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Mike Duffy has learned something while sitting in the Senate


 

Decades as a journalist and decades more as a sentient Canadian apparently did nothing to prepare Mike Duffy for the shocking revelation that awaited him upon being appointed to the upper chamber. As the Senator himself put it while traveling in Kelowna: “Once you get in there, you realize that every piece of legislation passed by Parliament has to go through the Senate prior to adoption.”

Sweet bearded Jesus! Do the Fathers of Confederation know about this?? Someone alert the ghost of Adams Archibald!

Wait – there’s yet more that the intrepid Duffy has uncovered: “And the Senate rules are different than the House of Commons. Senate committees can’t sit while the Senate is in session, so that puts you in the situation of having some pretty long days.”

Holy nutballs! Next thing you know we’ll be finding out that, like the House of Commons, the Senate has its very own Speaker, Question Period and pervading sense of futility.

But Duffy’s trip out west was about more than revealing startling Parliamentary details previously known only to every child over the age of 12. He also talked a lot about wood. In fact, the front page of today’s edition of The Daily News in Kamloops features the headline Use More Wood, Senator Urges – which is either a direct appeal by Mike Duffy to Canada’s construction industry or Viagra’s least effective slogan-spokesman combination ever.

In the article, Duffy blows the lid off another state secret when he astutely observes, “We’re surrounded by wood in Canada.”  With time to reflect, I’m sure he’d agree this wasn’t the nicest way to refer to his new colleagues in the Senate.

One final note from the Senator’s journey of discovery: Some of you may remember all the way back to last week, when Duffy was going on about how he never really wanted to be a Senator but then, oh well, fine, twist my arm… and then how he was totally determined to sit as an independent because he wasn’t the least bit partisan but then, oh well, fine, if you reeeeeeeally want me to be a Conservative…

Read the following quote from Mike Duffy and see if you can spot the part where he comes across as a non-partisan, independent-minded member of the upper chamber.

“I’m not holding my breath on an early election,” he said. “We have to be ready, however, just in case. That’s why we need your continued financial support and your help with the ground game. We’ve got to become born-again Canadians, I think, and explain to our kids, our families and our neighbours why the Conservatives are the party they can count on to work for them and for their values.”

Born-again Canadians? Um, okay. Makes sense, I guess. To paraphrase Jesus, only those who are born again shall be able to see the glory of government infrastructure projects and festival funding in their ridings.


 
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Mike Duffy has learned something while sitting in the Senate

  1. What I find amazing is that the guy is apparently incapable of just taking his bribe and, in the best traditions of the Senate, either going to sleep or assuming the dignity and public spirit of a true Senator. I hope he opts for one or the other soon: the last thing we need is 12 years of such antics, though it would keep Mr. Feschuk in good form.

  2. What I find amazing is that the guy is apparently incapable of just taking his bribe and, in the best traditions of the Senate, either going to sleep or assuming the dignity and public spirit of a true Senator. I hope he opts for one or the other soon: the last thing we need is 12 years of such antics, though it would keep Mr. Feschuk in good form.

    • Maybe he's doing what he was asked to. It's easier to sell changes to the Senate if it becomes indistinguishable from the House, and ceases to be a chamber of sober/comatose second thought.

      • exactly….turn the bloody place into a three ring circus! bring on the Duffy as a stand in for one of the dancing bears!

    • I have always suspected that Mr. Duffy went on Mr. Feschuk's payroll as soon as he was appointed to the Senate. You don't get goodies like this for free.

  3. Funny Feschuk—–I especially enjoyed the bit about the appeal for more wood though I`m having trouble getting that ghastly image of Duffy surrounded by old wood in the Senate out of my mind.

    I understand the great effort being put forth to portray Duffy as the ultimate patronage hack. The image of the Senate and other gov`t appointments has been that they were usually full of old Liberals receiving their final payoff for years of service to the party. So in an effort to equalize things Liberal journalists and commenters try to show Duffy as the counterbalance (the weight helps) to all those Liberal appointments still operating. The effort may work on the converted but the number of old Liberals still at the trough is still too great for it to work with the public.

    • re. "the great effort being put forth to portray Duffy as the ultimate partronage hack"

      isn't it Duffy who is doing the "effort" (such as it is)?

      A look at Google News shows that all he seems to do these days is partisan fundraising and partisan shots.

      • Duffy is drawing the same salary as the 57 appointed Liberal Senators, any one of which should feel free to speak on subjects like the forest industry—–rumour has it that Sharon Carstairs is doing a fund-raising tour this summer—tickets go on sale soon.

        • uh, so that's your answer?

          Nice. Make's no sense whatsover though.

        • what a slap in the face to Manitobans; comparing Duffy to Carstairs.

  4. Holy Crap! We sure do have a lot of water in this country! Who knew?

  5. I have it on good authority that there is also quite a lot of rock.
    Thank you, Senator Duffy!

    • And lots of Canadian geese and ducks unless the government can get away with serving them to the homeless! Maybe Duffy can take a reconnaissance tour on the state of daffy et al.

    • next thing duffy's going to tell us how much pork there is in the senate. with his arrival, about 350 lbs more…

  6. I don't know if it is Viagara's worst pitch yet. In this era of declining tourism (thanks to swine flu, passport requirements, etc) it is possible they have teamed up with the Canadian Tourism Commission to launch a new international campaign. "Come to Canada – its surround by wood"

  7. Duffy is an embarrassment

  8. "We're surrounded by wood in Canada.” With time to reflect, I'm sure he'd agree this wasn't the nicest way to refer to his new colleagues in the Senate."

    Wouldn't that be deadwood ?

  9. Wow! did you also know that the leaves actually fall off the trees in the fall? Boy Mike, I learn a lot from you! Almost makes me want to hand in my Red Liberal card for a blue one.. oh what other wise information can you bestow upon us o great one

  10. What a simpleton.

    He's an embarrassment to himself and the country.

  11. I'll repeat what I said earlier. Everyone who watched Duffy knew he was a joke. Yet, CTV gave him his own show, 5 days a week (2 hours a day including the repeat broadcast), and politicians (including the Iggster) came on his show and kissed his fat Polievre openly and repeatedly.

    Only difference is now he's doing it at taxpayers' expense.

    I'll give Pamela Wallin credit though. She has so far refused to be the Femme Duffy, which was probably the job Harper had in mind for her when he appointed her to the Senate.

  12. Just think of the new tourism slogan, "Wood in Canada-found in the trees", All those city folk will be amazed an take an immediate road trip into the hinterland becoming tourists in their own land. U.S visitors will bring their chain saws.
    The definitive solution to Canada's tourism meltdown.

  13. Mike Duffy is slow as heck and a slight idiot.
    I'm not even 20 and I knew all of that.
    Gosh.

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