Eating moose poo could happen to anyone


justinressell/Flickr (with added illustration by J. Allen)

Did you hear about those Grade 8 kids in Manitoba who got tricked into eating moose poo on a school canoe trip? One young man had to run to the river and rinse out his mouth, once he realized it wasn’t the delicious trail mix-like snack of berries and grass that AN ADULT promised it to be. Another victim, a girl, had trouble getting the poo out of her braces.

Getting tricked into eating poo could happen to anyone. One time Stevie Hancock up the street told me that those little tasty looking nubs in the cage of his pet rabbit were chocolate-covered raisins. “Why not?” I thought. Another time, someone tricked me into eating tempeh, a soy-based protein source popular among vegans. Gross!

What I’m trying to say is that I hope these kids don’t feel so bad. People have always eaten pretty crazy stuff throughout history. The Romans? Whatever! I’m talking  peacock tongues and flamingo brains!

And in modern times, too. Like duck fetus eggs and bird’s nest soup, like donkey penis and bull testicles, like rodents and tarantulas. Like tuna eyeballs. TUNA EYEBALLS! They’re as big as a tennis ball!

So buck up, kids. Next to escamoles–the larvae of giant black ants that are often stuffed into tacos, with a little “guac”–moose poo doesn’t sound half-bad.


Eating moose poo could happen to anyone

  1. You being inherently gullible, and as such, used to getting fooled, doesn’t make the actions of those who would deliberately seek to humiliate others any better.

    Just as attempting to justify someone getting kicked in the stomach with examples of how people get injured and maimed all over the world, and ending with, “So hey, getting kicked in the stomach isn’t so bad, right?” is pathetic, so is this.

    • Very true. However, pointing out to other gullible folk, especially kids, that you are not alone, this is not something that happened because you were especially stupid, or in some other way make it the fault of the fooled rather than lay the blame where it belongs, is a compassionate and pleasant thing to do. Not justification for the “jokers”; empathy for the victims.

  2. The way the joke is supposed to go: You secretly drop a few chocolate covered raisins on the ground, say, “Oh, look, rabbit droppings. Did you know that they’re delicious!” And then pop them into your mouth to totally gross out your companions. No harm done. This action by the adults of the group is reprehensible and not remotely funny.

    • The reality of it is that this is just a really really shitty story. Regardless of how you want to slice and dice it.

  3. Allen I hope that you have kids and they are pranked! Maybe then you’ll understand why this was wrong, especially since adults did this to kids.

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