Theme

In my “theme songs that explain the premise” post a few days ago, I forgot to mention that the theme song of The Beverly Hillbillies not only explained the premise (and, as a commenter pointed out, still leaves enough room for a brilliant instrumental by Flatt & Scruggs) but plugged the sponsor’s product too. In the early seasons, the theme song was followed by an additional verse that served as a commercial for the main sponsor of the show, sometimes Kellogg’s cereal and sometimes this:

How long has it been since there was a show with a theme song that explained the premise? I can’t think of any since The Fresh Prince of Bel Air and The Nanny in the ’90s, and while both of those themes were terrific, there has really been nothing much since then. (Even British sitcoms, which have longer running times and might actually have time for a full-length theme song, historically tend to have shorter intros than American shows. I could never fully understand that.) I’m sure there have been some I’ve missed, and I’m sure someone will fill me in on the ones I’ve missed, but that kind of theme song is certainly out of fashion, even more so than theme songs in general. If a show absolutely needs to fill us in on the premise, it will do so with narration, like Arrested Development did, but not with lyrics.

That Hulk theme wasn’t the only 20-second theme song written for cheaply-animated Marvel adaptations in the ’60s. The same company did an anthology show called The Marvel Superheroes, featuring some of the Marvel characters who weren’t as big as Hulk or Spider-Man, and each segment had its own theme song. An instrumental version of the “Iron Man” song can be heard briefly in the recent movie.

Until I read the comments on Noel Murray’s great “Commentary Tracks of the Damned” piece on The Hottie and the Nottie, I did not realize that the perfectly attractive person who played the supposed “Nottie,” Christine Lakin, was the third girl on Step By Step. (Aka “The Brady Bunch, only nastier and sappier at the same time.”) Everybody hates the whole “Hollywood Ugly” convention where pretty people are presented as ugly wallflowers. It was one thing for her to be presented as a wallflower compared to Staci Keanan and Angela Watson, but expecting us to believe she’s less attractive than Paris Hilton is utterly insane and stupid. Much like The Hottie and the Nottie is utterly insane and stupid.

Starpulse presents The top 10 corniest theme songs of the ’80s.

Quick question for connoisseurs of bad late-in-the-run television intros. Which Garry Marshall/Paramount/Miller-Boyett sitcom had the more depressing intro in the 1982-83 season?

Earle Hagen, who composed the theme songs for The Dick Van Dyke Show and The Andy Griffith Show (he also did the whistling) has died at the age of 88.