How utterly, charmingly, quaintly, sickeningly Canadian


So, we import an Aussie from that ‘other’ enlightened former colony to pretty up the opening ceremonies. Said Aussie includes a handful of French talent almost as an afterthought, illuminating what we all know to be true: only on paper is Canada an officially bilingual country. Quebec media freaks out, English Canada freaks out at this freak out. This guy, this guy, these guys and, wow, this guy all find themselves saying roughly the same thing, albeit with varying degrees of rhetoric. As a result, French is quickly backloaded into the closing ceremonies, likely prompting more of the above.

Canada: kingdom of the mutually aggrieved.

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How utterly, charmingly, quaintly, sickeningly Canadian

  1. I think it was a mistake to even pretend they were reflecting the nation in any comprehensive way,. Someone with no knowledge of Canada would walk away thinking we were a nation of drunken fiddlers, ruled by the Firstt Nations, and geographically characterized by mountains, trees, and wheat – lots of wheat.

    The First Nations component was inspired. And if you like wheat fields, it was the night you've been waiting for all your life.

    But there's a long line of those overlooked. Heck, at least some attempt was made to reflect our French heritage. Ontario and Alberta were like the parents asked to drop the kids off a few blocks away from school – so the other regions' friends didn't have to see us.

    But at least we can all agree that wheat was well represented. I'm kind of surprised the corn lobby hasn't kicked up a fuss.

    • I think it was barley but who cares. I thought it was good entertainment. We are a nation of whiners and nitwits.

      • Barley? Well that changes everything.

        • Barely, for me.

          • I'm soy embarassed, to be honest.

          • I thought part of the ceremony was blé.

          • It chaffed me, too.

          • I was amaized by the whole thing.

          • What I thought it lacked was someone draped in red, playing a fife.

          • oy, you guys are having a stow day?

          • Complaints aside, I was happy to grain and bear it.

          • I had to mustard up the courage to stick to the field scene to see what came next.

          • We should go easy on them. They've taken enough flax as it is.

          • So long as we avoid bulgar language.

          • It's Vancouver. It should've been hemp.

          • Canola you guys stop making these terrible puns?

          • Things must be real silo on Macleans today to get a thread that combines a whole slough of puns like this.

          • Rye not?

          • Thanks! It was getting cereally annoying.

          • Right! It just bran on and on.

          • I didn't kasha the hull thread, but the parts I saw definitely made me grain.

          • Stop, you're milling me!

          • Manu're sensitive!

          • I laughed so hard my sides acre!

          • As soon as we run out of germ-ane material.

          • LOP! (Laughing out Plowed?)

          • You are inporrigeable.

          • I try to rice to the occasion.

          • Proof that people on this thread have very fertile imaginations.

    • This thread is about to buy the farm. Hey-o!

      Seriously, though, thanks. Absurdity should always be met with absurdity. Or at least really bad puns.

      • Yep, the best way to stem it is to just mow it down with corny humour.

        • Keep up the cutting remarks.

  2. There was not enough French at the opening ceremony. Period.

    That is the official position of the Government of Canada, on behalf of all Canadians. Period.

  3. We're glutens for punishment.

    • At least it's better than all the floury speeched from the Opening Ceremony.

  4. Best chuckle I've had in ages. Thanks.

  5. I still don't get Gretzky standing in the back of a pickup truck in the pouring rain for like 20 minutes while a bunch of excited rambunctious revellers ran along beside him ? WTF was that all about ? I seriously worried that some bobble-head was going to grab the flame. Not veery impressive.

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