‘Cadaverous’ Oscars were ‘history’s worst’

Some words on Sunday’s Oscars, presented with little context: “a Crystal-meth nightmare“; “cadaverous, a depressing slog“; “shopworn“; “flat … dated and stale“; “awkward“; “increasingly desperate“; “awfully boring“; J Lo’s left nipple.”

The reviews, in other words, were not kind. Everything about the ceremony felt dated, most agreed, from Billy Crystal’s tired schtick to the love shown period peans The Artist and Hugo. But hating the Oscars for being old, tired and stale is like slamming Jersey Shore for lacking class. You know what you’re getting from the Academy; if you don’t like it, watch something else.

And there were some fine moments Sunday. Emma Stone was game, loveable and wacky. Chris Rock, Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis: all pretty great. Canada’s Christopher Plummer won for his role in The Beginners, which will hopefully lead more people to see the lovely, under-looked film. And the whole Cirque de Soleil thing awed my admittedly easily wowed brain.

As for the winners, well, if you look to the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences for advice on what to see, good luck to you. These are, after all, the people who anointed Crash and A Beautiful Mind. So take the following with a grain of salt. Six thousand very old, very white Californians consider them the very best from the year now past:

  • Best PictureThe Artist
  • Best Actor: Jean Dujardin, The Artist
  • Best Actress: Meryl Streep, The Iron Lady
  • Best Supporting Actor: Christopher Plummer, Beginners
  • Best Supporting Actress: Octavia Spencer, The Help
  • Best Director: Michel Hazanavicius, The Artist
  • Best Animated ShortThe Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore
  • Best Short DocumentarySaving Face
  • Best Live Action ShortThe Shore
  • Best Original ScreenplayMidnight In Paris
  • Best Adapted ScreenplayThe Descendants
  • Best Original Song: “Man Or Muppet,” The Muppets
  • Best Original ScoreThe Artist
  • Best Visual EffectsHugo
  • Best Animated FeatureRango
  • Best Documentary FeatureUndefeated
  • Best Sound MixingHugo
  • Best Sound EditingHugo
  • Best Film EditingThe Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
  • Best MakeupThe Iron Lady
  • Best Costume DesignThe Artist
  • Best Art DirectionHugo
  • Best CinematographyHugo



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‘Cadaverous’ Oscars were ‘history’s worst’

  1. “Six thousand very old, very white Californians” Ageist and racist. Or was the author simply being hip?

    • On the subject of racism and ageism, I would like to point out that the only two times I noticed a standing ovation was when Octavia Spencer (a black woman) and Christopher Plummer (an 82-year-old man) won.

      Just sayin’…

      • According to the LA Times, 94 per cent of academy members are white and 86 per cent are over 50. I don’t think I was being either ageist or racist by pointing that out. I was also wasn’t suggesting the academy itself is racist, just massively demographically out of touch. 

        •  Richard, people enter Academy as WORKING ARTISTS, not as delegates from the Council On Affirmative Action.
          That’s how they get in. They then vote for the artists who they think do the best job.What a sexist, racist, misogynist, classicist, colonialist, and imperialist idea!  

    • Could be Arnie’s wine collection.

  2. Most people like it that way. Short, to the point, respectful with a few jokes here and there.  As for the Grammy’s disrespect for most Americans and Canadians to please the 2% corrupt in society…… I will not read or watch anything to do with them. ( I am no fan of the Catholic Church but there are many pious and giving people in the Church that were hurt and insulted for no reason but a sick attempt to entertain. Some of the best of us call themselves Catholic and have sacrificed and offered more to society than all the members who voted in the grammies put together. They should hang their heads in shame. However, I thought the Academy had a great rack of movies. I even look forward to watching some of them!

  3. I watched the Oscars and then apologized to my wonderful
    6 year old Doberman Rico for not taking him for a walk. It would
    Have been time well spent . Watching middle aged actors watching each other as if their mere presence was enough to make it worth watching was not worth it. But like watching a train wreck in slow motion I will one day be able to tell my grand kids what the real Oscars were like back in the 60s and 70s: classy, fascinating and pure entertainment. Most but not all actors are closer to being the dog in The Artist rather than Christopher Plummer or Meryl Streep.

  4. In point of fact, The Artist is a brilliant artistic accomplishment that works as a self-referential parody and re-establishes craft as a criterion of success, while emphasising  ensemble work over the star system. For that reason, its success is a remarkable departure for Hollywood.
    This article is a stereotypical reaction from a stereotypical and contemporary journalist. All part of the effort to undermine the quality tradition in cinema, undermine the Academy as a craft association, and replace it with Affirmative Action, as  defined by feminist academics.
    How many fem-dominated writers went out last year, raised millions in high-risk dollars, and made quality cinema that brought art-house standards to the mainstream, while not not just stroking the right political prejudices? I thought not. Don’t worry, though, it won’t last. Next year, another trashy Oscar for Hilary Swank.     

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