The bad poetry of Donald Trump, Vol. 5

Scott Feschuk unlocks the poetry in Donald Trump’s recent speeches


 
<> on June 8, 2017 in Washington, DC.

June 8, 2017 in Washington, DC. (Alex Wong/Getty Images)

Aside from the titles, these are the words of Donald Trump—taken directly from the transcripts of recent public events and speeches.

 

Beautiful Rooms and How I Feel About Them

This is a beautiful room,

I must say.

 

I love beautiful rooms

and this is one of them.


It Could Be Infinity

This is infinity here

It could be infinity

 

We don’t really know.

 

But it could be

It has to be something.

 

But it could be infinity, right?

 

MORE: Donald Trump Jr.’s inner monologue on the morning of July 11

 

This Has Never, Ever Happened

One of the things with the wall is you need

transparency.

You have to be able to

see through it.

 

When they throw the large sacks of drugs over,

if you have people on the other side of the wall,

you don’t see them.

 

They hit you on the head with 60 pounds of stuff?

It’s over.

 

Taking Their Word for It

Charles began taking

machine tool operation courses

from a technical college.

 

He immediately excelled.

 

He was really, really good at it, they say.

 

That’s what they say.

I haven’t checked.

 

MORE: Donald Trump talking to farmers, translated for the rest of us

 

How Good Am I at Fracking?

I’m a

tremendous fracker.

 

Time Travel

I was telling Mike:

It was two days on my birthday.

 

Until a big day,

which turned out to be tomorrow,

the sixteenth.

 

That was the day I came down

with Melania

on the escalator at Trump Tower.

 

That’s tomorrow.

It’s exactly tomorrow.

 

MORE: Rating the sycophants around Donald Trump, from one to five bootlicks

 

Case Closed

And I said to him:

“Were you involved with the meddling in the election?”

 

He said:

“Absolutely not. I was not involved.”

 

He was very strong on it.

 

I then said to him again,

in a totally different way:

“Were you involved with the meddling?”

 

He said: “I was not. Absolutely not.”

 

Now,

he said “absolutely not” twice.

What do you do?

End up in a fistfight with somebody, okay?

 

MORE: Donald Trump’s speech on faith, translated for the rest of us

 

Did You Ever Hear of That?

The floating LNG terminal

on the Croatian island of Krk

Did you ever hear of that?

 

Right?

Huh?

You know all about that.

 

I bet you know all about it.

And the Greece-Bulgaria Interconnector.

MORE: 100 Days of Trump in under four minutes

A Promise About Promises

I promised you:

I keep my promises.

 

Sometimes in politics

they take a little bit longer

 

But we get there.

We get there.

Don’t we get there?

You better believe it

We get there.

 

Thank you.

Thank you.

No, we keep our promise.

 

Day One

I’m very proud of my daughter

Ivanka.

 

Always have been

from day one.

 

I had to tell you that.

From day one.

 

She’s always been great

A champion

She’s a champion.

 

If she weren’t my daughter

it would be so much easier for her.

 

Might be the only bad thing she has going

if you want to know the truth.

 

MORE: What to expect when you’re expecting a better president

 

I Expect Good Things

So when we get back

the first thing I’m going to do is:

“How did we do on the vote?”

 

I expect good things.

 

Otherwise I probably wouldn’t be

talking about it,

to be honest with you.

 

I’d just sort of low-key it

a little bit.

 

I don’t like losing.

I don’t like losing.

MORE: Who Trump has fired since he became president

First Name Basis

Terry, go out there.

He’ll be joining Secretary of Agriculture,

somebody you all know very well,

the legendary Sonny Perdue.

 

And a man who is another legend

on Wall Street,

truly a legend,

they just call him Wilbur.

 

Where Wall Street is big and strong,

he’s just known as Wilbur.

It’s Wilbur Ross.

 

Wilbur Ross,

Secretary of Commerce.

 

Carl Icahn called me.

He said: “Donald, I heard you got Wilbur.”

That was it.

It wasn’t: “Wilbur Ross.”

 

A Tough One and a Big One and a Good One

That doesn’t sound like such a big deal

It is.

 

Believe.

 

That was a big one.

 

We thought this would be easy.

He said: ‘That’s going to be a tough one.’

 

So that was a good one.

 

 

 

 


 

The bad poetry of Donald Trump, Vol. 5

  1. “How Good Am I at Fracking?
    I’m a
    tremendous fracker.”

    Hmmm, I can’t tell if he’s a Battlestar Galactica fan or not. If he is, the above is a boast. If he isn’t, well …

    h$$ps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frak_(expletive)

  2. “They hit you on the head with 60 pounds of stuff?”

    This may have happened once…to Trump. It would explain his convoluted rambling.

  3. A person’s language / vocabulary / expressiveness is directly related to a person’s IQ. Poor language skills = lows IQ. No need to say more.