Fatherly Advice - Macleans.ca

Fatherly Advice


According to Valerie Bertinell, before Eddie Van Halen took their son Wolfgang out on tour, he did his best Polonius-to-Laertes impression:

“But he did say a lot of the same things that I thought. He said, ‘Be careful with your heart. When you do give it away have patience and kindness… and be careful of the skanks and w**res; they’re gonna want you because you’re in Van Halen!’ That’s it. He’s a really terrific dad, he really is.”

Be careful with your heart. Be careful of the skanks. That’s lyrics, dude.

UPDATE: Oh, what the heck, it’s Friday:


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Fatherly Advice

  1. "and be careful of the skanks and w**res"

    That's terrible advice for a budding rock star. "skanks and w**res" is exactly what Wolfgang will be hoping to come across on tour.

    How can Wolfgang be the Ice Cream Man if he is avoiding all the ladies?

  2. Because if he's not careful with his Eruptions, The Cradle Will Rock.

  3. Why can you say "skanks" but not "whores?"

  4. As far as I can tell, he's still free to mingle with strumpets, harlots and slatterns, so he should be fine.

  5. I just cutted-and-pasted from the Canoe website. Weird bit of prudishness, I agree.

  6. That literally made me laugh out loud. Here's to swimming with bow-legged women.

  7. Hot For Teacher video brings back memories. When the video was released I was in Grade 7 and I really hoped my french teacher, mlle Currier, would be inspired by video.

  8. I wasn't even born yet in 1984 old man.

    Down with the elderly, enfeebled and withered Gen-Xer's!

  9. Comic Gold!!!!

  10. Eddie Van Halen, the Alan Alda of Guitar Gods.

    Such a weird quote, it veers between a Phil Collins and Guns and Roses lyric.

    Anyway, did he tell him to wear a condom?

  11. hot for teacher is responsible for the spread of STDs all over the world…not a great lasting legacy i would wish on any rock band.