Dalton McHarper Campaign-o-Matic


Acting on the campaign rule that When in Ontario, Do as Ontarian Politicians might do, Stephen Harper comes to Ontario and does his best Dalton McGuinty impression: Invent a social problem out of whole cloth, declare it a matter of utmost urgency, and vow to ban it posthaste:

“As a parent, I was appalled to see tobacco being marketed in a way that is so enticing to children. Flavouring and packaging them like candy, gum or a fruit roll up,” said Prime Minister Harper. “This just isn’t right. This practice can’t continue. We will not tolerate it.”

Come to think of it, this statement could basically serve as a template for the entire Tory campaign:

“As a [P], I was appalled to see [Q] being [R] in a way that is so [S]. [T], [U], … This just isn’t right. This practice can’t continue. We will not tolerate it”

For example:

P: Taxpayer

Q: Art

R: Subsidised

S: Offensive to Albertans.

T: Movies with sex in the title,

U: Artists on overseas junkets

See how easy it is? Now you try!

Filed under:

Dalton McHarper Campaign-o-Matic

  1. I dream of the day when a Conservative government doesn’t think it’s job is to be a little less socialist than it’s competitors and started to behave like actual conservatives.

    Ban cigarettes if they are such a threat to people’s health and stop meddling with how companies market their products.

  2. jwl: This I agree with you on. Either the product is acceptable for sale or it isn’t. If it isn’t, don’t piss around. If it is, lay off.

  3. Mr. Potter:

    A cerebral Scott Feschuk (not to diminish Scott’s intellect)?


  4. T Thwim

    Do you think it’s a sign that something very bad is about to happen in the world when the two of us agree about anything? I am rather superstitious so I would advise everyone to be very careful today.

Sign in to comment.