Any questions? -

Any questions?


Mailbag coming Thursday Friday (admit it: you knew that was coming). Submit your queries below now.

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Any questions?

  1. I was devestated to hear that Inky Mark was retiring… the truth is I thought he had retired as a Reform MP in the late 90's. Is there a record of Inky's accomplishments anywhere?

    • You want to know if he's made a mark? A Mark mark?

    • Was he named after a fountain pen I used to have ? I'm old.

  2. Why does Luiza Ch. Savage get to use a two-letter middle "initial" when the rest of us have to get by with one? What does it stand for? Is it still an initial if it has two letters? Is it her parents' fault?

    • It's worse still – she's using her own alphabet even!

      Surely more proof of the way immigrants come from away and seek to impose their culture on all of us!

    • How do you pronounce "Ch."?

  3. Who is Canada's Sarah Palin?

    • That would be a rhetorical question, correct?

      Stephen Harper.

      I claim my five pounds.

    • Does the name Helena Guergis ring a bell??

      • No. Sarah Palin has a chance at winning her party's nomination. That makes them dissimilar.

    • Shelley Glover.

      • Shelly Glover has my vote.

    • Maxine Bernier

      • winner. hands down.

    • Elizabeth May.

  4. Did Coyne smell nice after his intimate weekend with Jim?

  5. Also Iggy seems to think the government should have acted sooner in their response to the Sun Sea… It seems to me government officials were ready with all the clip boards and umbrellas they needed…what additional steps could have been taken?

  6. How much of Coyne's most recent anti-Steve screed is actually just his feelings of rejection from his unrequisted man-crush on a fellow nerd, thanks to Steve's 180-degree shift into self-loathing egghead?

  7. How does The Right Honourable Stephen Joseph Harper inspire you?

  8. Ezra Levant is on my TV promoting the idea of having an island to keep boat people on to process their refugee claims. He wants it modelled on Oz's Christmas Island…

    But it would be more fun if it was like Fantasy Island but reality-and-migrant-based. Ezra IS reminiscent of a young and excitable Herve Villechaize, and could be the island greeter.

    What island would make the best location? Surely not that hellhole, PEI! And who gets to be Rourke(ish)?

    • Quick! Someone photosshop Ezra calling "Da plane! Da plane!"

      • Hahaha, I love to see that!

  9. How do I get a question answered?

  10. Dear Scott

    DirtyOldTown was (un)kind enough to alert me to the existence of this photo of Nickelback in concert (you'll have to scroll down to the second pic of the URL)
    It's kind of like seeing a friend get nailed in the pills with the orange hockey ball; sure it's funny, but it makes you feel sick to your stomach too. I'm not sure why I'm writing…. it's not that I like Chad Kroeger….. nor am I a Ned Beatty fan, but I never want to see Deliverence again either…….
    I mean……whose idea was this? What the hell does it mean?

    • I simply couldn't go on carrying the emotional burden of that image all by myself anymore. Thanks for sharing (and re-sharing) the pain.

    • I would like to add an addendum to Danby's question.

      Scott, do you have Canadian post-grunge rock cred? If not, what would it take for you to get your photo on Nickelback's slideshow with your dog? Are you more hip that you would get endorsements from Jason Kenny's favourite libertarian punk band?

  11. This weekend I tried to rip a page out of Tony Clement's communication playbook and it backfired on me.

    My girlfriend somehow got the impression, probably through the words I had said to her, that my sister had phoned on Saturday and asked me to come over to plan our parents' upcoming 30th wedding anniversary. In reality my sister had phoned and told me she was planning the anniversary and wanted me to put my thinking cap on for fun party ideas.

    In actually went out to play poker with my buddies Saturday evening.

    Well my girlfriend found out about poker and is upset. I keep telling her that I had merely represented what I believed my sister had told me over the phone.

    Where did I go wrong and how would Tony have done it better?

  12. Hey Scott,
    What's up with Andrew Potter's latest fixation?
    Is alien space sex the new beemer parking?


    Maybe more important; What-the-hell is this idiot doing to Canada? And why should we let him?

    • You mean his book on the HISTORY of hockey?

      Fun fact: When he started writing it, it was about current issues in hockey. Working title was 'Six is Enough'.

      • I can't help but think that "Four is Enough" would be a great title – for his Autobiography, that is……

  14. Is there a point to the whole thing?

    Or are we truly just a bunch of over evolved apes who had the first ancestor to figure out how to best kill the rest of the food chain and who stumbled onto fire making? If so, how in the hell did that then lead to, via a series of wacky mishaps and the odd genocide along thw way through the millenia, my having to wear a tie, Rockports, and Hillfiger socks into a cubicle farm Monday through Friday, and to be ground down for between eight to sixteen painful hours a day by the soul destroying inanity and ennui of Process, Policy, and Procedure?

    Alternatively, am I perhaps taking having to go back to work after vacation a bit too hard?

  15. I understand that journalists get to invite a guest to the Parliamentary Press Dinner. I've always been curious – which journalist keeps inviting Jane Taber as their guest?

  16. Scott:

    Any truth to the rumour that Steve Harper chartered up a boatload of Tamils to distract us from gazebos, census forms and veterans?

  17. Scott,
    It seems as if the end of days is upon us. Prime Minister Harper is hanging out with celebrities, Michael Ignatieff is showing something resembling competence, Ottawa keeps getting hit with thunderstorms and downpours, and the Toronto Argos are over .500. My question is this. How should I spend my last few days on earth before the apocolypse? I'm a bachelor, so I don't have to waste my time with that 'loving my family' mumbo-jumbo. I put my last few days on earth in your hands. (also I only have a few vacation days left this year…I can probably add on a sick day or two, but long distance traveling may be out as well for time reasons).

    EDIT: Scott,
    Me again. It's Thursday afternoon and its insane outside. If the world ends tonight, I'm going to be pissed you waited until Friday for the mailbag.

  18. TheJones noted:
    "Also Iggy seems to think the government should have acted sooner in their response to the Sun Sea"

    Iggy should have thought of that before deciding to accept his annointment to the Party responsible for our current Immigration crisis. Oh well……the more illegal immigrants and immigration lawyers we have…..the more the Liberal voting pool expands.

    • Dear Scott, why is it so hard for some people to grasp the idea of a humour column?

      • It's funny you should ask that.

    • You're supposed to ask a question silly.

  19. Scott doesn't write a humour column.

    He writes for the Liberal Party, and he just happens to be the only Liberal with a sense of humour.

    • Oh come on.

      That's completely unfair and partisan.

      What about the fella who filmed Dion's coalition video?

      • Hahaha, he went in to hiding, since he destroyed the Liberal party all by himself!

      • Filming Dion did not cause him to be shown as a complete buffoon and idiot.

        Dion……did that. The guy holding the camera just caught it on tape.

  20. Dear Scott:

    There's a singer, ineligible to run for president, who wants to defy the constitution of the country he wants to lead. There's a TV-personality building contractor who wants to fix the shambles of our kinder, gentler version of apartheid. A columnist wants to shake the bedposts with an extraterrestrial.

    So, anyways, what's on your agenda for accomplishment by summer 2011?

  21. Dear Scott:

    When will you challenge the Old Spice Man to a duel? He's been stepping on your manly turf for some time now, and I think it's high time for a Feschuk / Old Spice Man throwdown.


    • I second that!

  22. Dear Scott,

    Will you tell me the true meaning of DEMOCRACY because my dictionary and the Governments doesn't match!


  23. Scott:

    Do you really think Harper is trying to destroy the country ?

  24. Dear Scott,

    I've heard all kinds of crazy things about the boatload of refugees that recently arrived on our shores.I've heard that they're terrorists, the advance guard of an impending army of refugees, and (perhaps prematurely) a boatload of welfare bums. Personally, I'm always in favour of a good old-fashioned scapegoating, and this is starting to look like it's shaping up into a golden opportunity to throw around some blame. My question to you: Is there anything else we can pin on these Sri Lankan migrants?


    • The census! These fiends on water are trying to impose a mandatory long-form census on us poor defenceless Canadians.

      (Hint to Stupid Conservatives; the above was an example of humour. When the Sun advocates "lock and load" that is an example of advocating mass murder. Learn the difference)

      • And I see they've made home sales fall across the country, too. Darn those migrants! Why do they hate our troops?

  25. Scott,

    Is there any truth to the rumour that Public Safety Minister Vic Toews will be sponsoring a Tamil refugee and his family and allowing them to stay in his home in Manitoba?


  26. I recently criticized Steven Harper to some colleagues. Should I resign now or wait for PMO to push me out?

  27. Dear Scott,

    Should Harper try out for the Leafs farm team?

  28. Holly schtick noted:
    "When the Sun advocates "lock and load" that is an example of advocating mass murder"

    Sorry, Holly. Lock and load is a term used to describe one's willingness to get ready for action. …whatever it may be.

    If you want to see what advocating for mass murder really looks like……….please find a copy of the Hamas charter. Tell Denis Coderre and a few other liberals who like to march under the Hamas flag to look it over as well. (but I'm sure they're already aware of it)

      • Thanks for the link, Holly….but I'm well aware of that episode.

        And before you try to prove how cruel Conservatives are… may want to read the link yourself. You'll note the Prime Minster of the day….and what Party he belonged to.

  29. “Whether Canada ends up as one national government or two national governments or several national governments, or some other kind of arrangement is, quite frankly, secondary in my opinion … And whether Canada ends up with one national government or two governments or ten governments, the Canadian people will require less government no matter what the constitutional status or arrangement of any future country may be.”

    Stephen Harper

    (Speech to the Colin Brown Memorial Dinner, National Citizens Coalition, 1994)

    • He sounds stoned.

  30. Dear Scott:

    We have a Google-guy suggesting the best way to preserve internet anonymity is to change your name.

    So, I wonder: which evil b*st*rd has been posing as one Scott Feschuk, offering year-after-year of useful (in a most contrarian sense of the word useful) NFL predictions?



    • Dear Scott,

      I'm so confused.



      • Dear Scott,

        Oh yeah? Well MYL isn't even a quarter as confused as I am!