Life imitates SNL - Macleans.ca

Life imitates SNL

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From The New York Times, “Investigators study tangle of clues on Fort Hood Suspect”, November 15 2009:

WASHINGTON — When Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan took his two handguns and headed for Fort Hood on Nov. 5, he left behind in his spartan apartment his new business cards. Now they are one more clue for investigators of the 13 killings he is charged with, hinting at the road not taken.

On the cards, ordered over the Internet after Major Hasan was transferred to the sprawling Texas base in July, the 39-year-old psychiatrist omitted the rank he had achieved in the Army he had served for most of his adult life. Instead, he included the cryptic abbreviation “SoA,” apparently “Servant of Allah” or “Soldier of Allah,” perhaps marking a symbolic shift of allegiance from his military profession to his increasingly consuming faith.

In July, Major Hasan was sent to Fort Hood, the largest Army post, bustling with the work of war and surrounded by the scruffy trappings of an Army town: pawnshops and payday loan outlets, beer joints and tattoo parlors.

In his first weeks, Major Hasan seemed to be making long-term plans. He applied for a job as a liaison to Muslim soldiers. He printed up the business cards with his Fort Hood address for his moonlighting job as a therapist, permitted by Army rules as long as his superiors approved.

He became a regular at a Killeen mosque, frequently expounding on his view that Muslim soldiers should not be required to fight in Muslim lands. He prayed five times a day, people who knew him said. At some point, he learned he would be sent to Afghanistan.

By September, Major Hasan had purchased a handgun and had begun to visit the strip club next to the gun shop. The club’s general manager, Matthew Jones, said he stayed for six or seven hours the handful of times he visited, paying for lap dances in a private room.

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From Saturday Night Live, “The Shooting of Buckwheat”, March 19 1983:

TED KOPPEL: (voice-over)

John David Stutts graduated from Unionville High School. His classmates called him “The Loner.” Stutts was a member of the Key Club, the Audio/Visual Squad, and president of the Future Assassins of America. It’s no wonder that his classmates chose him “Most Likely to Kill Buckwheat.”

TEXXON STATION OWNER:

Sure, I remember Stutts. He was a loner, but a real hard worker. I mean, he pumped the gas, checked the oil, he washed the windows. Nice kid.

TED KOPPEL: (off camera)

Do you believe he killed Buckwheat?

TEXXON STATION OWNER:

Oh, yes, definitely. That’s all he talked about. I remember one day, I says, uh, “Stutts, why’re you working so hard?” He says, “‘Cause I’m saving up to buy a gun, so I can kill Buckwheat.” (he shrugs his shoulders)

SAUL THE TAILOR:

John was a quiet boy, a kind of a loner. But real polite. He always stood still when I hemmed his cuffs. Nice kid.

TED KOPPEL: (off camera)

Do you believe he killed Buckwheat?

SAUL THE TAILOR:

Oh, yes, definitely. That’s all he ever talked about. Why, just the other day, he comes in and he says, “Saul, make me a new suit. I’m going to kill Buckwheat and I want to look good on television.

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