Second Olympic mailbag anyone?

Anyone?

by Scott Feschuk

Submit your Olympics-themed queries below. And remember – there is no such thing as a stupid question, unless you’re asking whether Galen Weston should just keep on airing those ads where he crows about how his President’s Choice frozen salmon is going to help Canada’s skiers kick some international ass.




Browse

Second Olympic mailbag anyone?

  1. Which sport has the prettiest women participating in it?

    I am almost 40 and tend to think curling has the best looking women but you are on the ground, so to speak, so I thought you could tell us your thoughts. I also had idea that you could do your six beer test on which sport has hottest females but that's up to you.

  2. What would Brian Boitano do?

  3. When is the VANOC post-games surplus auction? I'd like a chance to own the podium.

    • LOL! Amazing.

  4. Can VANOC raise any money against the harsh criticism they've received? It's their chance to pawn the odium.

    • I never understood that saying anyway – it's not like you get to keep the podium, do you? Shouldn't it be 'Lease the Podium'?

  5. Have you visited the Manitoba pavilion yet? We have free stuff, a promotional slide show given by Jeff Goldblum's Aboriginal doppelganger, and indulgent smiles for everyone who thinks that's the first time we've heard that joke they just made about the Winnipeg Jets. And we could use the company.

    • I hear once you get past the Ontario pavillion, it's pretty flat until the edge of Alberta.

    • Is that the one inside Live City? Do something about the line for beer and we'll talk. When I was there (briefly) before the Canada-U.S. game, the queue for beer was an hour long. And they didn't even let me go to the front of the line when I explained I was thirsty.

  6. Are there double entendres in curling lingo with all those ladies yelling, "Hurry! Hurry hard!" Is this our chance to pun the idiom?

  7. Do Maclean's columnists get expense money at the Olympics? Or do they have to earn the per diem?

  8. Has anyone in Vancouver even noticed that Parliament has prorogued?

    • No, but you may want to ask those on the steps of the Art Gallery. They always seem fired up about something.

    • We have noticed that there are a lot more federal MPs hanging about here lately.

  9. Why don't you have a show like The Colbert Report yet? I think you would be the ideal candidate to respond to Colbert's unabashed patriotism.

  10. Not taking into account the opening ceremonies, is there enough French (the language, not the people) at these Olympic Games?

  11. I heard that Lindsey Vonn tweeted about you today. What did she say again?

  12. How many Americans does it take to trip three Canadian hockey players?

  13. Given the newfound populartiy of "cross" sports, when do you expect we'll see the Skeleton Cross, and will you be participating?

  14. Have you noticed that througout the Olympics, the pm no longer has a voice in his head? It's bad enough he has no conscience, but no thoughts pinging in there at all — not even malevolent ones?

    • It's because all his malevolence is being channeled through an incompetent underling. He's "Van Loaning the Odium".

      • These are getting so bad I'll have to reach for the Imodium.

        • Down the Imodium?

          • Own th'imodium…

  15. If a Sasquatch was discovered skating directly on the BC/Washington State border by a Russian figure skating coach, which country would he be allowed to skate for under IOC's rules?

    • Or, if Sasquatch was discovered directly on the BC/Washington State border…which would fell him: a bullet from the American side, or a good, safe taser from the Canadian side?

    • Norway

  16. I dig the skeleton a whole lot… But I still can't wrap myself around a certain something!

    Usain Bolt has lankier but strong legs, enabling him to take far bigger strides than the rest, Al MacInis's offensive success was largely due to a heckuva slap shot (and unique technique at slap shot), and, I suppose, Virtue and Moir have synchronicity and agility a cut above the rest but…

    What exactly does the elite (Montgomery, Dukers, et al.) do (technically) to be consistently better than the group behind them (that they would consistently finish a quarter of a second faster than the rest)? I've looked at recent World Cup results and, for the most part, (like most sports) the usual suspects come out on top more often than not.

    i suppose the ability to run at the start to get things going is a specific aspect one can excel at but, there's still the rest of the run to do!

    • It's like Nascar: It's all about the steering. Seriously, watch the toes and hands going down the slope.

      • But it's not like Nascar…

        Nascar is part car, part driver. The drivers with the (consistently) finest tuned cars have an edge. It is more marked in F1 in that there is quite a spread in engines (and, a factor in bobsled). As for the driver, the better drivers have an (improved) ability in reading the track and the events on it (passing situations/opportunities, good draft positions, etc…). Like a good slap shot or, synchronicity, the skills could be worked on and improved in time…

        As far as I see in skeleton, there are two potential ''skills''…

        Like you said, the toes. There appears to be slight toe scratching that might help. And the other, not the hands (as they are tucked near, and almost under the waist), there is slight shoulder nudges.

        In a roundabout way, it brings me to my (silly) question… Is the answer simply Montgomery, Dukers Brothers, are just better at nudging and toe scratching? It can't be that simple!

        (I concede part of it is simply reading a good line – down curves and such)

  17. Luge. Why?

  18. Men's skating outfits. Why?

    • Because the alternative is men skating without outfits, and the shrinkage problem would thus guarantee no male participants in the sport.

  19. Is crashing out of the medals to avoid a prime minister’s embrace considered choking or panicking?

    • Prudence

  20. Dear Scott,

    My questions are frickin' hilarious set up to receive an equally hilarious response. But you always ignore my questions. I suspect it is because my questions do not set up you to insult Coyne, but aside from that, I would like to know what is the criteria you use to decide on which questions get answered?

  21. Mine's not really Olympic related but last week the National Post wrote an editorial that suggested a national child care plan would send single women's biological clocks into overdrive bascially forcing them to have children once they recognized the new economic bennefits of being a single parent in an affordable day care world.

    This got me thinking about the fact that my neighbour is pretty hot and happens to be single. Would a national child care plan really increase my chances of 'hooking up' with her, or was the Post just pulling my leg?

    • What exactly do you mean, pulling your leg? Never mind, that was pathetic.

  22. Now that Russian ice dancer Evgeni Plushenko has given himself a 'platinum ' medal (to compensate for the silver he won instead of the gold he was apparently entitled to) do you expect VANOC to introduce other new medal categories for similarly disgruntled athletes? (Perhaps pewter or lead for fourth place?)

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *