Today I stumbled upon a pretty hilarious blog that showcases what have to be some of the most ridiculously bad examples of student writing out there. Shit My Students Write describes itself as “evidence of the true cost of educational funding cuts,” though doesn’t specify whether the writing quoted is the work of university or high school students. The site gives readers the opportunity to submit their own examples anonymously, so it’s hard to tell where they are coming from. Regardless, I have to give props to whoever was tasked with grading this work, and had the idea to share the worst of it online.
Here are some my favorite quotes posted on the site over the past few weeks:
“Macbeth couldn’t have loved Lady Macbeth because he was crazy and too busy hallucinating witches and stuff.”
“I could blame my results on other factors, like it was the day after Friday when I took it and I had just finished listening to Rebecca Black.”
“There are many different races of bagels.”
“It was started by some famous dead guy.”
“I felt so guilty because I realized I was aiding in the bedding of a criminal.”
“The colonists won because they were better, duh!”
“A mountain could be a symbol of the book. The mountain could represent the mountains.”
“Its not really plagiarism as it was exactly what I was going to write anyway.”
This should serve as a warning to students everywhere: not only will bad writing get you poor grades, it may also end up being mocked on the internet.