Trump talks to Putin. What could go wrong? - Macleans.ca
 

Trump talks to Putin. What could go wrong?

Scott Feschuk compiles a list of disastrous lines Trump could utter to Putin at their first meeting


 
A woman passes a billboard showing a pictures of US president-elect Donald Trump and Russian President Vladimir Putin in Danilovgrad, Montenegro, November 16, 2016. (Stevo Vasiljevic/Reuters)

A woman passes a billboard showing a pictures of US president-elect Donald Trump and Russian President Vladimir Putin in Danilovgrad, Montenegro, November 16, 2016. (Stevo Vasiljevic/Reuters)

According to reports, top White House aides are worried about what President Trump will discuss when he meets with Vladimir Putin on Friday at a G-20 side session.

Here is a countdown of the top 11 things they fear him saying to the Russian leader:

11. “Still can’t believe we pulled it off.”

10. “You know that hotel-room videotape that doesn’t exist of my visit to your country several years back? I’ve been meaning to ask you for a copy.”

9. “Wow, you sure have a lot of stories that end with someone dying coincidentally!”

8. “That was a very interesting 15-minute monologue you just gave on the current geo-political climate and the full range of strategic imperatives as viewed through a Russian lens. I guess my only question is: Iraq – is that the one that looks like a boot?”

7. “Sure, I’d love to wrestle.”

6. “You’re wrong, Vladimir. Your spies have let you down. Those aren’t our nuclear launch codes. Our nuclear launch codes are as follows: [grabs pen]”

5. “Little-known fact, which I totally know: They called it the Cold War because it happened in winter.”

4. “I’m not saying, ‘Do something with it.’ I’m not saying, “Don’t do anything with it.’ All I’m saying is: Here is a piece of paper with Robert Mueller’s Yahoo email address on it.”

3. “Thank you for the gift of this very ornate lamp that is definitely not bugged so I don’t need to check if it is – and thank you for saving me the time and hassle of doing that, very gracious – but I should definitely put it on my office desk, and I will.”

2. “Enough small talk. We don’t have much time. Let’s get down to the most important matter on our agenda: Hold me.”

And the No. 1 thing that White House aides are worried that President Trump will say to Vladimir Putin:

1. “Yes, sir.”


 

Trump talks to Putin. What could go wrong?

  1. What could go wrong? Putin unleashes ‘the kavorka’ and a bromance ensues – allowing Putin to use the US armed forces to subjugate planet Erth? Or Trump gets Merkelized, again.

  2. This would be funnier if it weren’t absolutely true.

  3. Wrong again Fester. It all went right!!