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The inadvertent poetry of Donald Trump, Vol. 2

You might not expect to find poetry in a president’s speech to a room of police chiefs. But it’s impossible not to see it in Trump’s remarks.


 
President Donald Trump holds a figurine given to him by a group of county sheriffs in the Oval Office of the White House in Washington, DC on Tuesday, Feb. 07, 2017. (Jabin Botsford/The Washington Post/Getty Images)

President Donald Trump holds a figurine given to him by a group of county sheriffs in the Oval Office of the White House in Washington, DC on Tuesday, Feb. 07, 2017. (Jabin Botsford/The Washington Post/Getty Images)

Apart from the titles, these are the words of Donald Trump—taken directly from his Feb. 8 speech to the Major Cities Chiefs Police Association.

Can I Be a Lawyer?

You can be a lawyer

or you don’t have to be

a lawyer

 

Donald Trump Reads a Statute and Attempts to Explain the Statute by Using Pretty Much the Exact Same Words That Are in the Statute

“Whenever the President finds that the entry of any aliens”

— okay, the entry of any aliens

 

“or of any class of aliens”

— so any aliens, any class of aliens

 

“into the United States”

— so the entry of people into the United States, let’s say, just to be precise, of aliens into the United States

 

“Whenever the President finds that the entry of any alien or any class of aliens into the United States would be detrimental to the interests of the United States… he may by proclamation and for such period as he shall deem necessary…”

— so here it is, people coming in —

 

“suspend the entry of all aliens”

— okay, so you can suspend the aliens

right?

 

A bad high school student

would understand this

 

Anybody

would understand this

 

 

General Kelly

General Kelly is an extremely talented man

and a very good man

We are doing our job

 

He’s a great man

We are doing our job

 

 

Things We Knew and Do and Did

We totally knew about it

We knew about everything

We do things well

We did things right

 

 

Four Increasingly Dubious Statements

I was a good student

I understand things

I comprehend very well, okay?

Better than I think almost anybody

 

 

Use It, Unless You Can’t Use It, in Which Case Use It

I said to my people:

Why don’t you use the Boston case?

 

And there were reasons

why they couldn’t use the Boston case

 

But use the Boston case

 

 

A Long, Confusing Sentence About Polls, and Then a Shorter Sentence About the Long, Confusing Sentence About Polls

I can read the polls

maybe better than anybody

because it seems that I understood the polls

a lot better than

many of the pollsters understood the polls

assuming they were honest polls

which I think probably many of them weren’t.

 

I really believe that.

 

 

No Kidding

I will say this:

We will give him a wall

And it will be a real wall

The wall is getting designed right now

 

A lot of people say:

Oh oh

Trump was only kidding with the wall

I wasn’t kidding

I don’t kid

I don’t kid

 

I watch this

and they say I was kidding

I don’t kid

 

I don’t kid

about things like that

I can tell you

 

No we will have a wall

It will be a great wall

 

A Question You Could Ask Israel If Ever You’re in a Conversation with It

Just ask Israel about walls

Do walls work?

Just ask Israel

 

 

A Surprisingly Solemn and Coherent Tribute That Ends with a Curious Choice of Complimentary Phrase

Last year in Dallas police officers were targeted for execution

Think of this

Who ever heard of this?

 

They were targeted for execution

 

These heroic officers died as they lived

protecting the innocent

rushing into danger

risking their lives for people they did not even know

 

Hats off to you people

 

 

The Bad Ones

You know them

You’re there

You’re local

 

You know the illegals

You know them by their first name

You know them by their nicknames

 

You have that power

 

You’re in the neighborhoods

You know the bad ones

You know the good ones

 

I want you to turn in the bad ones

 


 

The inadvertent poetry of Donald Trump, Vol. 2

  1. Funny as always but then so is my KUOW/NPR.org satellite signal. Faux news is not limited to just the internet is it?

    Good to see that CTV is good at reporting the news.

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