NFL Playoffs: Why it sucks to be Eli Manning today - Macleans.ca
 

NFL Playoffs: Why it sucks to be Eli Manning today

Scott Feschuk and Scott Reid liveblog the Giants v. Eagles


 
  • 10:27 AM: Scott Feschuk Before we get to today’s featured attraction – Philly taking on the Giants – let’s reflect for a moment on yesterday’s playoff performance by the Tennessee Titans: two fumbles and one interception in the red zone, two hilariously botched snaps on third down, one missed field goal and 12 penalties. I’m telling you: Jeff Fisher is going to get one honey of a tax receipt for his team’s charitable contributions to Baltimore’s victory. The back judge also did his share, looking the other way on that delay-of-game call like a bought-off cop witnessing a mob hit.On the bright side, we all got to experience – possibly for the final time in a critical game – the patented Kerry Collins “Uh, We’re Down by Three and You Guys Actually Expect Me to Do Something About It? That’s Hilarious!” Face. Good times.
  • 10:43 AM: Scott Reid Owsy wowsy. Seems that someone who bet an insane amount of money on the Titans and Carolina yesterday with their smarter and better smelling partner is all crabby this bright Sunday morning.
  • 10:47 AM: Scott Reid Oops. I kinda fumbled that posting by hitting enter when i didn’t mean to. If I do it four more times, let’s change my name to Delhomme.See you at kickoff, Sandy.
  • 10:54 AM: Scott Feschuk Join us around 12:30 p.m. ET when we take to the couch, hopefully just in time to catch Terry Bradshaw violate the last of our existing verb tenses.
  • 12:38 PM: Scott Feschuk One final note about yesterday’s games: After the initial shock of the all those interceptions (henceforth known as “delhommes”), the Cardinals-Panthers game turned into a bit of a bore – but I stuck with it til the end because of Daryl “Moose” Johnston, whose colour commentary gave new meaning to the expression “duh.”Most of his “insight” focused on Larry Fitzgerald – how the Panthers really ought to maybe cover him a little better, and such. (Good thinking, Moose. Savvy.) But my favourite bit of “analysis” from the former Cowboys fullback came right after Arizona scored to make the game 27-7. Daryl’s take on the situation? He piped in urgently: “Carolina might want to make some adjustments at the half.”

    Really? They’re down 20 to a team they were favoured to beat by 10, and you think they should change what they’re doing and how they’re doing it? Obvious, considered yourself stated.

  • 12:48 PM: Scott Feschuk For those of you just tuning into the Fox pre-game show: Michael Strahan has just entered the 47th consecutive minute of maintaining the same smile. He’s closing in on record of 72 minutes, set by Tom Cruise when he last saw a photo of a shirtless Matthew McConaughey.
  • 12:53 PM: Scott Reid Nearly showtime. In one of those cute pre-game featurettes that make real football fans check out Gene Simmons Family Jewels on A&E (I’m just sayin), ESPN asked Eagles coach about the disadvantages of his playoff beard. He acknowledged that he sometimes snarls up his cheese whiz in it. (I’m not making this up). Good news though: those skinned but uncooked piglets slide down like licorice. Go Andy!
  • 12:54 PM: Scott Feschuk Welcome buddy! Question: who came up with the bright idea of making Terry Bradshaw deliver a three-minute commentary directly to the camera? The guy was winded after 75 seconds. Those words with three syllables are tricky.
  • 12:59 PM: Scott Reid twas beautiful. Jimmy Johnson made a Cannonball Run reference. Which, as everyone except Terry knows is the equivalent of being called a stupid cracker.Kickoff happens if they can raise enough money to pay Joe Buck to shut up. Come on Dominque Hickson. Let’s show you can catch that ball.
  • 1:01 PM: Scott Feschuk Given the ups and downs of the past few weeks, I can see either team winning. This game is a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped (at the insistence of Andy Reid) in a strip of delicious hickory-smoked bacon.
  • 1:03 PM: Scott Reid So far, all I know for sure is that I want to see that Liam Neeson flick CTV is plugging like mad. He’s going to beat up people in France. How can you not dig that!
  • 1:04 PM: Scott Feschuk Couch Boys exclusive – Andy Reid’s pre-game motivational speech in its entirety: “Hey, McNabb, you gonna finish that soup?”
  • 1:06 PM: Scott Feschuk Don’t you love the way Troy Aikman fake-laughs at Joe Buck’s “jokes.”
  • 1:06 PM: Scott Reid Damn you Troy Aikman. Not only did you beat me to a Chris Meyers hat joke. Yours was even lamer than mine.
  • 1:07 PM: Scott Reid Frankly, if I’m Akers and I see Bradshaw hauling ass with 70 yards of mo, I fall down and bitch about the icy field
  • 1:08 PM: Scott Feschuk I always love it when the punter has to pitch in. It would be like the batboy being told he has to get in there and steal home.
  • 1:10 PM: Scott Reid From behind, there’s no way in hell to tell you and Derrick Ward apart.
  • 1:11 PM: Scott Feschuk Casual football fans may be curious to know what we just saw there on the Eagles sideline. That was not the mythological Sasquatch — that was the Philly coach, Andy Reid. He hasn’t shaved in many days. The result: a scraggly patch of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Beard! There hasn’t been anything this unattractive in HD since that episode of Extended Closeups of Star Jones’s Thigh Fat.
  • 1:12 PM: Scott Feschuk It’s true about me and Ward. The secret is all the glute work I do.
  • 1:12 PM: Scott Reid You’re the first guy I call when I need to leg press something heavy
  • 1:13 PM: Scott Feschuk The Giants just threw on third down and the Eagles did NOT blitz. I can’t see that happening more than five times this entire game. Philly loves the blitz the way you love those slimming funhouse mirrors.
  • 1:16 PM: Scott Reid I keep one in my basement – along with a giant strawberry whirlycar, a cotton candy machine and an aging carny named Scabs.
  • 1:18 PM: Scott Feschuk David AKers could learn a lesson from Lawrence Tynes. Did you see him cover that kickoff? He got within the vicinity of the Eagles returner and suddenly veered off toward… nothing.
  • 1:19 PM: Scott Reid Commercial break! And a flip to A&E gives us a glimmer of Roadhouse – which has only been broadcast roughly 40 times in the past two weeks to hump that new Swayze TV show. Don’t listen to Ben Gazara! He’s not in it for the music or fun. He just wants a bar that makes money.
  • 1:20 PM: Scott Feschuk You can’t stop Swayze in that movie. You can only hope to contain him.
  • 1:20 PM: Scott Reid Philly has activated only five receivers in a move that analysts suggests a lot of running. So far I see a lot of not going forward any which way.
  • 1:21 PM: Scott Reid Looks windy. Nearly blew the snotty sense of superiority off of Joe Buck
  • 1:23 PM: Scott Feschuk I love it when refs throw their hats to mark a second foul on a play. What would they hurl to call a third foul? Pants? Probably pants.
  • 1:25 PM: Scott Feschuk hey, eli manning just threw a delhomme!
  • 1:26 PM: Scott Reid For sure, pants! Wouldn’t it be great to see Ed Hochuli is his briefs. Bet he’s got a super muscular crotch.
  • 1:26 PM: Scott Feschuk Eli Manning and David Akers are tied for the game lead in tackles made
  • 1:26 PM: Scott Reid Quick bet: I say the Eagles can’t get into the end zone on this turnover
  • 1:26 PM: Scott Feschuk you’re on!
  • 1:27 PM: Scott Feschuk Wager: beer
  • 1:28 PM: Scott Reid For Pete’s sake! MacNabb had fifteen minutes back there and the hold is still on the Giants?Now they get three more chances and I may have to give you beer. Good thing you already owe me enough to buy the American banking sector
  • 1:28 PM: Scott Feschuk I owe you $3?
  • 1:29 PM: Scott Feschuk Make mine a Beau’s beer!
  • 1:29 PM: Scott Reid I was thinking Brador. I know you like a meaty ale
  • 1:31 PM: Scott Reid These new Bell commercials make me want to hold someone’s head under water
  • 1:32 PM: Scott Feschuk Where do you stand on the Coors Light commercials using old coach footage. They’re so hackneyed and predictable and unimaginative, and yet I find myself enjoying them. The Jim Mora one (Playoffs?? Playoffs???) is pretty funny.
  • 1:33 PM: Scott Feschuk Joe Buck is wearing black gloves and looks like he’s the world’s only 140-pound mob hitman.
  • 1:33 PM: Scott Reid If you honestly enjoy those commercials, you need to see an internist immediately. Because obviously you’ve eaten a moron.
  • 1:34 PM: Scott Feschuk Come on! They recycle all the best coach bits: “You play to win the game!” “They are who we thought they were!” You’re just jealous because you drink Coors Light all the time yet comely college co-eds refuse to accept that you are therefore desirable.
  • 1:36 PM: Scott Reid I drink Budweiser constantly because I want on that plane with the hot stewardesses and fun dance party. Of all the places on Earth, that’s where I would fit in best
  • 1:37 PM: Scott Reid With two stingy defences and challenging weather conditions, I gotta believe this game is going to come down to which team can find a way to beat the other through the air. The crazy blitz schemes of Philly could leave them vulnerable to a big bomb and Eli seems to be looking for it.
  • 1:38 PM: Scott Feschuk The Eagles strategy seems very sound at this point. Until Eli can prove that he can complete a pass to someone in blue, they’re crowding the box and bringing tons of pressure.
  • 1:39 PM: Scott Reid That sounds so dirty
  • 1:40 PM: Scott Feschuk True. I think I just wrote a porno. Speaking of commercials, is there a worse commercial out there right now than the ads for Sprint that feature the company’s CEO walking down the street in black and white? That guy has all the charisma of a slab of marble.
  • 1:41 PM: Scott Reid Field position is so huge. I like the way this series shapes up for the Giants. If the Giants get this ball back at mid-field or better, Eli’s got to come away with at least three.
  • 1:42 PM: Scott Feschuk And they will get it back, though I think the Eagles got lucky there. McNabb holds on to the ball too long these days. He almost had that one knocked loose.
  • 1:44 PM: Scott Reid Take that back! Don’t you know anything? Since he was benched, Donovon McNabb can do no wrong. He spent part of this weak healing the lame.
  • 1:44 PM: Scott Feschuk He healed the second season of Heroes?
  • 1:44 PM: Scott Feschuk It’ll be interesting to see if the Giants start to air it out now that they’ve got the wind.
  • 1:45 PM: Scott Reid We’re on the third season, loser. Shows what you know. Plus, the addition of Peter’s father combined with the speedster really made it better.
  • 1:46 PM: Scott Feschuk The preceding sentence of mine can also be used to describe a frat house after chili night
  • 1:46 PM: Scott Feschuk I stopped watching Heroes when I realized I was neither nine years old nor mentally retarded.
  • 1:47 PM: Scott Reid You’ll take that back when I get my powers.
  • 1:47 PM: Scott Reid Coughlin always looks like some teenagers just burned across his front yard in their Dodge Charger
  • 1:48 PM: Scott Feschuk He may be the only NFL coach to still routinely use the word “whippersnapper.”
  • 1:48 PM: Scott Reid Ohhhh!!! Dammit Manning. He had them beat.
  • 1:49 PM: Scott Feschuk BUt he threw to the WRONG steve smith. the one that could have caught that pass is in carolina.
  • 1:50 PM: Scott Reid I wish I could make girls laugh like that Bud Light dude
  • 1:51 PM: Scott Feschuk the key is not being you.
  • 1:51 PM: Scott Reid You’re right. From now on, I’m going to be Sam Elliott.
  • 1:52 PM: Scott Reid I think Westbrook is over. I know the league goes ga-ga over the guy but that run is a good example. He doesn’t smell the holes anymore. He could have bounced out and he had one man to beat. Instead he runs into a concrete wall.
  • 1:52 PM: Scott Reid Safety!!!
  • 1:53 PM: Scott Feschuk The most exciting play in sports since the rouge!
  • 1:53 PM: Scott Feschuk I like this Eagles strategy of gaining approximately one yard per minute on offence.
  • 1:55 PM: Scott Reid They should have followed the Ravens gameplan: three quarterback sneaks and then punt the ball back to where you really want it – in the hands of the other team.
  • 1:55 PM: Scott Feschuk I agree in part with you about Westbrook. He’s average as a runner these days. But his value is when they get him into the open field on screens. Then he’ll still kill you (or at least he’ll kill the Vikings)
  • 1:57 PM: Scott Reid But the let it all hang in style of offence means that he only gets in the open field every time Tom Wolfe releases a new book
  • 1:59 PM: Scott Feschuk The Eagles linebackers are really containing the run well positionally – if they could actually tackle Jacobs the first time they touch him, the Giants would be going nowhere.
  • 2:00 PM: Scott Reid I’m glad to see them working some plays to Boss. The guy is money and Manning is way more dependable on shorter routes.
  • 2:01 PM: Scott Feschuk Why does Joe Buck never get excited? Remember how he called the Helmet catch in the Super Bowl (it was in a monotone). Even on a big pass play he betrays no emotion. I haven’t seen anyone seem this solemn and uninterested since 2006 when I glanced in the mirror while watching Joey.
  • 2:01 PM: Scott Reid Whatever happened to the Giant’s run blocking? Or Kelly Lynch’s acting career? They both had so much promise back in the late 80s
  • 2:02 PM: Scott Feschuk I am distressed to learn that in the Biggie Smalls biopic, the Notorious B.I.G. is being played by a rapper named Gravy. Which means i can never become a rapper and name myself Gravy.
  • 2:03 PM: Scott Reid Joe Buck is a fembot. If you remove his face plate, you can see all his switches and gears. Between games he lives in Troy Aikman’s closet. Next to Troy’s true sexuality
  • 2:04 PM: Scott Feschuk Of all the announcing teams, which would you be least surprised to discover to be gay lovers? i say buck-aikman ranks first, and gumbel-dierdorf is an unpleasant-to-imagine number two.
  • 2:04 PM: Scott Reid Just tweak it. Call yourself ‘Chicken Gray’ or ‘Gray Fingers’. Maybe ‘Gravy Boat’ – that’s what we call you
  • 2:05 PM: Scott Reid Pat Summerall is clearly the still-can’t-believe-it’s-over ex.
  • 2:05 PM: Scott Feschuk Wide right! Finally, the Bills get their revenge!!!! In your face, Giant fans!!!!
  • 2:07 PM: Scott Reid I’m glad to see the team i wagered on giving points away. I say kill Carney now and make one of the nine running backs kick field goals from here on
  • 2:08 PM: Scott Reid Westbrook shows them who’s boss again. I’m pretty sure he started to fall down before anyone hit him that time.
  • 2:09 PM: Scott Feschuk Easy, tiger. The Eagles just gained four yards. Increasing their total today to… slightly more than four yards.
  • 2:12 PM: Scott Reid Why do they wear those tiny hospital hats under their helmets. What does it help them do better? It’s not throwing the ball, apparently
  • 2:13 PM: Scott Feschuk It’s called style. Same reason you wear the ascot and bicycle shorts.
  • 2:13 PM: Scott Reid I do love my bicycle shorts. They make every muscle look huge
  • 2:14 PM: Scott Feschuk That throw from McNabb was positively Farvian. Unwise and girlish.
  • 2:16 PM: Scott Reid Very girlish. And counting on DeSean Jackson to fight for the ball is like counting on Madonna to shine on Broadway.
  • 2:17 PM: Scott Reid Jacobs rocks! I love him. I’m going to send him some scented candles.
  • 2:19 PM: Scott Feschuk Coconut. He likes the smell of coconut. By the way, I could never be an Eagles fan, and not just because I’m not 70% processed cheese. McNabb inspires no confidence back there. He takes too long to throw and he makes bad choices. And we all remember from the Super Bowl how well he manages the clock.
  • 2:21 PM: Scott Reid What the hell kind of call is that? Why don’t they just go back and say that McNabb completed his third down pass to Jackson.
  • 2:22 PM: Scott Feschuk Ridiculous! It makes no sense at all. And where was this concern for the clock yesterday during the Titans game when the play clock was at zero for about five minutes before Flacco completed that big pass (not that I’m bitter)
  • 2:23 PM: Scott Reid Not at all. But the difference is that yesterday, that play wasn’t pivotal to the outcome
  • 2:23 PM: Scott Feschuk i don’t like you
  • 2:24 PM: Scott Reid And yet you love what I can do when I sit down at a piano
  • 2:25 PM: Scott Reid Just take the field goal for Christ’s sake!!
  • 2:25 PM: Scott Feschuk Obviously. This game feels a bit like yesterday’s ravens-titans. The Giants, like the Titans, are playing better and controlling the game. Yet they’re missing opportunities.
  • 2:26 PM: Scott Reid I gotta admit, as Carney was setting to kick that ball, I was more than half worried he’d hoof it again
  • 2:28 PM: Scott Feschuk I was more preoccupied with that shot of Andy Reid going over to talk to one of his players. I think the discussion went: “It’s almost halftime.Could you run into the locker room and make sure the fondue is fired up.”
  • 2:28 PM: Scott Reid You do get the feeling that he’ll wander off the field at halftime looking for an IHOP and some offensive production – in that order
  • 2:31 PM: Scott Reid Given the point you made early, why would the Eagles not have designed a bushel full of screen plays to Westbrook to get him catching the ball on the run? Instead he just caught his first pass.
  • 2:32 PM: Scott Feschuk That’s a good question. I blame man’s inhumanity to man.
  • 2:34 PM: Scott Reid Same thing explains the decision to cancel Caroline In the City 10 years ago.The Giants D-line is getting no serious push on McNabb. That’s gotta change in the second half.
  • 2:35 PM: Scott Reid To borrow a favourite phrase of Lucy Maude Montgomery’s that call was total horseshit
  • 2:37 PM: Scott Feschuk Pretty astonishing that the Eagles are heading into the half with the lead. The swear jar in the Giants locker room is going to be filled up with quarters courtesy of Tom Coughlin.
  • 2:39 PM: Scott Reid I’m finding this game very frustrating. It feels like the Giants offence is going to have win this thing and frankly, I’m not loving what I see so far from Eli Manning.
  • 2:43 PM: Scott Reid Howie Long’s hair is remarkable. I wonder if an Olympic archer could get an arrow to pass through it.
  • 2:44 PM: Scott Feschuk Yep. And then it would bounce right off Jimmy Johnson’s hair.
  • 2:45 PM: Scott Reid It will come to a dead stop when it hits Terry Bradshaw’s humility
  • 2:51 PM: Scott Reid Jayzus. Is New York trying to lose?
  • 2:52 PM: Scott Feschuk That return was great and everything, but they accomplished it by having the blockers hold hands. KInda girly.
  • 2:53 PM: Scott Reid You and Fred Robbins run the same way. Without moving your thighs
  • 2:53 PM: Scott Feschuk Hang on a minute. Wait for it. The tremors from Robbins being tackled will hit here right about… NOW!
  • 2:54 PM: Scott Reid Jacobs again! Those candles will be loved twice as much if they come with really nice hand lotion. Looks like I’m headed to Holts
  • 2:55 PM: Scott Reid Nice catch, Ward. Your hands are those fingery things at the end of your arms
  • 2:56 PM: Scott Feschuk Tom Coughlin has the exasperated look of a man who’s had it up to here with Dennis the Menace.
  • 2:56 PM: Scott Feschuk Seven minutes after the interception, Robbins is STILL winded on the sideline. He ran 12 yards!!
  • 2:58 PM: Scott Reid You’re not multiplying that by his body mass index. When that run is calculated in relative terms, he just jogged to Delaware.
  • 2:59 PM: Scott Feschuk If Eli Manning doesn’t pick up his game, the Manning family risks starring in fewer than 100 TV commercials next season. That would be a shame.
  • 3:02 PM: Scott Reid He’s been lousy. He looks about as strong as Urkel out there.
  • 3:03 PM: Scott Feschuk “Third and 20 coming up.” I think that’s going to be the title of this game if it comes out on DVD.
  • 3:03 PM: Scott Reid Back with Chris Meyers – he looks like when he’s done with the game he’s going to paint his house
  • 3:04 PM: Scott Reid And they get it! Jeepers. These third down conversions are how McNabb kills teams.
  • 3:04 PM: Scott Feschuk Wow. What a huge play for the Eagles! McNabb escaped about 1,200 pounds of Giants to get that ball off.
  • 3:05 PM: Scott Reid Curtis should be taken off the field and made to hold his hands over an open flame. Clearly he doesn’t feel he needs them. Refs are working hard to tilt this table to the Eagles
  • 3:06 PM: Scott Feschuk Curtis apparently watched the last super bowl and came away believing all big catches ought to be made with the helmet
  • 3:07 PM: Scott Reid I’m starting to fall asleep. Maybe it’s the lack of scoring. Or the six beers before 4:00pm. Can you wake me when something dramatic happens. Like a completion.
  • 3:09 PM: Scott Feschuk Come on: this is better than an offensive battle or a defensive tussle. This is an incompetence-off!
  • 3:10 PM: Scott Reid Unreal! Another third and 10 conversion. If McNabb had any more time back there he could draw a map of New France
  • 3:11 PM: Scott Feschuk maybe donovan mcnabb is working-to-rule on first and second downs, then punching in and doing his job only when it gets to third.
  • 3:12 PM: Scott Reid In other sports news, I see the Raps just lost to the Celtics. Can’t wait for the beating your brother will lay on Toronto in tomorrow’s paper.
  • 3:14 PM: Scott Feschuk Be careful! Even the slightest rhetorical contact can cause jermaine o’neal to suffer another injury.
  • 3:14 PM: Scott Reid Finally. A third down stop.
  • 3:15 PM: Scott Feschuk Time for his union-mandated break
  • 3:16 PM: Scott Feschuk Dear David Akers: I just witnessed your two-fingered point-to-the-sky gesture after your field goal.You’re welcome,
    God
  • 3:16 PM: Scott Reid You know what the Giants should try? To score a touchdown.
  • 3:18 PM: Scott Reid “I’m Joe. That’s Troy.” We live together in gated community where we squabble over who left the sprinkler going
  • 3:19 PM: Scott Feschuk Does that make Chris Myers their housekeeper?
  • 3:20 PM: Scott Feschuk Eli! Forward pass! Completed! So exciting can’t form whole sentences!
  • 3:20 PM: Scott Reid Hixon (sorry for misspelling your name earlier dude)! Makes a catch. That counts and everything. Suddenly, it’s almost like a sporting contest.
  • 3:23 PM: Scott Feschuk What kind of a field goal will the Giants try this time? Close? Far away? Backwards?
  • 3:23 PM: Scott Reid That wasn’t really Eli’s fault. He clearly expected his receiver to be floating sixteen feet above the Earth
  • 3:25 PM: Scott Reid Ward seems to slipping into role-player status. That role being ball dropper.
  • 3:25 PM: Scott Feschuk Joe: “How’d you like this big body headed towards you? Brandon Jacobs”
    Troy: “I wouldn’t.”
    So we’ve established that their relationship is monogamous.
  • 3:26 PM: Scott Reid That exchange caught my notice as well. I thought there was a hint of tension belying it. As in, “I wouldn’t – what are you driving at?””Well, I’m not the one who flirts with the drycleaner – always asking what his tattoos mean”

    “Let’s talk about this when we get home and into our comfy clothes”

  • 3:28 PM: Scott Reid So in a game where no one seems to be able to compile yardage much less points, the Giants have now sacrificed six points to missed field goals. Combined with their habit of granting third down conversions, I’m feeling nervous
  • 3:29 PM: Scott Feschuk On the bright side, the Giants sideline will soon be warmed by the spontaneous combustion of Tom Coughlin.
  • 3:31 PM: Scott Reid The refs decide to interfere in the game again. They’re just like the government or public intoxication laws. Always getting in my way.
  • 3:32 PM: Scott Feschuk You should write a letter to the editor. Those things get results.
  • 3:33 PM: Scott Reid I can’t believe there’s a whole quarter left to go. It feels like this game began just after the start of the Bronze Age
  • 3:35 PM: Scott Feschuk Don’t you love it when announcers refer to “this game being a physical battle”? Like other NFL games are resolved via debate and negotiation.
  • 3:37 PM: Scott Feschuk Like the Titans and Panthers, the Giants deserve to lose this game. The trend doesn’t bode well for the Steelers.
  • 3:37 PM: Scott Reid A touchdown? Wow. I remember my grandpa talking about those.
  • 3:40 PM: Scott Reid I would rather eat a bag of roofing nails then attend a Keith Urban concert
  • 3:42 PM: Scott Feschuk Makes sense. The nails will eventually pass through you, but country music is permanent.
  • 3:42 PM: Scott Reid Bad spot. It’s not Eli’s failed passing. It’s the referees
  • 3:47 PM: Scott Reid God help me. I agree with Troy Aikman. I would have just gone for it. No challenge. Time outs will matter if you’re trying to win this game. Of course, I only assume the Giants are trying to win. The hard evidence isnt exactly piling up.
  • 3:48 PM: Scott Feschuk That was a pretty fraidy-cat attempt at a quarterback sneak by eli. he pushed forward with all the momentum of a lobbed marshmallow.
  • 3:49 PM: Scott Reid It’s really time for a tunover if you’re a New York fan.
  • 3:52 PM: Scott Feschuk Soon it will be time for Jack Daniels if you’re a new york fan
  • 3:53 PM: Scott Reid They’ve got to score on this drive. If they don’t then…well, then the world just end and I’ll never be able to show my face at high school again
  • 3:54 PM: Scott Feschuk Can i have your locker? I like that it’s closer to the bathroom.
    By the way, where are all the cutaways to Archie Manning? Doesn’t his contract call for at least three shots of him in a private box during each of his sons’ games.
  • 3:56 PM: Scott Reid Usually sharing a chicken wing with Nelson Mandela. Why? Why? Why? If you needed three yards would you run sideways? Arrrggghh
  • 3:56 PM: Scott Feschuk What kind of a call was that on third down??? Running parallel to the line of scrimmage until you run out of room. Brilliant!
  • 3:57 PM: Scott Feschuk hey, we had the same thought just now. just like when we knew hannah montana was going to be huge.
  • 3:57 PM: Scott Reid The Giant’s O-line has lost this game. They’ve just gotten beat in all the tough battles
  • 3:58 PM: Scott Feschuk With the exception of Jacobs, they’ve all done their part. Bad running decisions, bad quarterbacking, bad playcalling.
  • 3:59 PM: Scott Reid Bad breath. Bad manners. Bad failing to plan for rain even though the sky was clear when we left. Yep, they suck
  • 4:01 PM: Scott Feschuk Can you believe that Arizona is going to HOST the NFC championship?
  • 4:02 PM: Scott Reid I can’t believe that Arizona has an NFL team. I can’t believe Kid Rock has a career. And I can’t believe how utterly shitless the Giants have been.
  • 4:03 PM: Scott Feschuk Well, it’s still a two-touchdown game. All they need to do is score two touchdowns. Which should be a cinch so long as there’s 120,000 minutes left in the fourth quarter
  • 4:04 PM: Scott Reid It’s time to start throwing for the helmet
  • 4:04 PM: Scott Feschuk I’m not saying it’s over, but Andy Reid has officially started bracing himself to be doused with a Gatorade jug filled with special sauce.
  • 4:06 PM: Scott Reid Andy Reid is the only coach who can be drowned in gatorade and still keep the family of illegal immigrants living under his breasts dry as a bone
  • 4:07 PM: Scott Feschuk They gained three yards on that pass. Just 25 more passes to the end zone!
  • 4:07 PM: Scott Reid Toomer! Haven’t heard his name all day. I thought he’d been traded for a goalie and future prospects
  • 4:09 PM: Scott Feschuk Eli, Eli, oh.
  • 4:09 PM: Scott Feschuk What do you think McNabb and Westbrook are discussing in the huddle?
  • 4:09 PM: Macleans.ca Macleans.ca liveblog – NFL playoffs: Giants vs Eagles liveblog
  • 4:10 PM: Scott Reid Season 4 of Battlestar Galactica – what else?
  • 4:11 PM: Scott Feschuk I thought i recognized them from the 2007 Tulsa Star Trek convention.
  • 4:11 PM: Scott Reid Picking up the phone? That’s a dick of a thing to do – isn’t it?
  • 4:14 PM: Scott Feschuk Eli – your team is wearing blue. BLUE!
  • 4:15 PM: Scott Reid I think there might be something wrong with his vision. Or his frontal lobe
  • 4:16 PM: Scott Feschuk By picking up the phone, McNabb gave talk radio hosts the gift of 400 hours of extensive coverage of the “incident.” Take it and run with it, Jim Rome!
  • 4:17 PM: Scott Reid Oh that darn ball. Not quite round. Not quite rectangular. So hard to hold when you’re a Giant.
  • 4:18 PM: Scott Feschuk Time to pack it in, partner – exactly three hours after the Giants began packing it in. What a gruesome performance.Eagles! Cardinals! WTF?
  • 4:19 PM: Scott Reid Well sister, with 58 seconds to go this game is done like dinner (officially Andy Reid’s favourite saying). It’s been durn fun. But I’m a signin’ off, rabbitt.I have no idea who to root for in that NFC Championship
  • 4:21 PM: Scott Feschuk -30-

 
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NFL Playoffs: Why it sucks to be Eli Manning today

  1. What works better? A quarter or a loonie? (only reply if you think your lead at this point is insurmountable – don’t want Reid to catch up)

  2. Scarlett Johansson (actress)actually is a clone from original person,who has nothing with acting career.Clone was created from stolen biomaterial.Original Scarlett Galabekian last name is nice,CHRISTIAN young lady.Clones(not 1)made in GERMANY,leader manufacturer of humans clones,it’s in Ludwigshafen am Rhein,N.Bavaria,Mr.Helmut Kohl home town,they spreading globaly NAZI type disciplined and mind controlled,be careful get close you’ll be controlled too.Original family didn’t authorize activity with stolen biomaterials,it’s all should go to Cedars-Sinai MedCenter in LA.Controlling clones is US military operation.Original Scarlett wasnt engage,by the wy

  3. why dont you girls just talk on the phone?

  4. Or we could get together at your house – then you could braid our hair

    • your badly thinning hair

  5. Mom? Is that you?

    • does feschuk call you daddy?

  6. Only when I twist his nurples

  7. Did the Eagles not get the memo that they were up by 9? They’re snapping the ball with 8 seconds left on every down.

    Oh, Andy Reid, you’re nothing if not consistent.