Elizabeth II

All eyes on St. Edward’s Crown

For the first time in a decade, the Queen is in hospital, felled by a tummy bug. In its usual terse manner, Buckingham Palace announced:

Two old warhorses, John Fraser and Allan Fotheringham, duke it out (yet again)

That the three get along so well is nothing short of a miracle

A former anonymous source, who once publicly lamented the use of anonymous sourcing, currently oversees a national news bureau that ran today an anonymously sourced story about official sleeping arrangements that is being vehemently refuted by the prominent individual in question.

The text of the Queen’s remarks to the crowd on Parliament Hill this afternoon.

And looks “sternly” at a menacing wolverine inside

After all, there certainly isn’t a playbook for times of trouble—like now