new era of right-wing corruption.

    Then we’ll vote THEM out and bring in yet ANOTHER era of left-wing corruption….

    What was it again that Einstein said? Oh yes, I remember now; “the definition of insanity is doing the same things over again.”

    • There will always be some corruption no matter what party is in there.

      No country in the world is free of it.

    • So…we shouldn’t vote them in or out then? Einstein didn’t say anything about giving up voting did he?

      • It’s a sad state of affairs when we have a “good enough” attitude towards those who allegedly lead our country. The voting process is not the problem. It’s the people we’re voting for that are the problem. Whoever has the biggest bank account gets the top jobs. If you want to play merry-go-round and elect another idiot whom we know will mess things up in his own image, then be my guest.

  5. Don’t be hasty, people. If you jettison Stephen Harper you’ll lose the knowledge and foresight of a Trained Economist of a Prime Minister, and be bereft of his ability to singlehandedly set the country down the right economic road ever since the depth of the recession that he predicted we would never have. Our national economy is a complicated Rube Goldberg device, and without Stephen Harper at the centre of it we’ll all be out in the street eating each other for sustenance, and there will be a joint in every crib.

    • I have read recently in psychology publications that economists do not see people as human beings. Instead, most economists see people as commodities (like everything else) that are to be bought, used up and sold. This is EXACTLY how Harper treats Canadians, so why would anyone regret losing this loathsome government!

      An example of this prime minister’s treatment of Canadians can be found at The Council of Canadians site, “The CETA Deception” -

      Excerpt – “Unfortunately, where there was once a cavernous lack of information about CETA, there is now an abundance of misinformation. In its propaganda campaign, the Harper government is purposely confusing what critics have been saying about CETA, and is resorting to complete falsehoods in some cases. One especially ridiculous claim is that CETA has been one of the most “transparent trade negotiations in Canadian history.” Meanwhile the text for the agreement is off limits to the public – Canadians will have no say in what the deal looks like before it is signed.”

      Stay tuned…

  6. “This fall, the Liberal leader will publish an autobiography…”

    Why, oh why, do they insist on letting him speak to the public? This will be worth ten points to the Conservatives in the polls. It’s either mildly interesting, and they give the PM attack fodder; or it’s the least interesting autobio ever, and they give the PM attack fodder.

  7. “All in all, it hasn’t been a great summer for the Conservative attack machine”

    According to the media party and the left wing nutZ.

    There is only one poll that counts, Turdeau 2 and the Lie3berals will still be “da turd pardi” in October of 2015.

  8. “…the verbal boner.”
    ha ha ha, haven’t heard that phrase in awhile.

  9. During the pre-Harper era, Paul Martin used EI interest earnings to help pay down the federal debt. During 2007, media extensively covered Harper’s criticism of Martin’s Liberals because he felt the EI fund was too high at just over $50 BILLION. Harper promised to set up an independent Crown Corporation to “fix it.”

    During 2008, the EI surplus reached $57 BILLION. Harper transferred $2 BILLION to his new Crown Corporation, and transferred the remaining $55 BILLION to general revenues. According to taxpayer.com, we know that Harper’s Cons acknowledge increasing our national debt by nearly $180 BILLION; however, with the hidden EI amount of $55 BILLION, Harper has actually increased our national debt by $235 BILLION (plus or minus the “lost” $3.1 BILLION).

    When the total of known and hidden debts are considered, we have to recognize that Canada simply cannot afford the Harper government anymore.

    • What utter BS, only in the mind of a leftwingnut.

      So what’s it like in unicorn land?

      • You’re right, Boob.
        I think it was actually 57 billion that Harper transferred to general revenues and blew, which would make it 237 billion borrowed and blown by Harper.

        • You’re just a unicorn fart in the wind Lenny.

          • Was there another error you had in mind, Bob?

  10. Trudeau’s “hidden agenda” is one of open disclosure, trustworthiness and honour, something Harper fooled us into believing he would deliver and then did not.

    Harper is right now very secretly arranging a “CETA” agreement with the European Union. Included are provisions that allow foreign companies to sue if we stand in the way of their profit. I can give an example of the consequences of this fool-hardy agreement. I live in a municipality that has banned pesticides and herbicides. Under CETA, Monsanto can estimate “lost” sales of Roundup and seek compensation. In the alternative, Monsanto can pursue our environmental laws to have them struck. Decisions will not be made by Courts in our country; instead, decisions are made outside of Canada by others without regard to our laws and Constitution.

    Harper does not have the authority under our Constitution to allow companies to override our laws so that they can pad their annual shareholder dividend distributions, but he is taking it upon himself to secretly negotiate “trade deals.” (“CETA Myth Busting Guide” and “The CETA Deception”).

    In addition, at Harper’s Parliament of Canada information site we are told CETA will “relax” immigration and foreign worker laws so CETA is exposed as Harper’s newest foreign worker program – with fewer restrictions.

    Harper Cons have done enough damage to this country already. It is well past the time for them stop.

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