You’ve got questions, we’ve got answers: here are brief replies to the top 10 most-Googled questions in Canada this week about Donald Trump.
1. When does Trump get sworn in as president?
The swearing-in ceremony begins at 11:30 a.m. Eastern time. The Chief Justice of the Supreme Court will give Trump a Bible and swear him in at noon, and then Trump will make a speech.
2. What happens if Trump is impeached?
If he got impeached and had to leave office, he would be replaced by his vice president, Mike Pence. Reporters have found that liberals fear the conventional conservative Pence as much or more than Trump, so that makes it even more unlikely that he’ll be impeached.
He’s 1.91 m tall, or about 6 feet 2 inches. That’s much taller than the 5 foot 7 inch Vladimir Putin. Which obviously means he’ll get the better of Putin in every negotiation through sheer intimidation and size. That’s shorter than the tallest president, Abraham Lincoln (6-foot-4) but taller than the shortest president, that 5-foot 4-inch loser James Madison. James Madison can’t look Trump in the eye. Sad!
4. Who is performing at the inauguration?
The most publicized performer is singer Jackie Evancho, who became moderately famous after her appearance on America’s Got Talent. Trump also rounded up country singer Toby Keith and the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, though there was some dissension in that group from members who don’t like Trump. Most big-name performers turned down the gig because they were afraid the backlash would hurt their careers.
5. How many children does Trump have?
Five: Donald Jr., Ivanka, Eric, Tiffany and Barron. Barron is the only one who doesn’t have his own Wikipedia entry… yet.
6. What does Russia have on Trump?
This depends on which story you’re reading and whether it’s been retracted in the last 24 hours. A popular recent story was that Russia is blackmailing Trump over secret sex tapes from the Ritz Carlton in Moscow, but this hasn’t been backed up with much evidence. Still, the country of Rob Ford knows that the most outrageous rumours sometimes turn out to be true.
7. Where is Barron Trump?
A lot of people wondered why Barron, Trump’s youngest child, was absent from some of the pre-inauguration events. He finally turned up in time to watch dad get sworn in. Could this be the first scandal of the Trump era? No, it’s probably that 10-year-old kids get the privilege of asking to skip the really boring stuff. That’s why it’s so good to be 10.
8. How old is Donald Trump?
Trump is 70, making him the oldest person ever to be sworn in as a first-term president; the previous winner, Ronald Reagan, was 69 when he took the oath in 1981. Though because Reagan was a throwback to the 1940s, he seemed older than he was. Trump is only a throwback to the 1980s.
9. Where was Donald Trump born?
Officially, Trump was born in a neighbourhood in Queens, New York. The name of that neighbourhood? Jamaica. Are we sure that’s not a different Jamaica? Was he really born in the country of Jamaica? We need to see his real birth certificate and find out.
10. Which celebrities support Donald Trump?
Very few; even some of the inauguration performers haven’t voiced support for him. Pro-Trump celebrities include hard-core conservatives like Jon Voigt (Midnight Cowboy), Charles in Charge star and Republican convention speaker Scott Baio, and possibly Kanye West, who said that he would have voted for Trump if he’d actually voted. This can’t compare to Hillary Clinton’s huge list of celebrity fans. Trump is probably OK with letting her have the celebrity supporters while he has the White House.