I was complaining again about how pay-cable shows, which have the time to do full-length title sequences, all seem to do the same kind of sequence: a symbolic vignette summing up the theme of the show, accompanied by a pop song or unmemorable soundtrack noodlings. Some of these work; some, like Nurse Jackie, work considerably less well than just having a minute and a half of well-chosen clips. Anyway, since Hung is an example of all these cliches in action — the main title has no other characters besides the protagonist, it uses a pop song instead of an original theme, and it’s full of symbols (smutty symbols, in this case, as befits the show) — I was challenged by Poniewozik to come up with a better theme song, preferably one that explains the premise. So here it is:
Come and listen to the story of a man named Ray,
A guy in Detroit faced with bills he couldn’t pay,
But then one day, tired of actin’ like a stooge,
He stopped thinkin’ small and began to think huge.
Large, that is. Great big. Foot-long.
Well, ol’ Ray had a chance to become a local whore,
His friends said “Ray, hey, whatcha waitin’ for?”
Now Ray’s winning praise from the girls he goes among,
He may have his hangups, but boy, the boy’s HUNG.
Well-endowed. Joystick-juiced. Insert sophomoric joke here.
Now the main title continues as per normal, but it’s better now because it’s accompanied by Flatt and Scruggs. Everything’s better with Flatt and Scruggs.
For comparison purposes, here’s the actual Hung main title.