5

         

Subscriber Services:

Customer Service|

Subscribe|

Renew|

Digital Edition|

Back Issues|

Gifts|

2008 University Guide

RSS

 
 

Is that the Prostitootin' Choo-Choo?

How long before someone comes forward claiming a four-way gubernatorial romp?

MARK STEYN | March 19, 2008 |

The governor of New York gave an interview this week. Not the governor of New York who resigned over the five-grand-an-hour hooker he had waiting for him in room 871 of the Mayflower in Washington. That was last week's governor of New York — "Client #9," Mister Sleaze, Mister I-transport-women-across-state-lines-for-immoral-purposes, Mister If-I-pay-extra-can-we-do-something-"unsafe"?

No, this was this week's governor of New York — Mister New Broom, sweeping clean. So a few hours after being sworn in on Monday, the new gubernatorial broom gives an interview to New York's Daily News, headlined as follows:

"Gov. Paterson Admits To Sex With Other Woman For Years."

Very shrewd politically. What could be savvier than coming in the way the other fellow went out? David Paterson may be the first black governor of New York and also the first blind governor of New York, but it's good to know, midst all this shattering of the glass ceiling, that it's only to get to the hot-sheet penthouse. As the newspaper reported, "The thunderous applause was still ringing in his ears when the state's new governor, David Paterson, told the Daily News that he and his wife had extramarital affairs." For two or three years, he used to travel down from the state legislature at Albany to meet up with his mistress at the Days Inn on 94th Street in Manhattan. But, as a subsequent story reported after a couple of expense claims for the relevant hostelry turned up, "I Never Used State Cash To Pay For Liaisons." And, even if he did, booking the Days Inn is a lot more fiscally responsible than putting up at the Mayflower. Also, he didn't break the Mann Act because he kept the mistress in state rather than, as his predecessor did, buying a train ticket to ship "Kristen" from Penn Station in New York to Union Station in Washington. Like the song says:

Continued Below

Pardon me, girl, is that the Prostitootin' Choo-Choo?

Client Number Nine?

Gimme the check and I'll sign . . .

You leave the Pennsylvania Station 'bout a quarter to four

Read a magazine while you're awaiting your whore

Dinner date with Kristen

Gee, my eyes are mistin'

Pity 'bout the extras, but I'm still persistin' . . .

When last week's Empire State gubernatorial scandal broke — that's the Eliot Spitzer sex story, not the David Paterson sex story — the press noted the ritual presence of the sad wife dutifully standing by her no-good husband. Mrs. Spitzer being unavailable for interview, the media sought a comment from the previous first lady to find herself the victim of gubernatorial infidelity — Dina McGreevey from across the Hudson in New Jersey. In her harrowing confessional memoir, Mrs. McGreevey revealed how stunned she was when her husband James told her it was time for her to get out the old sober suit and sorrowful expression because the limo was waiting to take them to the press conference — oh, and by the way, it wasn't with a girl, it was with a boy, New Jersey's "homeland security" adviser. When it comes to homeland security in the Garden State, they take off a lot more than their shoes and coats. "My truth is that I am a gay American," announced Governor McGreevey.

Anyway, last week the former first lady of New Jersey gave a couple of interviews saying how she felt the former first lady of New York's pain. That, in turn, brought former gubernatorial aide Theodore Pedersen out of the woodwork. "I wanted to get this out now because it was so offensive to me that she goes on television playing the victim," Mr. Pedersen told the Newark Star-Ledger. "She should have told the truth about the three of us."

Er, hang on: the "three of us"? Why, yes. Mr. Pedersen revealed that he had "three-way sexual trysts" with Governor and Mrs. McGreevey — and the good news is you don't even have to book a room at the Days Inn. Instead, the "weekly romps" "typically began with dinner at T.G.I. Friday's and ended with a threesome at McGreevey's condo in Woodbridge." Dinner at T.G.I Friday's? What's that? Twelve bucks? Try proposing that to "Kristen."

How long before someone comes forward claiming to have had a four-way "romp" with Governor Spitzer, Governor McGreevey and Mrs. McGreevey somewhere in the, ah, bi-state area, preferably in a gubernatorial limo stuck in gridlock under the Holland Tunnel? Actually, it's technically known as the tristate area, but the governor of Connecticut seems to be sitting this one out and letting N.Y. and N.J. do all the heavy lifting.


Print Article    Send to a Friend    Write a letter to the editor

  Digg this StumbleUpon Stumble It!
  Post to del.icio.us Seed Newsvine
  Share on Facebook See who is linking to this article at Technorati Technorati links

Story from Macleans.ca:

© Rogers Publishing

NAME:
ADDRESS:
 
CITY:
PROVINCE:
POSTAL CODE: (Please omit spaces)
EMAIL:
 








.
Find a Job
Keywords:
Location:





Find out what matters to Canadians each week with Maclean's Storyline e-mail service.

Email Address:


    HOME  |  CANADA  |  WORLD  |  BUSINESS  |   SCIENCE  |  CULTURE  |  EDUCATION  |  BLOGS  |   MULTIMEDIA  |  MACLEAN'S 50  |  COLUMNISTS  |  FORUMS                        Rogers Publishing Limited
ROGERS ProfitGuide.com MoneySense.ca CANADIAN BUSINESS.com
    ADVERTISE | SUBSCRIBE | ABOUT US | PRIVACY POLICY | TERMS OF SERVICE
    IN-CLASS PROGRAMS | INTERNSHIPS | CONTACT

Maclean's is Canada's only national weekly current affairs magazine. Maclean's enlightens, engages and entertains 2.8 million readers with strong investigative reporting and exclusive stories from leading journalists in the fields of international affairs, social issues, national politics, business and culture.