The river that runs under the Chuck Norris Bridge is made from the tears of the men he’s humiliated


Presented with little comment, a plan to name a major new bridge near the capital of Slovakia after 80s action star and tired meme Chuck Norris.

From Reuters:

The actor’s work has become a popular source of kitschy fun among Slovaks and a mainstay for local jokes about macho strength and invincibility.

The final decision will be up to a regional assembly. But regional governor Pavol Freso has said it would follow the wishes of the people in the internet ballot where Norris leads as the top choice for the bridge’s name.

Norris is semi-famous for many things, including, but not limited to, the worst jetpack sequence in modern American television history.

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The river that runs under the Chuck Norris Bridge is made from the tears of the men he’s humiliated

  1. Heh. Chuck Norris jokes never get old, do they?

    Chuck Norris’ tears can cure cancer. Unfortunately, Chuck Norris never cries.
    Chuck Norris does not go hunting, because to hunt implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
    If Chuck Norris were to fight Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris would win. There would be no losers.
    If you asked Siri to call you Chuck Norris, it would say “Ok. From now on, I will call you About to Die, because that is what will happen when Chuck Norris bothers to notice.
    Chuck Norris does not need to ask Siri to call him Chuck Norris. It already knows.

    • Clint Eastwood.  Because someone has to give Chuck Norris nightmares.

    • Chuck Norris was once bitten by a deadly snake.  After three days of unimaginable pain, the snake died.

  2. Chuck Norris called yo’ mama and she come

  3. If we had a Canuck Norris, he’s take care of this Chuck Norris. Chuck the Chuck but also the Canuck.

  4. I still have the black t-shirt emblazoned with “The Hitman” Chuck gave me from when he was making that film in Vancouver in the early ’90’s.  It doesn’t fit anymore.  He was very personable and easy to talk to.  I still haven’t watched “The Hitman”.  It isn’t on my to-do list either. 

  5. Chuck Norris has a beautiful full-size bearskin rug in his livingroom. The bear’s not dead, it’s just too scared to move. 

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