Trump's America, as interpreted by Sean Hannity - Macleans.ca
 

Trump’s America, as interpreted by Sean Hannity

The Fox News host is Trump’s biggest media champion. Scott Feschuk imagines how far he might go to defend the White House.


 
Donald Trump Jr. is a guest on 'Hannity', July 11, 2017. Image via screenshot.

Donald Trump Jr. is a guest on ‘Hannity’, July 11, 2017. Image via screenshot.

In the wake of Sean Hannity’s defence of Donald Trump Jr., let’s take a look at some future revelations from the Trump presidency—and how the Fox News host will justify them:

The Trump-backed health care bill deprives more than 20 million Americans of coverage.
Hannity: “Kudos to our President. If America is ever going to be great again, we need to be tough enough to ‘walk off’ that sore ankle or congenital heart defect.”

Trump’s decision to slash industry regulations results in more pollution, spills and other environmental disasters.
Hannity: “Did you know that trees are made of wood, which last year played a critical role in almost every single house fire in America? Finally we have a President who’s willing to fight back.”

Video emerges of Donald Trump personally thanking Vladimir Putin for actively interfering in the U.S. election to ensure the defeat of Hillary Clinton.
Hannity: “Breaking news tonight: We have exclusive images of Hillary Clinton eating at a restaurant—and she didn’t take the bus. More liberal hypocrisy? A full hour of reaction, coming up next.”

Eric Trump gets his head stuck in a honey jar for three days.
Hannity: “I for one applaud the courageous decision by the President’s son to tune out the liberal trolls on Twitter.”

Robert Mueller, the special counsel, concludes that Donald Trump engaged in obstruction of justice and collusion with a hostile foreign adversary.
Hannity: “In this critical and defining moment for our country, Americans have to ask themselves: Why isn’t the mainstream media talking about Hillary Clinton’s 33,000 deleted emails?”

Trump pardons his own children to ensure they avoid criminal prosecution.
Hannity: “Barack Obama had eight years to issue blanket pardons to his daughters—and he didn’t get it done. Just another example of negligent parenting from the liberal left.”

After a series of diplomatic screw-ups and empty threats, Trump allows a nuclear missile from North Korea to obliterate California.
Hannity: “Tonight, the egg is on the face of the liberal elite, who warned that California would one day be put in jeopardy by so-called ‘climate change.’ Wrong again, idiots.”

President Trump shoots someone in the middle of Fifth Avenue.
Hannity: “The scourge of jaywalking is a national disgrace and Donald Trump deserves credit for having the courage to crack down on it.”


 

Trump’s America, as interpreted by Sean Hannity

  1. In the alt-right world it is all about “me and my greed”. Selling-out a country is nothing.

    They count on ignorance to keep their followers in place.

    • “Selling-out a country is nothing.”
      A page out of the Clinton Foundation Playbook.

  2. Scott,

    I appreciate the effort, bu this isn’t funny anymore. There is no amount of irony that can approach the theater of the absurd that is playing out in u.s. politics.

    Nothing comes close. How do you parody what is past parody ?

    Not sure what i would write about if I were in your shoes.

    Hang in there.

    • Since he has totally lost his ability to be funny, he should try writing nothing for a while.