A frozen piece of heaven (or hell): The Dessert Poutine - Macleans.ca
 

A frozen piece of heaven (or hell): The Dessert Poutine


 

Paul Patates has lived on the same corner in the Montreal neighbourhood of Pointe St Charles for 52 years. It’s an enduringly popular spot, mostly because it does the simple things right: hand cut fries, house brewed spruce beer, steamés with just the right rubbery-weiner-meets-soggy-bun goodness. In a time of tiresome poutine haute cuisine–foie gras! Merguez sausage!–Paul’s is a lesson in straightforward perfection: pile of fries and a bag of curd cheese, topped with hot, fresh gravy. It does what a good poutine is supposed to do: thoroughly indulge that evil little part of your brain that craves salt, grease and decadence.

Which brings us to the dessert poutine, the subject of DMA’s very occasional and totally irregular summertime foodie diversion.

The restaurant began offering this absurdity in June. Owner Dany Roy says it was invented by the folks at Taylor Ice Cream Machines, apparently to capitalize on Quebec’s obsession with its signature dish. It is marketed by dairy behemoth Québon and sells for $5.60. “Quebecers are crazy about poutine,” Roy says. “We dream about it.”

Like bagels from Toronto and governors from Alaska, the dessert poutine makes no sense whatsoever, yet is just as car-crash compelling to fathom. Start with a thick swirl of soft serve ice cream, add chocolate wafer sticks (fries!), miniature marshmallows (cheese curds!), Cracker Jack popcorn, (er, gravy stained cheese curds?) and smother it in caramel sauce, the sugary approximation of Paul’s poutine gravy. In the above picture, Patates waitress Loretta presents the dessert. “Sometimes people get a poutine for lunch and then a poutine for dessert,” Loretta, who seems to know better herself, says. “It’s mostly guys.”

The dessert poutine tastes like a tarted up caramel sundae, and goes down  so quick you almost forget about how much you’re going to hate yourself in an hour. Which is what a good poutine is supposed to do, come to think of it.


 
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A frozen piece of heaven (or hell): The Dessert Poutine

  1. LOL I love poutine…but I think I'll skip this.

  2. This is a classic example of irresponsible journalism causing (or at least enabling) social harm. Patriquin's endorsement of poutine as a dessert is just as unethical as the endorsement of a journalist promoting the joys of chain-smoking, or heavy drinking.

    Doesn't Patriquin realise that poutine-related cardiovascular disease is one of the leading causes of death in Quebec?

    Franchement!

      • The article you link to doesn't even mention poutine. Can we therefore assume that Montreal's happiness has nothing to do with that dreadful snack/dessert?

        • PLEASURE is what makes Montreal a happy city and poutine is a great source of pleasure…although all things in moderation of course :)

          • Can't argue with that! ;-)

    • "Doesn't Patriquin realise that poutine-related cardiovascular disease is one of the leading causes of death in Quebec?" Really? I seriously doubt there is any reliable statistics showing this. Cardiovascular disease in Québec is more likely cause by fried eggs, bacon, butter…

      And Patriquin isn't endorsing poutine as a dessert, he's endorsing an ice-cream sundae called "Dessert Poutine" as a dessert. There is a difference.

      • I assure you that my tongue was planted firmly in my cheek. I enjoyed Patriquin's piece.

    • YOU, irresponsible, total IDIOT ! Stop spreading WRONG interpretations.

      You can't read properly, it looks like… No one has been pushed to self-destruction by Poutine Consumption, every day, from January to December. It just says that, sometimes, it's great to just… LIVE.

      Of course, you wouldn't know what THAT means… and, by-the-way… you're gonna die too, Poutine, or no Poutine (and maybe as soon as Tomorrow, who knows?), so, get off your stiff, white horse, Crusader…

      … Or, rather, STAY on it, and get lost in the sunset, while the rest of us have fun throwing our corsets out the window, at least once a week.

      Oh! And don't forget to renew your Anti-Stupidity Insurance… see what happens when you miss a payment?

      Francine Dozois, Montreal

      • Okay, Crit_Reasoning… you got me!

        Francine Dozois

  3. “Sometimes people get a poutine for lunch and then a poutine for dessert,” Loretta, who seems to know better herself, says. “It's mostly guys.”

    It's possible the guys really like the dessert poutine, awful though it sounds. But judging from the photo I'd have to say it's also possible the guys just really like Loretta.

  4. I would try it, no doubt about it, soft ice cream good, chocolate covered wafers good, marshmallows good, cracker jack popcorn good and caramel sauce real good, mmmm….

    • Scrapping the mandatory long form and now a dessert poutine? Is nothing sacred in this country?

      • Hahaha, it's Harper's way to distract us from his world domination…

        • Sort of a Pinky-and-the-Brain kind of dominance?

          Which is he?

          • Hahaha, I would say a mixture of both, highly smart but equally dumb!

  5. "Like bagels from Toronto… the dessert poutine makes no sense whatsoever…"

    Hear, hear. Terrible, flavour-free, joyless bagel-looking things, Toronto bagels are little more than stale Wonder brand hamburger buns with a hole in the middle.

  6. Mmmm, poutine.

    I live in SK, where poutine includes mozza cheese instead of curds (boo), but just got back from driving through Quebec on the old river highway — beautiful, do it, stay in Kamouraska — where I had the best poutine EVER in Levis. With lovely chunks of bbq chicken on it. MMMMmmmm. poutine.

    • What we call mozzarella is a travesty anyway.

  7. Patchouli, you sound like Hommer Simpson, lol….mmmmmm, bear…..