Amy Chua on high-stakes parenting

The author on the evils of sleepovers, the benefits of practising and how discipline builds self-esteem

Photographs by Steve Simon

Amy Chua is a professor of law at Yale University and the author of two acclaimed books about globalization and free-market democracy. Her new memoir, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, recounts raising her two daughters, now 15 and 18, using what she calls “Chinese parenting” methods.

Q: So, are you ready to be pilloried as the ultimate tough-love mum who threatened to burn your daughter’s stuffed animals if she didn’t perform piano practice perfectly?
A: I’m not sure. I did not write this book as a parenting book; and it’s not about promoting the Chinese parenting model, although some people will take it that way. I was raised by extremely strict, extremely loving Chinese immigrant parents whom I adore and feel I owe everything to them. By instilling a work ethic and self-discipline my parents allowed me to have choices as an adult and be who I wanted to be. I tried to raise my daughters the same way. With my first, Sophia, things went smoothly, but then Louisa [Lulu] came along and I got my comeuppance. At 13, she rebelled. I wrote the book seeking catharsis.

Q: You were an obsessive taskmaster, demanding your girls be top of their class, be fluent in Mandarin, practise classical music for hours every day and do chores. You also banned TV, computers, play dates and sleepovers.
A: I didn’t want my kids to fall into a familiar pattern as the granddaughters of immigrants. I was fighting the tendency for them to be entitled and consumerist.

Q: In the book you write “I’m using the term ‘Chinese mother’ loosely. I know some Korean, Indian, Jamaican, Irish and Ghanaian parents who qualify too.” So why call it “Chinese parenting”?
A: It’s Chinese people of a certain demographic, along with other immigrants. And there are patterns; it’s not just stereotypes. I also say Western parents come in all varieties. I have Western friends who are very strict. But I think the current dominant Western parenting approach is much more protective, much more permissive. Western parents are shocked by some of the things that Chinese parents say and do, it seems so harsh. But a lot of immigrant parents are horrified by many aspects of Western parenting: how quickly they let children grow up, how much time they let them waste, and how poorly they prepare them for the future.

Q: You insisted your girls also have hobbies so they wouldn’t become “weird Asian automatons.” So you chose classical music. You didn’t want them doing crafts which “go nowhere” or playing drums which “lead to drugs.”
A: For me classical music symbolized refinement and hard work and delicacy, and a certain depth. Both the piano and the violin are capable of producing such beauty, something more meaningful than watching TV or doing Facebook for 10 hours.

Q: You believe rote repetition is undervalued in North America.
A: Yes, and this is where my book is really against stereotypes. I hear people saying, “Oh, Asians are born good at math, or good at music.” That’s ridiculous. So much of it is just hard work. When Lulu was 10, she had done poorly on a math test, and said, “I’m bad at math, and I don’t like math.” Some Western parents might have deferred to that and said: “That’s just her . . . she doesn’t like math.” But I made all these practice tests, and we drilled them and on the next test Lulu did very well and some of her friends called her a math whiz, and now math is one of her favourite subjects.

Q: You’re a critic of play dates and sleepovers, which you describe as “punishment parents unknowingly inflict on their kids through permissiveness.”
A: Westerners romanticize the sleepover: they say it’s about self-actualization and letting the kids explore. From my experience what that means is you go over to your friend’s house and the two of you do Facebook stalking or you watch reality TV for five hours.

Q: You maintain Western parents believe in choice; Chinese parents don’t.
A: Yes. Many things kids choose for themselves don’t bring happiness. I feel kids actually feel unhappy on Facebook because it seems everyone else has more friends and is having more fun. You’ll hear, “Oh, I want my children to pursue their passion.” Well, if you give a 10-year-old her choice to pursue her passion, it’s not going to be playing the violin for three hours, it’s going to be computer games. I think Westerners defer too much to their children in the name of respecting their individuality. There is a common pattern you’ll see: an Asian and a Western child will start with a violin; six months later the Western child will want to switch to the clarinet because the violin sounds terrible, and then four months later the clarinet turns out to be hard so their choice is the guitar, and then you’re at the drums.

Q: As you present it, the Chinese approach engenders more self-esteem because it focuses on mastery and accomplishment.
A: Yes. The techniques may sound harsh, but the Chinese parent is saying: “I believe in you so much that I know you can be excellent, and I’m going to be in the trenches with you for however long it takes and I’m not going to let you give up.” Now, eventually if your child says, “I don’t like math, I want to be a poet,” you have to let them.

Q: You also point out that in assuming their children are strong, Chinese parents often appear brutally critical.
A: It’s really important to put things in cultural context. When I won second place in a history contest once my father said, “Never, ever disgrace me like that again.” When I tell my Western friends they think, “What a horrible man!” But that’s not how I took it at all. For me, what he was saying is, “I know you could do better. I believe in you.” But I do understand why Westerners react the way they do, because not knowing my family, these things sound harsh.

Q: You were a closet Chinese mother; in public you’d say things like, “Good try, buddy.”
A: That’s another reason I published the book. After I wrote it, I showed it to my sisters and some Chinese friends and they totally related to it and thought it was hysterical. But they all said, “You can’t publish this! You’ll be attacked!” And I thought, “Why?” I certainly learned a lot from what I call the Western model. That’s how the book ends: I become more of a Western parent than I thought possible. I loosened up. Sophia has a boyfriend. Lulu did just get a sleepover. They still aren’t allowed to watch TV, but they can use Facebook, with limits. Where I did not give one inch is academically. I’m still the tiger mom on that front. There is a strong theme in favour of rebellion in the book. I identify with Lulu. Even though I was the obedient Chinese child, I disobeyed my father too. I married a white Jewish guy and now my father adores my husband. And writing this book is a completely non-Chinese thing to do, it’s a rebellious, very Western thing.

Q: Discussing ethnic differences has become a taboo, yet it’s your favourite topic to write about. Why?
A: The world right now is one in which there are definite cultural and ethnic differences. I heard the way my parents talk at home, and I know the way my colleagues talk at Yale law school, and it’s night and day. I’m against stereotypes, but I think not being able to talk about ethnicity or cultural patterns is worse. I was also trying to puncture a stereotype— there are all of these books portraying Asian mothers as callous people who don’t care about their children’s interests. My book is the opposite: it’s a heartfelt memoir about me as a Chinese parent trying do the best for my children because I love them.

Q: Given the focus of your previous books, I wonder whether you see parents as having a larger social responsibility to raise self-reliant, productive citizens.
A: I’ve taught students of all backgrounds for 18 years, and it’s not my experience that kids raised in permissive families are happier than kids raised in strict families—it might be the opposite. We have some serious issues in the West—very high rates of teenage depression and falling behind in terms of education. So it’s going to be hard for our kids to compete and to get jobs when they’re adults, and not being able to get a job is not a recipe for feeling fulfilled with their lives.

Q: Many people will think your parenting regimen was all about your agenda, and not for your kids.
A: That accusation is so hurtful. When I talk to my Chinese friends, we feel it’s the opposite: how easy would it be to say, “Oh, in the name of my child self-actualizing and socializing I’m going to leave them at their friend’s house for six hours and I’m going to a Pilates class and then go have a glass of wine.” So many times I’ve felt, “Wouldn’t it be great if we didn’t have to practise today?” I hope people know that when I write, “I don’t care if my kids think I’m like Lord Voldemort,” I really do care.

Q: Your daughters were raised in the Jewish faith. What’s your husband’s child-raising role?
A: My husband was raised in a liberal family. He adores his parents, but wished somebody had forced him to learn an instrument and speak a second language. And because I was willing to put in the time, he supported me. But from day one he insisted we take family bike rides and go to Yankee games, all things that I thought were a waste of time, but they helped bring balance to the family.




Browse

Amy Chua on high-stakes parenting

  1. This interview fits well with the "Too Asian?" article. Still can't believe all the ranting and raving about it being 'racist' and apologies demanded.

    • You think it's "all ranting and raving" and "'racist'" because you're not affected.

    • Too Asian, Too Hyper Parenting, Too Sensitive follows the pattern of a Single Story. While the objective is to sell magazines and books, it is a new form of racial stereotyping. It starts with a Single Story (Chua's book) from a member of a minority group that can be used to stereotype the group. When the article involves a "successful" member, the stereotyping takes on credibility. Not everyone is sucked in, but it feeds any jealousy or negative sentiment that may already be there towards the targeted minority group. .

  2. Dear Ms. Chua,

    Like you, I am a Chinese mother, born in Manila, with Chinese parents like yours, raised like you…
    Unlike you, I vowed to be different from my parents. I encouraged my daughter to enjoy all the things you prohibited…
    And still, she scored 2340 on the SAT, 60 points off perfect, and got accepted by Harvard, Princeton and Yale.
    It will be interesting to see if your methods can produce the same results.
    I did not push. I encouraged. And I loved unconditionally.
    <a href="http://www.thegoodchinesemother.wordpress.com” target=”_blank”>www.thegoodchinesemother.wordpress.com

    • Ahh yes, but don’t forget nature vs. nurture. She may also have failed the SATs had she different genes even if you parented in the same way! 

  3. As someone that teaches a number of students who find themselves
    in similar households. They are often rigid thinkers, unable or unwilling
    to take any kinds of risks for fear of failure. Little mistakes are treated
    as a calamity. Really disheartening.

    • Yea, it seems pretty sad to sh*t on failure so much

  4. What parents practicing this method fail to consider is the effects that it has on their children. Yes, perfect marks and piano grade credits are all great, but is that really worth a horrible relationship with your children, their childhood and their mental health? (Not to even mention their non-existent social life…)

    • Yes. With accomplishments like 'Professor of Law at Yale Law School' and becoming an accomplished author, I can see why you might think her skills in social integration must have been profoundly affected by her own parents tactics in raising children.

      Are her parenting policies extreme?

      Perhaps they are. But is the new age of entitlement any better? No … it sure isn't. In fact it's probably much worse.

      What happened to respect your elders, accountability and a sense of responsibility? With reference to accountability alone, the answer is really pretty simple. Why should kids be accountable for themselves if someone assumes accountability for them? They might be lazy, disrespectful and irresponsible, but they're sure not stupid.

      Just be prepared, and perhaps for the rest of your life, to explain and apologize for their behaviour. Why should THEY do it when their PARENTS are accountable?

      Ya gotta think it's because … they're ENTITLED.

  5. I think kids nowadays need a little discipline. How many people have actually talked to teenagers? It's a bit shocking their casual attitude towards sex and drugs. They go to school, talk about sex and see kids doing drugs, and they come home, throw studying out the window and go on facebook for hours.

    If only parents knew how their children were really growing up… I think they'd be willing to enforce some discipline if it meant lifelong prosperity.

    • Discipline can be effective and required, but SELF DISCIPLINE is what's lacking. Think about it.

    • Excuse me, but I am extremely offended by this stereotype. Just because SOME teenagers do drugs and casual sex and do not study does not mean ALL teenagers do this. My commenting on this article clearly proves this seeing as I AM A TEENAGER and apparently between sex, drugs and facebook I somehow had time to read Macleans and create an opinion. I also am a hard worker who studies nonstop, do all my homework, achieve high 90s AND have a social life.This was also my problem with this article –stereotypes… not all parents are the so called 'Western Parents' … most parents choose to motivate their child both academically and socially… I actually feel bad for Ms. Chua's children, because they may end up being socially impaired individuals. Who wants to hire someone who can not relate or have proper discussions with other people? I believe that parenting should not be completely liberal OR dictating, but a happy medium where privileges are earned to motivate rather than punishes given to motivate.

    • Im a french student of 19 years old, sorry for the mistakes. I think that most of the students that are smoking, doing drugs, go to party etc. are not necessarily the ones who go on facebbok when they are backk from school. Personnaly, if your child is coming right after school wathever he is going on the computer or not, he is probably one of the good kids. Those "bad guys" are probably not coming home, they stay at school…doing truble, smooking etc. And usually, parents who know how the child is growing know they child is good. Parents how dont know anything about they child, parents taht dont know wath they doing after school are parents who dont know if they child are good or not! And usually, they are not…

  6. Amy Chua says
    'But I made all these practice tests, and we drilled them and on the next test Lulu did very well and some of her friends called her a math whiz, and now math is one of her favourite subjects.'
    I was asked to teach a girl who hated maths. We did maths in tiny doses, always non-stressful and always rewarding verbally new discoveries she made. Within 3 weeks she was requesting maths above other subjects.
    I have taught many children through this approach, almost always with similar success. It gives me a buzz as well as the child.
    Chua's is not the only way.

    • It is possible in Canada because the math curriculum at school is poor and do not prepare students for university programs. How you can explain that 8th grade students cutting paper to learn fraction. In many developing countries it is a program for 4th-5th grade, not 8th.

      • I actually have to say that I agree. As a canadian university student who has studied here all her life, I believe that the elementary and high school system did a very poor job of preparing me and similar canadians for a university program. There should be more encouragement for learning in a similar manner to how universities function, for example, practising effective learning skills, understanding how to take proper notes, critical thinking, self-movitation (that’s a big one), etc. The school system as I see it, poorly prepares students for the sort of self-motivated learning and time management skills that university requires and some areas, in particular maths, are taught so slowly and to such basic levels that the students I have spoke to feel as though there is a huge jump in difficulty from high school to university math. Fortunately, I made it through with a lot of hard work, but I did as well feel a very huge jump from high school to university. 
        I feel as though in my pre-university years all the information was so easily handed to us and made so simple that we didn’t learn effective problem-solving skills. We could simply rush to the teacher and whine instead of solving it for ourselves and if we didn’t understand an assignment and thus didn’t complete it, the teachers often didn’t mind giving us extra time.
        This type of babying and lack of accountability caused me a lot of stress in my first year of university as I was thrown into the new world I was completely unprepared for and I personally believe really hindered my problem-solving skills. It made adjusting to university life a HUGE adjustment that I feel I should have been better prepared for!

  7. Playing the drums leads to drugs!?
    Instant credibility lost right there…

    • Instant loss of credibility right there.

  8. The western world already tried this method years ago. We ended up with a lot of rigid, repressed people who couldn't cope with the new and different. Robots.

    Since the 21st century is going to be full of 'new and different' we need more creative people, not more rigid ones. We have real robots now, so humans can go beyond that.

    • SO TRUE! thank you :)

  9. I agree with Mrs. Chua and support her opinion on rigid parenting. Rigid parenting doesn't mean "not loving parenting" or "producing not creative people parenting". It is simply establishing parent-child relationship where children have rights, but have obligations as well (as adults have, too). I am not Chinese mom, but I think many mothers could learn something from that model.
    Like it or not – just see where China is in the world now.

    • Pointing out China's economic prosperity and saying it's a result of good parenting is utter absurdity. While I think it's done amazing things from an economic prospective a great deal of China's success can be boiled down to sheer numbers. People and ideas eventually lead to greater access to all type of capital. I think a better argument would be to say their willingness to overpopulate and export their population is a better marker of their success than whatever cultural views they promote.

  10. Children and not minature adults. Play and socialization is an important part of growing up. I am sorry the author never had a sleep over. I lived on a ranch and when friends came for a sleep over, we rode horses and played in haystacks. There was no tv watching or computer serfing…just running around outside and alot of giggling.

  11. "Like it or not – just see where China is in the world now" ? What? We're taking advice from a totalitarian state that treats its citizens like automatons and produces rigid thinkers that are lacking the ability to innovate? Talk to anyone that works in an innovative-dependent field and they will tell you the same thing. This isn't to say there are creative thinkers coming out of China but it is a skill that is not as prized as others. I'll take a well rounded student with the ability to think independently over the straight-A, rote learning child. There is a healthy balance between strict parenting and allowing your child to discover their own path to success.

    • Glad to hear somebody use the word Balance. It does seem as if too many children are coddled these days and don't have an appreciation of consequences or responsibility. But reigning children in so tightly that they can barely breathe just isn't the answer for 90% of them when they have to intermingle with OUR society.

    • dude, you obviously have no idea where China is in the world now?!?!? you don't even know what you're talking about…..China is emerging as a global powerhouse???? maybe there is something to be said about chinese tradition and methods?

      • As if you do? Maybe people who use the word 'dude' and question everything they say should just stick to sitting in their mother's basement playing video games.

        • Learn to correctly construct sentence, Guest. Maybe there is something to be said for capitalization and being taken seriously?

    • Creativity not prized in China?

      I would think Chinese poetry would be a considerable example that breaks the image of China being a nation of automatons.

  12. I am amazed that the issue of the high rate of suicide amoungst young people raised the "Chinese mother" way didn't enter the interview. It's a huge problem in the societies that use this method of child rearing. Children don't LEARN music on the piano or violin this way, their bodies develop the ability to repeat the notes that appear on a piece of paper. The first is art and the latter is automaton.

    • I was thinking the same thing while reading the article. Seems odd to gloss that over so thoroughly.

      Strict discipline doesn't neccesarily teach self-discipline, especially if children lack the opportunity to practise autonomous decision making early in their lives. Most of our lives are not prescribed or predestined, and the ability to envision a great future coupled with the courage to take intelligent risks arises primarily from a balance of self-discipline and the self-confidence that arises from a strong sense of personal autonomy.

      So balance is clearly best, but I find Mz.Chua's version a little… authoritarian… for my tastes.

      • As a Chinese "tiger daughter" raised by the near replica of this mother and obtaining high achievements in both violin piano and university I would say that for a long time actually there is almost zero sense of self. After escaping from home and cutting contact with my mother for several years I battled deep shame for leaving with the need to differentiate as a person. I am only now at 31 yrs old beginning to comprehend that my life and time are mine alone. I wonder how other Asian girls survive this separation process. Would they be as able to overcome the horribleness of such emotionally isolated times?

        But look you ungrateful child born with silver spoons in your mouth you are shamefully revealing to the public the secret verbal and emotional traumas going on behind closed doors in suburbia! Family is everything. You are not allowed to make mistakes or talk back. Oh "the road to Hell was paved with 'good' intentions." I question the true basis for carrying out those intentions in demanding ways for those of us learning late in life that the difficulties of being in society and being personally autonomous are that much more difficult as a direct result of culturally-mindless Tiger parenting.

  13. That should be "abused her daughter so that she would learn a piano piece to satisfy her own sense of self-worth. . ."

    • Although I fully agree with KayKay, I was happy to see RToday's rectification. I have spent the last 10 years in the woods , no electricity, no running water, thus no internet but lots of books. So, when I returned to civilization four months ago I got myself a computer and plugged myself to the world wide web.

      Fascinating experience, but what appalled me was the sloppy writing skills on the internet. When I started reading KayKay's comments I couldn't figure out who's daughter KayKay was talking about. And the spelling errors on the internet. Don't these people have a dictionary? Don't they re-read their text before sending it?

      Sometimes I get the impression that the average logger is fourteen years old.

  14. Has it not occurred to anyone that this woman should be prosecuted for the way she treats her children, by her own admission, and that they should be taken away from her for their own protection?!?!? We're too pc for our own good!

    • u say this—but u really mean prosecute china?
      really?
      honestly, if u look into the world a little bit more u'll realize there's a lot of discipline that can be classified under the category u've chosen
      I think people should be more open minded, and not accuse people without understanding their views-not just from a written interview

  15. you guys seriously have no sense of humour — you can't sense the sarcasm in that comment. it's so apparent that she's making fun of herself in the book which is why she's changed her ways near the end of the book….geez, don't take everything so literal!!!

    • Um excuse me? But doesn't a roundabout and pointless book kind of make for a bullsh-t article?

  16. It's not "racist"- it's her views on things, and if u had an open mind(isn't that what Western culture's advantage), u would not have said that.

  17. really? "abuse her children"
    although i might not be keen on Chinese parenting, but i do know that in other parts of the world that discipline- in which westerners lack.
    And "abusing children" is the most common "word" to describe discipline in which u do not agree with

  18. OMG this isn't relevant but like who cares this article is totally lamezzzzz anyways. If you wanna get to the bottom of this stuff you gotta look at the facts and get rid of your own biases. So let's look at the FACTS. I'm strictly talking facts so keep judgment out of this
    1. Doesn't it look like she's holding a poisonous apple à la Snow White in the first pic?
    2. Second pic = skilled in the art of strangling?
    3. Smoking victory cigarette after poisoning daughter A and strangling daugter B?

    • OMG hahahahhahah totally right

    • @HAHAHA You and your comment are full of win.

  19. Could it be that different kids benefit from different methods of parenting? Imagine that. Different people have different needs, who would've thought?

  20. This mother values competence.
    Not accepting anything but the best in a child does teach the hard work to strive to be better.
    I would want to hire this Tiger Mum's daughters as I know they would try and give the customer the best. So many Canadian young people expect a half done job to win an account. Fail.

  21. I would just like to draw attention to this comment by Mr. Leigh:

    " Richard Leigh · 2 days ago
    I think kids nowadays need a little discipline. How many people have actually talked to teenagers? It's a bit shocking their casual attitude towards sex and drugs. They go to school, talk about sex and see kids doing drugs, and they come home, throw studying out the window and go on facebook for hours.

    If only parents knew how their children were really growing up… I think they'd be willing to enforce some discipline if it meant lifelong prosperity."

    Excuse me, but I am extremely offended by this stereotype. Just because SOME teenagers do drugs and casual sex and do not study does not mean ALL teenagers do this. My commenting on this article clearly proves this seeing as I AM A TEENAGER and apparently between sex, drugs and facebook I somehow had time to read Macleans and create an opinion. I also am a hard worker who studies nonstop, do all my homework, achieve high 90s AND have a social life.This was also my problem with this article –stereotypes… not all parents are the so called 'Western Parents' … most parents choose to motivate their child both academically and socially… I actually feel bad for Ms. Chua's children, because they may end up being socially impaired individuals. Who wants to hire someone who can not relate or have proper discussions with other people? I believe that parenting should not be completely liberal OR dictating, but a happy medium where privileges are earned to motivate rather than punishes given to motivate.

  22. As senior management in an engineering firm, I can advise that career success is dependent upon social skills and well-roundedness along with the engineering degree. I have found that many of those strictly-raised Asian engineers lack those social skills and creativity necessary for upper management.

  23. Your friends said you will be attacked on account of your book and everything related. I AGREE! The amount of ignorance and stereotypes (that are hardly stereotypes at all) in your interview is appalling. As a Grade 10 Chinese male, I play the drums, go to sleepovers., break-dance, play lead Trombone, go on Facebook, and all that jazz. Guess what? My average is 90%!

    To me, it's all about balance and good habits. You and your kids may be admirable, but the most admirable people in my eyes are the ones that are smart enough to take the best of both parenting systems, and create a golden balance that will take them to great heights.

    Do you play the drums? Don't think so. Have you been to sleepovers? Likely not. Have you hosted a sleepover? Why am I even asking…

    HOW would you know drums lead to drugs? HOW would you know what goes on at sleepovers?!
    Your Yale credentials don't excuse you from doing research. These nonexistent stereotypes are just excuses. They give you reasons to forbid those activities. They provide you with self-comfort in midst of your tyrannic regime. They are bullcrap.

    Everyone is entitled to their opinions. I am to mine, you are to yours. Please don't make it seem all Chinese are like you. It's hard enough as it is with the aftermath of “Too Asian”.

    Oh and I also sport a stylish fauxhawk.
    Suck on that.
    I'm out.
    Peace.

    • @ Ching Chang Chong I'm not trying to be a goon, but the drums leading to drugs comment was meant to be satirical. Also, fauxhawks are for n00bs.

  24. Ever watch Big Bang Theory?
    Oh dear, I can just imagine a real life Sheldon right now.
    Or maybe 2.

  25. She's raising robot kids. Good for her. BTW, not all parents let their kids go on Facebook, watch endless hours of TV and avoid homework. Your stereotypes of Western life only reinforce (or should I say promote?) the stereotypes of Asians.

    "And writing this book is a completely non-Chinese thing to do, it's a rebellious, very Western thing". I think Amy needs to check her batteries.

  26. I am reading all of the comments with interest. There are many interesting points being raised.
    However, I would like to point out that Amy Chua herself wrote about how she learned to let go and adjust her parenting. Obviously, she did realize what she was doing wasn't perfect, as most of parents (myself included) come to find out.
    As for the comments about child abuse: I have seen the real thing, both physical and emotional. What she has done may be highly unpleasant, but it is not in the same league. IMHO

  27. "…I did not write this book as a parenting book; and it's not about promoting the Chinese parenting model, although some people will take it that way." As Amy had disclaimed, she was just expressing her journey as a parent, so why did all ppl to judge a mother?
    Western way or Asian way, anyway, the middle way: BALANCE should be the better way.

  28. I mainly agree with the concept of what Amy says but it seems she is going to extremes.Since what her father did was good for her doesn't mean she can use the same method and intensity on her children. Every child like an adult has his or her own limit and you can't push beyond that limit,because if you do, your child can face problems like anxiety or depression or other psychological problem.

  29. I've started a cheeky blog inspired by all of this. I'd like to read the book just get my own perspective. I'm still confused because there has been some backpedaling in recent interviews.
    http://mechinese.wordpress.com/

  30. I'm still unsure as to whether this book is a memoir, parenting guide or it's supposed to be ironic.

  31. I mainly agree with the concept of what Amy says but it seems she is going to extremes.Since what her father did was good for her doesn't mean she can use the same method and intensity on her children. Every child like an adult has his or her own limit and you can't push beyond that limit,because if you do, your child can face problems like anxiety or depression or other psychological problem.

  32. It is interesting how people do not understand that it is not about playing piano or being the best in math at class – it is about discipline and preparing child to be an adult.
    Look at the modern teenagers or young adults, most of them have no targets in their lives. They want to have fun all the time.

  33. "take a look at what's happening in China right now" Exactly. China is being used for their cheap mind numbing labor. Cloning existing products hardly demonstrates innovation. This womans actions are very consistent with the historical behaviour of her ancestors, which I suppose should come as no surprise.

Sign in to comment.