Recently, Foxnews.com published a list of pranks to pull on your partner because “no matter how great the chemistry, every relationship can get dull at times. What better way to spice things up than a playful prank?”
It’s so true, right? It got me thinking about some of my favourite pranks. Why don’t I share them with you:
- Put a piece of Scotch tape over your partner’s mouth and then rip it off really hard and say, “You’re as cute as a child opening up a present on Christmas morning! Love you!
- Ask your guy to go to the supermarket armed with a list you’ve written. It’ll have funny stuff on it, like tampons, Vagasil and diarrhea-prevention pills. Also, say he has to buy two cantaloupes but that he can’t put them into the shopping cart because they’ll bruise so he has to carry them in his arms, right in front of his chest and that he’ll have to push the cart with his beer belly.
- Put dog poo into one of your lover’s shoes and also fasten a little note in the inside that says, “You stink, but I still love you!”
- Take your hubby to a wine-tasting event and then be really obnoxious and yell out all the things you’re smelling. You can say things like, “This smell is too in-your-face, like my mother-in-law.” Or, “Definitely corked, like my mother-in-law.” Or, “This smells like my mother-in-law’s cooking.” Be sure to do a fake gag after each smell. He’ll be red-the-face from embarrassment. That’s when you say, “Relax, dude! I love you, and your mother.”
- Say to your honey-pie that you rented a really romantic movie. Light some candles and slip into something sexy, to set the mood. Then turn on CPAC. Ha! Keep the rouse up for a good hour, then say, “Just joking! Here’s the real romantic movie,” and then watch the BBC Pride and Prejudice mini-series: all 300 minutes of it. Or The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, part 1or 2. Or both.
- Buy some moose urine at Canadian Tire and dab some on your neck and wrists. Then tell your sweetie that you bought a new sexy perfume and asks if he likes it. When he throws up on you, say, “Let’s wash that puke off in the shower, good-looking.”
- This one is always good for a laugh (and hopefully a kiss!): superglue your childhood VHS copy of Anne of Green Gables–a Canadian Classic–to the kitchen floor, right before his buddies come over to watch the Big Game. Write his name on it using a black marker. When the tips of his fingers are bloodied from removing it, put on a little nurse hat, kiss those tips and tell him you love how sensitive is.
- This one is best if you have kids: tell them to clean the house and do all the laundry over the weekend or else you’re leaving home–because you’re sick and tired of them not pulling their weight in this family–and you’re never coming back. When they start to cry, say “Surprise! Love you!”
- Hack into your honey’s email and write really sexy emails to his or her boss. When he or she gets fired, say, “I love you so much that I’ll support you while you look for a new job.”
- Bathroom pranks are the best, hands-down. Position a bucket on top of the bathroom door and fill it with the left-over moose urine. When it spills down on him, say, “Let’s get you out of those wet clothes,” and have another shower.