A hex on your tax!

Romania is considering fining and even imprisoning clairvoyants if their predictions don’t come true

A hex on your tax!

Duncan Chard/Telegraph Media Group

Countries around the world have taken many unprecedented measures to raise funds during the global recession, but Romania may be the first to turn to witchcraft: the government just announced that it’s considering fining and even imprisoning clairvoyants if their predictions don’t come true.

This latest clampdown on witches comes a month after a new tax was introduced for the soothsayers and fortune tellers in Count Dracula’s home. Though hocus-pocus has been part of Romanian lore for centuries—some say the Romanian people have extrasensory perception since Transylvania sits on one of Earth’s strongest magnetic fields—witches were not officially acknowledged by the state until new labour laws recognized the centuries-old practice as a taxable profession in January.

These new measures brought witches to the banks of the Danube, where they dumped poisonous mandrake to cast spells on the president and parliamentarians. Other critics said the proposals were an attempt by the government to detract attention from more serious problems, such as a continually shrinking economy.


A hex on your tax!

  1. the government just announced that it's considering fining and even imprisoning clairvoyants if their predictions don't come true.

    But why didn't they see that coming?

    • With all the snowstorms in Europe, crystal balls have been whiteout!

      • Well, why didn't they see the snow coming?

        • Gosh you make my noggin hurts to think that one out! Remember the global warming prediction from Europe (how it is all man made)? Well, all the involved scientists, politicians, celebrities, media, and activists farts and CO2 output from their spoutings and travelling raising money, actually fogged/blanketed the inside and outside surfaces of those same crystal balls. Handling those ball at those times was just so yucky! Plus the ashes from Italy and Iceland's volcano erruptions did not help either, it caused too much havoc and debris floating inside those balls. Now before you ask "why didn't they see that coming too?", they were either busy being deported from France or worrying about those compatriots coming back to Romania who might steal their businesses, that looking at those crystal balls (other than immediate subsistence reasons) was not a priority. How about before that? Well, each can only afford one crystal ball – to see everthing will be so taxing if not impossible. On top of that, many can't afford to pay for its update & de/calibration. Besides, much of the secrets and know how have been kept well guarded and many have been lost along the ages, that crystall ball programming updates are just not possible…yet. Who knows with the current threat, crystal ball clarity may improve yet. Romanian government, with its officials and bureaucrats, just have to toughen it out and must swallow all those curses and hexes before they see improvements on those readings. If those do not kill them, they might actually strengthen them. Do you have any counter hexes/curses to give them for the moment's survival? As for me, I am looking for more hexes and curses to give. I might end up brooming to Australia, I need poisonous frogs and spiders in my cauldron. Oh this would be fun, I can already foresee Romania's immediate future, without looking at my own crystal ball!

  2. I think it just shows how shallow some people are when they mock something they do not completely understand. I also think that taxing something as nebulous as what these women are doing is utterly ludicrous! The government must be really, really hard up for money! What are they going to tax babies and children next?

    • The mockery of misunderstanding, for profit, is what these clairvoyants are doing to their customers, seatere

      • And you are talking from experience?

        I know you can prove a public statement such as that otherwise you would not post it… Would you mind showing me where your proof is? I am always of the opinion that unless you have clear discernible proof that something is as you allege then you can say it, otherwise it is just slander and prejudice, isn't that right?

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