Here are the top 10 great things about the Republicans’ proposed replacement for Obamacare:
- Freedom-loving Americans finally unchained from the tyrannical shackles of not having to suffer painfully.
- You remain 100 per cent covered if your pre-existing condition is death.
- “Cancer” will henceforth be spelled as “kancer,” because laughter is the best medicine.
- Weird fine print: All medical pamphlets must now be illustrated with photos of Paul Ryan’s body.
- Reducing financial assistance to people with low incomes is only a problem if you’re a person with a low income. Think about it.
- More than 100 chronic conditions now classified under the category “Walk It Off.”
- Effective immediately, most medical procedures can be paid for in cash, tax credits or organs.
- Health care CEOs will get richer, which is what working-class Americans wanted when they voted for Trump, isn’t it?
- Stop your bellyaching: You’ve got two kidneys, two lungs and two hearts for a reason.
- Mathematically speaking, a shorter life span confers more relative meaning on each living day.
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