Society

The royal week that was: will Kate’s hair doom the monarchy?

Summer is silly season for royal watchers

The summer silly season of royal watching officially started this week. Though most of the main players in the British royal family were out and about, everyone is counting down the days until vacations start. Yet the daily newspapers and websites, still want stories—especially controversial ones—about the royal family. So no topic, however light, is safe.

Kate introduced a new hairstyle this week. Well, more of a tweak to an old one, the half-up, half-down. But it turns out that curls can’t compete with humidity. The resultant flat, harsh effect sent royal watchers to their keyboards.

While the dailies went to DEFCON 2, the Daily Beast’s Tom Sykes used a more sarcastic tone to analyze her “tonsorial shame”: “Kate’s hair has anthropomorphically acquired its own iconic personality. That’s why Britain, as a nation, can’t handle it when a strand is out of place.”

My views on her hair are restricted to the more prosaic: I’m heartily sick of her loose long-haired style that never stays put. It’s of such a length and volume that she’s constantly fiddling with it, pulling it back, smoothing it down, and sweeping it off her face. Royalty should be seen, not hidden behind masses of tangled locks.

Amazingly, few commented on her ill-fitting rose-coloured dress. Clearly they were still in shock over the hair. Or maybe they’re saving that subject for August.

Then there was the downgrading of the Queen in Scotland. The Commonwealth Games organizers (it’s in Glasgow this summer), gave her official badges to the game with the designation of, gasp, HRH not HM. Some interpreted it as a sign that the nationalist government in Scotland was setting the stage for dumping Elizabeth II after the Sept. 18 independence referendum. Though, to be fair, they did get it right for name box: Her Majesty the Queen.

Even topics not pegged to current events get the full purple-tinged treatment, including an exposé on the Queen’s stolid, serviceable footwear: “Daily Mail wondered how she survived such a busy schedule. She was at Ascot last week and even more royal events before that, making me wonder how she can pay for her amazing wardrobe and get so much time off work. Reportedly she’s an intern at Sony (likely unpaid). I guess her title doesn’t hurt.

Finally, some serious royal news. Of course it’s from Spain. The new king’s younger sister, Infanta Cristina, is appealing charges of fraud. She’s throwing her husband under the bus, legally speaking, saying she was ignorant of his actions. I wonder what he’ll get her for their 17th wedding anniversary in October? Play handcuffs, perhaps.

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