David Letterman briefly unretires to lampoon Donald Trump

David Letterman was called back into action with a new Top Ten List inspired by the presidential run of Donald Trump


TV-Letterman Retiring

Some things are more important than retirement.

David Letterman was called back into action this weekend with a brand-new Top Ten List inspired by the recent presidential candidacy of Donald Trump.

Although he’s been content since retiring as host of Late Show in May, Letterman called missing out on lampooning Trump’s White House bid “the biggest mistake of my life.”

Related: The problem and promise of Donald Trump

Appearing with his pals Martin Short and Steve Martin at their live comedy show Friday night in San Antonio, he made up for lost time:

10. That thing on his head was the gopher in Caddyshack.

9. During sex, Donald Trump calls out his own name.

8. Donald Trump looks like the guy in the lifeboat with the women and children.

7. He wants to build a wall? How about building a wall around that thing on his head!

6. Trump walked away from a moderately successful television show for a delusional, bull… Oh, no, wait, that’s me.

5. Donald Trump weighs 240 pounds — 250 with cologne.

4. Trump would like all Americans to know that that thing on his head is free-range.

3. (tie) If President, instead of pardoning a turkey on Thanksgiving, he plans to evict a family on Thanksgiving. AND: That’s not a hairdo — it’s a wind advisory.

2. Donald Trump has pissed off so many Mexicans, he’s starring in a new movie entitled, NO Amigos (a reference to the 1986 comedy, Three Amigos, which starred Short and Martin).

1. Thanks to Donald Trump, the Republican mascot is also an ass.


David Letterman briefly unretires to lampoon Donald Trump

  1. Running for president is a hobby of Trumps. No one takes him seriously.

  2. So Trump is not OK with Letterman but the regular dancing monkeys who dance to the tune of the immigration lobby in the U.S., Canada and W. Europe are just fine? The pro-immigration stooges of all political stripes who insist on endangering Western nations with endless waves of hostile 3rd world immigrants are they best anyone can get?

  3. One part of the speech has been heavily quoted: “When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending their best. . . . But as to Mr. Trump’s words, throughout our history other nations never sent their “best” to America. My people and my friend’s, the Irish, were not Ireland’s elite when they came in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. They had nothing back home; that’s why they left. The landed gentry, the high-born, the educated and established—they didn’t come here. They didn’t have to! The wretched refuse did. And the Irish transition to America was not so smooth. There was plenty of poverty, overcrowding, addiction, criminality. We should always remember—and Mr. Trump, as a native New Yorker, should remember—that our city’s arrest vehicles weren’t known as paddy wagons for nothing.

    There may even have been some fairly fractious Trumps way back then . . .


  4. Notice how Letterman, in typical Leftist fashion, attacks Trump personally and NOT on substance.
    Unfortunately, Trumps chances of winning the Republican Party nomination are zero or less because he is politically incorrect, i.e. he speaks truth. But also notice how his words, though stated somewhat inelegantly, are resonating with large numbers of frustrated voters.

    • I haven’t heard any of his ideas that pass the giggle test, but if you know of any, please enlighten us.

      • When Donald Trump announced he candidacy for President of the United States last month, he listed 8 subjects which concerned him. They can be easily “Googled” if you are actually interested or curious. Here is a list of the headings of his platform.
        (1) Trade Deals
        (2) Unemployment
        (3) Health Care Overhaul
        (4) ISIS
        (5) US Nuclear Stockpile
        (6) Entitlements
        (7) Education
        (8) Infrastructure.
        These subjects may or may not pass your giggle test but at least you should make the effort to learn what they are. I suspect you will imitate Letterman and find them as amusing as his hairdo, and thus like the man himself, be unworthy of being taken seriously.

        • I don’t see any of Trump’s ideas in your list. Do you know what an ‘idea’ is?

          • Tresus Capax:
            I thought one of the meanings of the word “idea” is “plan” which is what Trump outlined in his speech as I listed above.
            There are many other definitions of the word “idea” as you must know.. Apparently I don’t know the meaning of the word to your satisfaction. Please forgive my ignorance and be kind enough to inform me of your definition of the word “idea”. Thank you.

          • Any dictionary will do.
            You might want to look up ‘plan’ while you’re at it. You’ll find you didn’t provide any of those either.

  5. Trump is not actually a candidate. You don’t become one until you release tax data, and The Donald has never done that….He’s also gone bankrupt several times

    He’s just amusing himself.

    However, el Chapo has just threatened him so unless Trump wants to be a martyr he’d better call it a day early this time.

    • There are many current candidates who have not yet publicly released their Tax Retuns. Trump has stated that he will be happy to release his Income Tax Returns when Pres. Obama releases his genuine Birth Certificate.
      Although Trump may have gone bankrupt several times, Madam Hillary Rodham Clinton, Democratic Party Presidential Candidate, has stated that she and hubby Bill not only left the White House flat broke, but also in deep debt. So what bearing do these facts have on a candidate’s suitability for Office?
      El Chapo’s unconditional “fatwah” against Trump has already been issued so dropping out of the race now is really irrelevant n’est pas?

      • Yup…most of them aren’t actually running, they’re just goofing around for publicity.

        The ‘genuine birth certificate’ stuff is more of the crackpottery on the American right. Cheap teapots I guess. LOL

        Trump was born wealthy. Would you trust your country to someone who can’t stay solvent?

        In any case it won’t matter to Canadians

        • Going broke and declaring bankruptcy are not the same thing, and may or may not have anything connection with solvency. Check with a legal expert.
          Just because a hockey team may be behind after the end of the second period, they can still end up winning the game. Don’t judge Trump’s ability to manage a country by past temporary setbacks. The game’s not over ’til it’s over.
          Obama, on the other hand, has actually bankrupted America. His only saving grace is that the Treasury Dept. keeps on printing ever more and more fiat dollars.

          • Trump’s guided his business to insolvency 4 times. No legal expert needed.

          • AHAHAHAHAHA….you belong with the crackpot party fer shure.

  6. Trump highlights the hypocrisy of the republicans position on illegal immigration. For republicans illegal immigrants are the most important source of cheap labour that is necessary to bust unions and to lower the wage demands throughout the country. That is the centrepiece of their economic strategy. Lower wages encourage business, but are not supported by the average person. So they lie saying they are against illegals.

    They talk a whole lot about immigration policy but are not willing to lift a finger to do anything about it. Building a wall is nothing but an expensive waste of time.

Sign in to comment.