The Bachelorette: All’s fair in love and dodge ball

Hearts, fingers, webs of lies, all were shattered in latest installment of The Bachelorette.

The episode begins with dodge ball. Team Red: Mikey, Michael, Brooks, Chris and Brandon. Team Blue: Ben, Drew, Zach, Brad and Brian. The prize: Admission to an after-party.

After three rounds and plenty of double entendres (“There’s balls going all over the place, flying around;” “We went balls to the wall”), Team Blue emerges victorious. Still Des awards the red team points for effort and invites them along to the bash.

In the midst of the dodge-ball madness, Brooks breaks a finger and passes out. You’d think he’d been hit by a car for all the sirens.

Back at the cocktail party, Brad opens up to Des about being a single dad to three-year-old Maddox.

Chris, deciding to up his game, takes Des to the rooftop. They seem really comfortable, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he ends up a finalist. Later, Brooks shows up from ER as though returning from war. He and Des make out for a little bit, though she ends up giving the rose to Chris, allowing them more time together — in the form of a private concert by Kate Earl. They kiss on the dance floor.

Kasey gets the next date card. On the morning Des is to pick him up, she receives a call from host Chris Harrison revealing that Brian has a girlfriend. Deciding to catch him in a lie, Des questions Brian. He swears up and down that he is on the show for “the right reasons.” Then his girlfriend Stefanie shows up. Gotcha!

Brian’s somewhat underwhelming reaction? “Oh geez.” His girlfriend goes on a hysterical rant about how he’s made a fool of her and betrayed her son. It turns out they were sleeping together right up until Brian left for the show, and she thought he was on business in California.

Brian is kicked out of the bachelor pad and the other guys get a warning.

Oddly, Brandon seems most affected by the drama. He cries during a confessional as he reflects on being abandoned by his mom’s boyfriends as a child. The man has more baggage than … a baggage handler.

On that note, Des and Kasey embark on a date from hell. They spend time doing Cirque du Soleil type acrobatics on the side of a skyscraper, though neither seems into it. Then they hit a rooftop for dinner, though it’s so windy they can’t hear themselves speak. To remedy the situation, they jump into a swimming pool, which was freezing cold. As Des wraps her head and face in a towel, Kasey goes in for the most inopportune kiss of all time. They call it a night, but not before Des gives him a rose.

Next up, another group date.

Keeping it low key for once, ABC has the men perform stunts with the team from Disney’s upcoming summer blockbuster Lone Ranger. Des enjoys the cowboy outfits and chooses to have some alone time with Juan Pablo. The pair get a sneak peek at the movie and a chance to make out. It’s clear there is not much by way of stimulating conversation or compatibility here, but you can’t blame Des for wanting to get her kicks before she inevitably has to eliminate this Venezuelan babe. Continuing her kissing streak, she hooks up with Bryden and James, whom she gives the rose.

A pool party offers the men one last chance to make an impression. But first, Ben takes Des for a ride and steals a few kisses, much to the chagrin of the other guys. At the party, Brandon brings up how hurt he was by Brian’s actions and confesses he’s falling in love with Des. He kisses her, but there’s no passion there, only pity.

To that end, at the rose ceremony, Brandon and Dan get the boot. Brandon warns Des she is making a huge mistake, but she says they lack chemistry.

“Once again, someone left me,” he says. The guy needs a hug — and a lot of therapy.