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Dalton McHarper Campaign-o-Matic


 

Acting on the campaign rule that When in Ontario, Do as Ontarian Politicians might do, Stephen Harper comes to Ontario and does his best Dalton McGuinty impression: Invent a social problem out of whole cloth, declare it a matter of utmost urgency, and vow to ban it posthaste:

“As a parent, I was appalled to see tobacco being marketed in a way that is so enticing to children. Flavouring and packaging them like candy, gum or a fruit roll up,” said Prime Minister Harper. “This just isn’t right. This practice can’t continue. We will not tolerate it.”

Come to think of it, this statement could basically serve as a template for the entire Tory campaign:

“As a [P], I was appalled to see [Q] being [R] in a way that is so [S]. [T], [U], … This just isn’t right. This practice can’t continue. We will not tolerate it”

For example:

P: Taxpayer

Q: Art

R: Subsidised

S: Offensive to Albertans.

T: Movies with sex in the title,

U: Artists on overseas junkets

See how easy it is? Now you try!


 
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