Election truth or dare

Sigh

A federal election looms ever closer after Liberal Leader Stéphane Dion told Prime Minister Stephen Harper he’s too busy to meet for two weeks, a delay a government official said could be the trigger for a vote…

Harper has been seeking to meet with the other leaders to discuss common ground on policy issues before the minority Parliament resumes sitting on Sept. 15. NDP Leader Jack Layton has a tentative meeting with Harper set for Saturday. Bloc Québécois Leader Gilles Duceppe said yesterday he couldn’t meet with Harper until Sept. 5 at the earliest.

But it was Dion and the Liberals who were in the crosshairs yesterday as the Tories claimed frustration at their inability to meet with the Opposition leader…

“It stretches all credibility to say that one doesn’t have time in a three-week period to take a phone call,” the official said in an interview yesterday…

A source close to the Prime Minister said Dion was, like, totally avoiding him in the halls and stuff. “Ohmigod, it’s like sooo obvious. He can deny it, but it’s all over school.”

A Liberal offiicial, speaking on condition of anonymity, was like “no way.” The Prime Minister, according to the source, was like “yes way.”

At a hastily convened press conference, Dion suggested he had math fifth period and could see the Prime Minister then, but that after that he had a chem lab that he was “totally freaked out about.”

Harper countered that there was no way he was going to end it, that if Dion wanted to end it he should call him

Etc. Etc.




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Election truth or dare

  1. But what if Harper has cooties?

  2. Does anyone know when Harper’s press conference is supposed to be today? I want to make sure I’m not stuck in gym class myself.

  3. I am going to go out on a limb and say this will be my favourite blog entry of the week. Totally.

  4. Andrew, your likening the current behaviour of federal politicians to the social structure of high school students is likely to expose this latter group of Canadians to contempt. As soon as anyone will be kind enough to teach them how to read and write, their first class project next week will be the completion of eleven HRC forms. No, class, not C-O-I-N, look again at the pre-printed example, it’s C-O-Y-N-E. No, Jimmy, “Coyne” is the name of the Respondent, you are the complainant…

  5. Time to just meet in the playground and duke it out.

  6. At which point the rest of us will assuredly form a circle chanting “fight! fight!”

    And then who is to blame for their behaviour?

  7. Dion’s outside behind the Gym asking Iggy to protect him from Big Bad Stevie who has been picking on him again. Bobby offers the two a doobie to chill with but Dion claims that it just makes him feel paranoid. Iggy offers to protect him but it will cost a pack of cigarettes!

  8. A perfect encapsulation. Harper, if you want an election, just call a d*mn election. None of this nonsense that doesn’t fool anyone – “Dion is obstructing the country’s business because he won’t meet with me”. Just call the election! After all, it is not as if there is any law against calling an election whenever you want, instead of at fixed times.

  9. It’s hilarious that Harper still can’t do a thing without blaming it on the Liberals or claiming that the Liberals did the same thing. Someone ought to tell him the Conservatives are in power.

  10. High school students are far more mature.

  11. Next thing you know, one of the parties will start resorting to cartoon characters to substitute for substantive policy arguments….

  12. If that Harper boy isn’t also suing the school board for giving him an F in ethics and autoshop, maybe his whining about those nasty other kids would be almost believable.

  13. Very funny post.

    Harper running scared. Harper the coward.

    My how times have changed…

  14. The Old Dion:

    “Me, I wanted an election yesterday. But my caucus are a bunch of nervous nellies, and so being a collegial kind of guy, I let them get their way. But you just watch me. The time will come soon when I will take that evil climate change denier Bush-puppet down”

    The New Dion:

    “Somebody answer the phone. It could be Harper again. Tell him I’m walking Kyoto. But don’t tell him where … Shoot, someone is at the door. If it’s Harper, keep him occupied while I duck downstairs …”

  15. excellent post. More please (since there won’t be any lack of material to work with in the next month)

  16. It’s funny, Harper is the supposed “master strategist” and Dion “not a leader”, yet Harper claims to be so UTTERLY VEXED by his inability to meet with Dion NOW that he seems convinced that he must simply throw his hands up in the air and dissolve Parliament.

    Parliament was merrily working away for over two years, passing plenty of legislation, and yet now, when Parliament’s NOT EVEN IN SESSION, the mere refusal of the Opposition Leader to throw out his schedule and meet with the PM right away is cause to throw in the towel.

    And let’s not forget that the purpose of the meeting is for Harper to insist that Dion agree to PRE-APPROVE the Tory agenda BEFORE Parliament even reconvenes. To agree to make Parliament irrelevant, and THEN he’ll let Parliament reconvene.

    Harper’s difficulties with “Parliamentary dysfunction” appears to actually be a difficulty with “Parliamentary democracy”. He’s not worried that the House isn’t working (how can he tell, it’s not even sitting right now!). He’s upset at the notion that Parliament exercise any power at all. He’s CERTAINLY not going to let Parliament reconvene if there’s a remote chance the opposition parties won’t do what they’re told. He wants to first establish that Parliament is unnecessary (by having the Opposition agree to simply rubber stamp his agenda ahead of time) and then, after the other leaders PROMISE to let him have his way and do whatever he says; THEN he’ll let Parliament reconvene.

    One gets the feeling Harper’s preferred move isn’t to force an election. It seems to me he’d much prefer simply removing Parliament from our system of governance all together!

  17. All this is very funny. When the premiers of our provinces wanted a meeting, Harper was unavailable. When the convention on AIDS dearly wanted a sign from our so-called leader, he went photo-op dogsledding. When the media was invited to attend a photo op in London, they were told that the 10-second stop would not allow for questions.
    Now he’s saying Meet with me or I’m calling Mommy!
    Somebody get baby Harper a bottle.

  18. Harper: C’mon Dion, I double dare you.
    Dion: Sacre bleu. Quick Kyoto, sic him!
    Harper: Forget Kyoto. Your chow can’t save you now!
    Dion: Iggi, Rae-Rae?
    Iggi: At first I approved of this war with the Tories, but now I’ve changed my mind, what with us having no money, no leader, and no ideas.
    Rae: I have an idea, let’s turn Canada socialist; did anyone watch my interview with Peter Mansbridge on CBC? I think I made Naomi Klein cry.
    Dion: But Harper, you said you wouldn’t fight until much later.
    Harper: Yeah, well, politicians will say anything to get elected.
    Dion: Tell me about it. But speaking of Kyoto…

  19. Come on now, Andrew. Are you suggesting the press gallery flacks are more mature than the morons they cover everyday?

  20. Dion after having paid Bobby R. a pack of cigarettes to protect him from big bad Stevie who has been picking on him again meets up with Iggy and they all arch around the corner of the school gym to confront their nemesis. Both Iggy and Bobby are praising Dion’s ability to duck and cover while running around the sandbox and this fortifies Dion who is filled with resolve to end this torment. However as they turn the corner Dion looks around one last time to gather one last bit of strength from his defenders only to discover! Sacre Bleu – where have they gone and alas here comes Stevie and his icy stare causes Dion to panic .. but what is this Stevie walks away why but why Dion just can’t figure it out! This makes no sense until he sees the note tied to the swing and it says give this message to Iggy and Bobby = you are next!

  21. The comment above by Dan in Van is good and acurate. I have met the Prime Minister once when he announce at the last minute that he was comming to my town during a snowstorm. (I did not go because I support him rather I wanted to meet the man that represented me and my fellow Canadians)
    Not only were people unable to get to see him, he was also able to control the media and venue he was in. Conviently, the media room was only able to hold reports and camera crews and space for the public was limited to about 10 people. Not that anyone had an opportunity to speak to him other than media because he was only accepting questions from them. After his media blitz was over I left only to see him leaving the building out the back door to go to his bus. I mean what is this saying about the man who is our Prime Minister?
    Mr. Haper’s entire series of dramas in parliment over the last year is a display of his contempt for our Canadian democracy. He has at almost every opportunity given, try to force the opposition to bring him down so that he can blame the disfunction of parliment upon them.
    I mean really Mr. Harper and his fellow Conservatives; or may I correctly say NEW Conservatives, you know the ones that arose from the ashes of the reform and old conservative party, are changing Canada in a direction that many Canadians including myself do not approve of. You know corporate America.
    Also you have to say the timing of this all is very convient to that Mr. Harper is trying to force an election before the November election in the United States. Because as it seems the Bush party looks like it is on its way out and that will have an impact upon how Canadians vote. And if Bush fails, Mr. Haper must know that his days are numbered too.

  22. All this is way too complicated. I just think Harper’s meds are off.

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