ELIZABETH MAY CAN NOW DRIVE TO THE DRIVE-IN
Green Party Leader Elizabeth May just bought a new car -- a Prius hybrid. Though she requested a green Prius, she is willing to take whatever colour is available at the earliest time. It's the first car May's purchased in 30 years.(She asked the salesman if the tires came with the vehicle.)May needs the car to get around Central Nova, the riding she is hoping to steal from Foreign Affairs Minister Peter MacKay. Her new wheels come with an unexpected bonus: May is now living in New Glasgow, N.S., where there are only two places in town to see films -- a big movie complex and a drive-in.

Besides looking for a car, May has been searching for a Green candidate to run in Jack Layton's Toronto-Danforth riding. May had been keeping the riding vacant in the hope Layton would finally return her calls. The Green leader was eager for a deal like the one she made with Stéphane Dion. The Opposition leader agreed not to run a Liberal candidate in Central Nova in exchange for the Greens not running a candidate against him in St-Laurent-Cartierville.(Funny how when May's predecessor Jim Harris was at the helm of the Green party, he himself ran in Layton's riding.)A deal with Layton would have boosted the momentum May is feeling after all the negative reaction to MacKay's support of the budget. May has criticized the Conservatives for not honouring the Atlantic Accord, which is ironic according to former NDP strategist Jamey Heath because the accord would see oil and gas expansion off the East Coast. "The Kyoto Protocol says we need to burn less oil and gas," says Heath. "Why would you want to expand it?" May says she likes governments to live up to their contractual agreements.

THE HOTTEST JOB IN OTTAWA
Ceremonial guards have recently been assigned to the National War Memorial and Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, part of an enhanced security package stemming from last year's high-profile incident when Quebecer Stephen Fernandes and two other young men were photographed urinating there. Guards serve in pairs for one-hour shifts starting at 9 a.m. and ending, like so many government jobs in the capital, precisely at 5 p.m. The first two guards to stand on duty at the memorial served in Afghanistan. Tourists have been busy snapping photos with the guards, some striking such goofy poses as pretending they are on a fashion catwalk. More than a few women have put their arms around the guards in a very cuddly way.(Plainclothes officers are there, ready to pounce if any incidents occur.)The guards don't move or speak, and they wear traditional scarlet wool jackets and bearskin hats. While they have a rest area close by for before and after their shifts, there is currently no shelter for them to stand under in the event of rain or scorching sun. A dull grey carpet has been added to the memorial because the guards have metal taps on their footwear that could scratch the stone on what is considered "sacred ground."

WHAT EXACTLY IS A KITCHEN FOR?
Ontario MP Brent St. Denis's executive assistant Matt Jacques and Belinda Stronach's aide Greg MacEachern invited fellow Liberals staffers to start a new tradition by gathering every Monday morning at the cafeteria in the West Block(the only Hill eatery open regular hours during the summer). Included in the email invite was a poster from the 1985 film The Breakfast Club with an explanation for young staffers that The Breakfast Club was in fact a movie from the'80s and that "yes, we had movies then." Some staffers were not even born when the movie came out. Twenty or so Liberal staffers came out for the first breakfast. Hot topics included where to find an Ikea Start-Box for the kitchen.(The Ottawa Ikea had apparently run out.)Kitchen talk is weird for MP staffers, who rarely use that part of their resi dence. When MacEachern moved into his current flat in 2004, it took a year for him to discover his stove didn't work.

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