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The conditional acceptance letter

Why it’s easy to feel rejected by university


 

 

Conditional acceptance. Together these two words mean that I’ve been accepted at the University of Waterloo and McMaster.Sort of.

If it was just an ‘Acceptance’ I’d be an official (potential) McMaster/Waterloo student. But that would be completely ignoring the telekenetic bond, the spiritual life-force, between Acceptance and his arch-nemesis, Conditional. Together there is harmony. Ying and Yang. Without one the other cannot survive.

Ever since they were bound together, Conditional has questioned Acceptance’s naive optimism, being the one to ask the awkward, socially inappropriate questions. Like, “Sure, we could just give them an unconditional offer. But what if they were smooshed by bus? Or suddenly abandoned the Way of the Nerd and stopped working hard in school?”

Either way, in one day, 23 hours and 34.2 seconds, I have to decide: University of Waterloo or McMaster. Biology, Biomedical Sciences, or Health Sciences.

Of the five programs I applied to, Health Sciences at McMaster was my last choice. Until, of course, I received an acceptance from every single other program I had applied to.

The more it rejected me, the more I wanted it. I had already done extensive research before applying, but I started noticing the subtle, ultra cool details of the program. Like the fact that students get to experiment with cadavers.

Suddenly, there was nothing I wanted more from life. I became obsessed. I whispered its name into the night sky: “Health Sciences…”

I wanted to be One with the Program.

But after much careful consideration, I decided that the program just wasn’t for me. Sure, I’d love to pick at dead bodies in the name of science and white lab coats. But when zombies are awakened by an ancient Aztec curse, risen from their crispy slumber, who do you think they’ll go after first? Besides, ‘health sciences’ backwards is ‘secneics htlaeh.’ Which sounds kinda like ‘section pay.’ Which is sort of like, “confection day.” Which would be pretty unhealthy. That, and I recently found out that I wasn’t accepted. Apparently my marks, “weren’t competitive enough.”

Bastards.


 
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The conditional acceptance letter

  1. Were your marks really low to be saying that they “weren’t competitive enough” ?

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