The Real Housewives of Vancouver: More booze than brains - Macleans.ca
 

The Real Housewives of Vancouver: More booze than brains

In our episode 8 recap: what you need to know about ‘glamping’


 

Thankfully, for all of Toronto at least, the Housewives are back on the West Coast this week where we’re taken straight to matriarch from hell, Jody’s house.

Jody has Robin over and immediately starts to dig into Robin’s alliance with Mary. “I’m not going to stand here and pretend I’m unintelligent,” she says (I didn’t realize it was an act). “Mary is Lucifer, she’s a terrorist.”

Unable to convince Robin, Jody writes her off. Interestingly, she also rants about how Mary has tried to mess with her business. This week, Vancouver media reported that the Animal Liberation Front vandalized Jody’s fur-selling West Vancouver boutique (Karma: 1, Jody: 0). She blamed the attack on Mary for publicizing the fact that she sells fur, though perhaps the giant mink coats, Russian trapper hats and feather boas she sports around town are also a giveaway.

Mary, meanwhile, bids farewell to her son Cole, who is moving to New York to pursue an internship with former President Bill Clinton. She’s sad that he’s leaving but it’s nice to see her cry about something other than Housewives-related rubbish.

Speaking of rubbish — over at Ronnie’s place, a psychic named Char is invited to do readings on Ronnie and Amanda.

Char asks Ronnie if there’s an “R” person that might be present — Robert or Rose maybe? Ronnie assumes it’s her grandmother’s sister, Rose, whose spirit is present. Char then mentions a female with an “M” name — “like a Mary?”

“I feel she doesn’t get you,” the psychic advises, at which point I momentarily stopped watching because my eyes rolled into the back of my head.

There wasn’t a single piece of information gleaned that this woman couldn’t have picked up from watching any of the many episodes of Housewives, or frankly even doing a quick Google search on the car ride over. But Char does mention sensing that “someone” is “chemically imbalanced or alcoholic” — traits that Ronnie has on full display later in the episode.

Amanda, next in line for a reading, bursts into tears when Char tells her that she is “one of God’s children.” Again, with the specifics.

Anyway, with a new lease on life, Ronnie decides to have a drama-free birthday party and takes her friends, less Mary and Jody, on a glamping trip — that’s glamour camping for all you 99 per centers.

They head to the Rockwater Resort at Halfmoon Bay, B.C. On the way, Ronnie lets it slip that she and Mary had some kind of one-night stand, but she doesn’t elaborate further, leaving viewers to imagine what horrors took place.

The ladies are greeted by Champagne and snacks, including pineapple, which Ronnie claims has lots of digestive enzymes.

“It makes sperm taste good!” chimes in Amanda.

The ladies make their way to their “tents,” which are virtually indistinguishable from a cabin at a four-star hotel, and there’s a lame attempt to play croquet before they settle down for their favourite activity: drinking. Ironically, most of the Housewives have been divorced and that’s exactly what they discuss over more bubbly, with Amanda calling out Robin for being too dense to know when she is being played for a fool.

This is the woman who sobbed when someone told her she’s a child of God.

During a pre-dinner siesta, Robin seizes the opportunity to call Mary from her bubble bath in order to relay the day’s gossip, including the aforementioned tryst with Ronnie.

Mary spouts off her classic denial response but it’s still kind of funny to hear her say, “Ronnie and I have never, ever, ever been intimate.”

The group gathers to eat by the pool and things are pleasant until Robin opens up about her conversation with Mary.

I don’t often agree with Ronnie, but when she says, “Nobody hired you to do this job,” in reference to Robin’s middleman ways, I found myself nodding along.

Still, the mood is peaceful overall. Almost as if she senses this, Jody phones Ronnie and makes a couple of digs at Robin, calling her a traitor and implying that she’s an idiot.

Then things get heavy as Amanda opens up about her troubled youth and being sexually abused as a child and a teenager.

“It’s times like this that we as women come together and become open,” she says, a remarkably wise observation from someone who so relishes stirring the pot.

The trip goes so smoothly that Ronnie wants to keep the celebration going. So, she arranges for herself, Robin and Amanda to take a yacht trip from her beachfront property to Granville Island, where Jody and Ioulia await at Dockside Restaurant.

The trip, in Robin’s words, “is about 40 ounces of vodka long.” She and Ronnie, to whom the proverbial wagon is now a distant dot on the horizon, are completely sauced and Jody is less than impressed. Even Ioulia sticks to drinking coffee. When Ronnie orders shots, Ioulia protests that the vodka at Dockside is no good.

“To an alcoholic, baby, the vodka doesn’t matter,” retorts Robin. And I’m sure she wishes she’d kept her mouth shut because suddenly, Ronnie releases all of her pent-up rage concerning Robin’s friendship with Mary in a manic fit, not unlike what we’ve seen from her in the past.

There’s the rhetorical question, “What did you just say to me?”; the threat, “You f–k with me and I’ll f–k with you,”; rounded out by the nonsensical conclusion, “At the end of the day we’re all here and we’re all alive.”

And that brings us to the end of yet another 60 minutes that we will never get back.


 

The Real Housewives of Vancouver: More booze than brains

  1. Yet you write about this trash, put it on your web page and perpetuate its existance.

    • It’s a popular show. If you don’t like it then don’t read the recaps… ridiculous notion isn’t it?

  2. What, where is the picture with Ronnie and an IV pump full of boose shooting into her arm, or Jody/Amanda putting a dagger in Mary’s back. What a pile, better to have the three of them, mixing eye of the neut over a boiling cauldron. Love Mary,the Ruskie and the Yank, the rest you can find at the local Shiksa trailar park on the road that says,” I need class”.

  3. What happened to Ronnie’s lips, made me cringe through the last several shows, she could not even speak properly. I don’t know why these women think this looks good…………unless they’re going to Clown school.

  4. A bunch of crazies, and poor Mary has to put up with their BS.

  5. Well, no one can sum up the fiasco that is Ronnie, Jody and Amanda better than Manisha. Watching those 3 train wrecks makes my ordinary life seem blessed.

  6. This show is so ridiculous. The only three who are remotely human are Mary, Robyn and the Russian. Amanda certainly does not act like a child of God and fuels every fire she can get near. What exactly is her claim to fame? Ronnie is superficial and very uneducated…maybe was a trophy wife, but has now focussed so much on cosmetic surgery, that she looks ridiculous. Jody, simply put, is a very insecure woman who herself is a delusional narcissist. I don’t think Jody realizes how ridiculous she comes across with her fake “superior to everyone else” speech…who talks like that? She is the female version of Peter Pan with her juvenile tiaras and furs lol. She is not aware that people watch because she is pretentiously funny and mean spirited. Her issues with Mary are deep because she cannot be Mary…pure envy and jealousy. I feel sorry for Mary who truly is normal and who constantly is thrown to the wolves by the likes of Ronnie, Amanda and Jody. Can’t we have some normal educated women on this show to portray Canada properly? For Jody…a little advice…you have already ruined one daughter who has turned out just like her mother, your son is clearly embarrassed by you and having your youngest leave so that she doesn’t overhear how nasty her mother truly is, won’t change the fact that unless you try to do differently as a mother, she will end up being a carbon copy of you, which ultimately, won’t suit her well in life…shame on you Jody. Aspire to grow up and set a proper example, instead of acting like you are far superior to everyone. Not sure what happened in your childhood to make you the way you are, but seek some therapy honey and bring your good emulating friends, Ronnie and Amanda with you and FYI, you looked ridiculous on Top Chef.

    • I read somewhere that Hannah is actually Mia’s child and not Jody’s. It would make sense since Jody has got to be in her 50’s trying to pretend she’s in her 40’s.

    • The best way to put it…these women are rich, supposedly cultured but in reality they are just encoraging HATE! In times where bullying has become a crisis, they are just promoting it and even worst their own children are watching their actions and copying them…what kinda of a mother are you? As for the Marie character, look you have been pushed, shoved and insulted so many times why the hell would you go back for more!!! Urgh, so frustrating.

  7. I started watching this show, because it was in Vancouver. The childish personalities of some of these women is disturbing, particularly Ronnie and Jody. Ronnie is definitely chemically imbalanced. She is a mean girl with her Jody and Amanda minions. She loves stirring the pot and then sits back and enjoys the drama that she pretends to be not a part of.

    Jody, a horrible, evil, classless, unkind person lives in a world she has created in her mind that is as fake as she is. She should be embarrassed by the horrible daughter she has raised, Mia, and it looks like she is on the way to ruining her youngest as well. Jody really needs to learn some lessons about bullying. I find myself fast forwarding through any part of the show she is in, because listening to her is like listening to nails on a chalk board.

    I read that Amanda was told she should be interesting if she wanted to stay on the show for more than one season. She should realize that being aggressively mean is not interesting.

  8. “At the end of the day we’re all here and we’re all alive.”

    Has Ronnie been thinking about suicide? She sure is unstable and unhappy. For the past few episodes I’ve been wondering what is going on in her personal life that is making her so anxious and depressed.

    • I read on another blog that Ronnie has been stumbling around Vancouver asking ppl if her husband has been cheating on her. It could be what pushed her over the edge and off the wagon and likely the reason why she keeps her face so shot up with botox. It has to be one helluva existence to live like that. It might be a good idea to develop some character, her personality is wearing thin. She should stop using her special needs daughter to gain sympathy too, it’s very unclassy.

  9. I’m so confused about the “alliance” of housewives that are making life miserable for Mary. Didn’t they watch season one? Can’t they tell what Jody – the ultimate mean girl – is up to? Is Ronnie so zoned out that she can’t see how she has been, and is being, played by Jody? This is so inexplicable to me that I wonder if it originates with the producers – that have given Jody a persona to anger the viewers and given Mary a victim role? I miss Christina – Mary’s other ally before Robin came along. Something seems so fishy about the Jody-Mary thing, the mob ganging up again, the fact that Mary has only one ally who will speak up again this season, and the remaining cast of ostriches or pot-stirrers. I can certainly see that Jody relishes her role and was born to “play it” if that’s what is going on. But, are WE being played?

  10. Interesting that Mia and Jody throw insults at Mary about her cheeks while Ronnie’s face (and who knows what else) is turning to granite before our very eyes.

  11. I do love the fact that the show reveals the beauty of British Columbia. Ain’t it gorgeous! (And I’m from Alberta)

  12. Jody comes across as a mean sprited, vengeful, narcisstic, imbalanced, childish ( the list can go on and on) I have read that she feels that she has been misrepresented on the show and is actually a very nice person. Sure Jody. I guess seeing yourself on tv and how awful you are is tough. The truth hurts and denial is what you do best. She seems obessessed with Mary, If i dont like someone, i dont acknowledge and stay away from them. I think Jody may have OCD. And Please stop wearing that tiara and fur. It is tacky

    As for Ronnie, she is not that bad. I mean she has anger issues and quite frankly looks possessed by the devil when she is angry, actually more like when she is mad, many voices go off in her head. She gets these crazy eyes. I also think she is unbalanced and doing this reality show is very unhealthy for her as she cleary has mental health issues.

  13. I think it’s time for the writers of this show to dial it back a bit. Ronnie, Jody and Amanda are becoming caricatures of themselves, and the behaviour is so outrageous that it’s not believable. Real people don’t act this way. It’s a sad commentary on Canadian women and a black eye for our beautiful Vancouver. It’s quickly becoming unwatchable.

  14. I have never seen such a vile woman such as Jody. She is such bully. If I was the richest person I would never shop at her store.

  15. throw a russian in there and all sense goes down the toilet

  16. Amanda is such a joke. She’s Jody’s little mignon.I find it comical to watch her follow and regurgitate everything that Jody says and does. She’s certainly not an original thinker. I found it particularly funny when she hosted her tea party and bowed down to the “queen” after being scolded about “picking her loyalty”. And what a hypocrite this woman is, she
    doesn’t like Mary because of “fillers” yet she’s 15 years younger than Mary and
    doing the same thing. As far as I’m concerned she’s a self-serving, weak
    follower that needs to be removed from the show. There’s only room for one
    Jody. And if I had to make an educated guess I would have to say that Robin would definitely score higher on an IQ test than Amanda, therefore, I don’t think that Amanda has any business calling Robin “ditsy” or “dumb”, opinionated , YES, but that’s only because she has a brain that is able to construct original opinions/thoughts, unlike her.

  17. I think the house wives should meet the vancity biker chicks on an episodeTHAT wold put a twist on thing lmao might give the girls a common threat to band together then fail to unite once again .

  18. I find Jody so ridiculous that I have to wonder if she has been told to act the way she does to create all the issues on the show. The way she dresses is so tacky and her voice and the fluttering of the eyelashes is so phony. Her daughter Mia must have a pretty boring life if she has to tag along with her mother everywhere. I have never seen a grown woman, rich or poor, being so obsessed with another person as Jody is with Mary. She’s like a high school kid trying to get people over to her “side”. How immature is that? I love Mary on the show,,,,she is about the only one that seems normal. Somebody should tell Jody that a secure person does not have to flaunt their wealth. Who is she trying to impress???? She is making a total fool out of herself! And so is her daughter, Mia.

  19. Ok that reading from Char was hilarious…someone with the letter M…like a Mary. someone with the letter J…like a Jody. Well yeah, they are on tv so she knows exactly what’s going on in their lives!!!

  20. I feel that the only one that is straight talking and sensible is Mary the other are all good time girls and very very two faced even if it is plastic surgery and not a good one at that Ronnie’s face looks like the joker in batman maybe the same person done it. MIA she wants suffocating with a voice like Robins I would cut my neck Amanda well that just need its broom maybe she can borrow Jody’s Jody is the one that is the shit stutterer as she is always the one that has to bring up Mary even when the poor sod is not there anyway the only one that is genuine is Mary