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Golf etiquette (or lack thereof)


 

There is no “I” in “team,” but there is certainly an “I” in “Tiger.”

Playing video games and watching TV as he recovers from season-ending knee surgery, Mr. Woods has found some time to grace us with his thogs. (Thog: a thought posted on a blog. You heard it here first, patent lawyers). In his latest entry, the world’s greatest golfer tells his loyal disciples that he was asked to be an assistant coach at this year’s Ryder Cup tournament in September. Tiger is injured, after all, so Paul Azinger, captain of the U.S. squad, figured it would be classy to offer him a token role in the much-hyped America versus Europe showdown. A nice gesture, if you ask me.

Tiger’s response? Thanks but no thanks. “I wouldn’t do it for a couple of reasons,” God wrote on his website today. “1) I’m not on the team. 2) The event should be about the competitors and the competition. The guys will have plenty on their minds and I wish them the best. I’ll be cheering loudly.”

Trust us, Tiger, your fellow countrymen won’t miss you. You’re so obsessed with breaking records, with solidifying your status as the best who ever swung, that you can’t stomach the thought of not being the center of attention. In fact, I doubt you’ll even watch the event on television, let alone “cheer loudly.” It would eat you up inside—even after three straight wins by the Europeans—to watch Phil Mickelson sink a Cup-clinching putt for the U.S. team. You’d wish it was you. Another clip for the Nike commercial.


 

Golf etiquette (or lack thereof)

  1. Mr. Friscolanti,

    As you may or may not know golf is an individual sport played by individuals, this Ryder Cup team versus team is a bunch of bullcrap, like it’s going to make any difference to the US team if Tiger is there to cheer on these below par golfers. So what he rather stay home and bang his wife all day, what’s wrong with that?

  2. Wait a second, Frisco. By not taking the offer, Tiger is actually insuring that he won’t be the centre of attention—allowing the spotlight to fall on others for a change. Think about it. As assistant coach, the cameras would have been as focused on him as the players in the fairway. Seems like he made a pretty selfless move to me.

    And another thing, what’s wrong with being obsessed with ‘breaking records’ and ‘solidifying your status as the best who ever swung?’ Isn’t that why we watch in the first place?

  3. John, John, John.
    The problem is not so much that Tiger declined. It’s the way he declined. Consider his lame statement: “I wouldn’t do it for a couple of reasons. 1) I’m not on the team. 2) The event should be about the competitors and the competition. The guys will have plenty on their minds and I wish them the best. I’ll be cheering loudly.”
    Notice what wasn’t there?
    “As much as I’m honoured by Paul Azinger’s offer, and as much as I understand that golf is a game built on tradition and sportsmanship and camaraderie, I think it would be in the team’s best interest if I wasn’t there. I don’t want to be a distraction. Again, I am completely humbled that Paul would want me by his side for such an important, historic event.”
    I have no problem with a professional athlete who is obsessed with records and personal achievement. But Tiger needs to remember that he’ll be an old man one day, too, just like his idol, Jack Nicklaus. Maybe then—when he’s hitting ceremonial tee shots to kick off The Masters—will he finally realize what an honour it was to be wanted as a Ryder Cup coach way back in 2008.
    By the way, John, stay by the phone today. I think you’re Azinger’s second choice after that 119 you shot at Don Valley…

  4. That is the last big hurrah of the season. They are trying to get all the attention they can and that is great. I think Paul Azinger is absolutely the best pick for the Ryder Cup coach. Why pick on Tiger? What a great role model he has been and he has plenty of time to grow old and I doubt if he will regret anything………………

  5. I was at the Accenture match play championships yesterday when Tiger was sent home. But I was done watching him after I saw him walk across Clark’s line on the 2nd green. I guess etiquette doesn’t apply to Tiger.

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