An open letter to some girl I don't know - Macleans.ca
 

An open letter to some girl I don’t know


 

Hey Jaclyn (?) Lee (?),

How are you? I am well. I hope all these years after our graduation have treated you kindly.

First of all, I’m not exactly sure that your name is, in fact, Jaclyn . I’ve been told through the grapevine that you have a bone to pick with me, but I don’t remember you in the slightest. What I do know, however, is that you’re really upset that I won’t add you on Facebook. Now I make no pretense of being popular, so it’s not like I spend my days ignoring friend requests, but certainly I say no to more people than I say yes to.

But I genuinely cannot remember who you are. I usually only identify people by a distinct character flaw, so you must be really perfect because nowhere in my half-decent memory can I find you or your name. I will go ahead and assume you are a blond/brunette white female between the ages of 17 and 20.

What I can’t understand, however, is why you would be so wound up over the fact that I won’t add you. Clearly we had little contact, nevermind a full conversation.

Please show yourself. I feel like I may owe you an apology.

Or maybe I don’t. Maybe I’ll find out who you are and it’ll just increase me ire for you and people like you, who require the popularity contest that is Facebook friending. And to be so irked by the fact that I just won’t say yes, to be so personally offended by it that you tell one person who tells another who tells me and then you become this joke, this extravagant joke about this broad that is hurt because I will not add them – well that’s so sad for you.

Or maybe you’re not like that, who knows?

In my defense, the purpose of Facebook is to keep in touch with people that you want to keep in touch with, however, if there is no need found on the part of either parties to keep in touch, what’s the purpose behind it? The way I see it, some people drift away, some people don’t. I have no desire to keep talking to that girl that sat in the back row of my Math class and cut Simple Plan lyrics into her wrists.

For all I know, Jaclyn (?) Lee (?) could have been that girl. In reality, what would we have to catch up on if we’ve never been caught up int he first place?

So please, if I hurt you – or any of you, for that matter! – please expose yourselves to me. As some do when I delete them, confront me. I’ll give my reasons and you give yours.  It’s Facebook. It’s not even as serious as Twitter – IT’S FACEBOOK.

Anyway, I hope there’s no bad blood. Or maybe I do? Depends on who you actually are.

Hope you’re well, Jaclyn (?) Lee (?)!

–  Scaachi


 
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An open letter to some girl I don’t know

  1. ahah this is so funny