Holy crap: Victoria’s pitching a loaf


A recent article in Macleans reports that Victoria is the only city in Canada that- get this- discharges its sewage “raw.” Meaning, if Victoria’s human waste was a DVD, it would be the complete and uncut edition.

Victoria is Canada’s disgusting child. The one who pees all over the toilet seat. The one who, after eating a Caesar salad, gets a white creamy moustache. When Victoria, Ottawa, and Toronto had a family barbecue, Victoria picked his nose and then rubbed his finger in Ottawa’s hair. Toronto, too mature and sophisticated for such childish behaviour, went indoors and watched Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.

After Macleans finally provided proof in a previous issue that Canadians are better than Americans, I was feeling pretty smug. Superior. Arrogant (American, almost). But it doesn’t matter if we’re richer and healthier: we crap in the ocean.

Sure, if we were American, we would be nobly crapping in the ocean to provide a source of methane gas to underwater vents. We would be crapping in the name of Freedom and patriotically slow-motion rippling flags. But it’s still pretty embarrassing that Victoria clearly didn’t sign the Charter of Not Being Repulsive.

But really, why waste so much money on plumbing? It would be less expensive to set up toilet paper stations along the beach.

Yup. I would hate to be a fish in Victoria.


Holy crap: Victoria’s pitching a loaf

  1. This is a weird article and I’m not sure how it relates to education. Unless you’re trying to suggest that perhaps the reason that legislators in Victoria are making so many “crappy” decisions around post-secondary education is because they are swimming in it. But anyways, you’ve got your facts wrong. The problems is much more pronounced than just Victoria. Montreal flushes a total of 3.6 billion litres of raw sewage into the river and Saint John, N.B. emits 6.6 billion litres of untreated effluent a year into the Saint John River and the Bay of Fundy.


    Oh yes, and let’s not forget about Halifax:


  2. The sewage treatment debate has been going along in Victoria for several months (years?) now. Despite how unseemly it may seem, in reality, there is a significant body of evidence to suggest that the current system for dealing with sewage in Victoria does not have any significant effect on the environment, and that building a treatment facility would have negligible effects for significant costs. It would be purely cosmetic.

    This position is shared by a wide variety of specialists at the University of Victoria, included noted oceanographers, biologists, and former national environment minister David Anderson (’93-’05). rstv.ca discusses this in detail.

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