bud selig

This is what happens when you mess with the baseball gods.

Now that the steroids situation is under control (it is, right?) Major League Baseball has turned its attention to the game’s other great flaw: too much waiting, not enough playing. You may not have noticed it yet (probably because you fell asleep during the fourth pitching change of the inning) but Commissioner Bud Selig has ordered his umpires to crack down on the slowpokes. Less strolling around the mound. Less fiddling with the uniforms. Even the managers have been put on notice: you must jog—not walk—when you head to the hill for one of those inspirational speeches.