Caption challenge for a long weekend


WINNER: Honourable mentions to MostlyCivil, craigola and Jeff Rose-Martland. Our winner is WDM, for his entry below. WDM, send me an email and a prize shall descend upon you.

David Akin started this on Twitter, but let’s pile on. Captionize this photo of our Prime Minister – an actual prize awaits the actual winner.

*sigh* For the LAST time Mr. Prime Minister, I am NOT Rahim Jaffer.

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Caption challenge for a long weekend

  1. Time for your upgrade Mr Harper. We finally have the eye lasers you asked for.

  2. I don't have enough fingers to count all the promises you have broken to the Canadian people….

  3. You do realize Mr. Harper that this is in the elitist drinks category – you will have to hide when drinking it, like you do for everything else.

  4. We'll start with my thumb, Mr. Harper. I made this face the first time I … Never mind.

  5. But Mr Harper – if you cut the medical budget I won't be able to fill my pockets by running needless tests on my patients! .

  6. We're running out of staffers Mr. Harper. We simply can't make them as fast as you dispose of them.

  7. I'd love to tell you your results, Mr. Harper, but first I have to submit them to the Minister for approval, then Public Affairs, then the PMO, then…

  8. No for the third time Prime Minister, it only installs optical transcievers. It can't be used to destroy the Liberals.

    • … yet.

  9. Well, just watch me.

  10. Now that we've embedded all those microchips into your MPs, this machine will control their every action at the push of a button. For example, hit F4 to cause Peter MacKay to rant about Russian jets nearing Canadian airspace. It's that simple!

  11. It's a good prototype, Prime Minister, but money printing machines are not what we do here!

  12. Stephen, there is no possible way your fever is Michael Ignatieff's fault.

    • Or the CBC's.


  14. I am very sorry, sir. We followed the most promising leads, and brought in the best botanists in the world as Visiting Fellows. But have a look for yourself. There is not a single tree in existence, nor one we can design through genetic engineering, that will sprout any currency at all.

    We invited you because my crazy supervisor had a glimmer of hope that you might be the one federal party leader to understand the implications. Money does not grow on trees, Prime Minister.

  15. *sigh* For the LAST time Mr. Prime Minister, I am NOT Rahim Jaffer.

  16. So, if I punch in this code, it will eliminate the liberal party?

  17. So, this machine will get us better results than the mandatory long form census?

  18. And your name shall be "Lore."

  19. Trying to appear more human, PM goes in for robotic overhaul and has emotion chip installed.

  20. Yes. Nano technology can make your tiny penis larger. All we need is the funding.

  21. It's a fact, Prime Minister, F-A-C-T.

  22. For the 100th time, it's called science! It concerns facts and evidence, not feelings! It… oh great he's fallen asleep AGAIN!

  23. Mr Harper, I'm NOT trying to get "all sciency" on you. That's how it works!

  24. Im the chiropractor that your Minister of Science, Gary Goodyear, commissioned to build a time machine. We are going to go visit the beginning of the universe, 6000 years ago.

  25. Even with my glasses on I still don't get this random sample thingy.

  26. If you put yourself on the waiting list to see the specialist, and then he puts you on the waiting list to get a test done by me with this machine right here, we'll have your problem narrowed down in less than 8 months!

  27. For the last time, I can't just build you another Myron Thompson.

  28. Pull my finger.

  29. Prime Minister, just get me the three DNA samples. Then, within 24 hours, I will provide you with definitive proof of the existence of the coalition!

  30. Yes, medicine has much to teach us but I'd sooner stick this thumb right up my ass than vote Conservative.

  31. As a new diease called Electorial Disfunction or ED for Short is a "growing problem" in this Country. Prime Minister, we actually have built this device which will reduce the Liberals , NDP and the Bloc to Thumb Sized Puppets that you can then dispose of regarding "any matter" or (Anti matter in Gilles Duceppes Case) , thus creating a majority governement that can actually lead this country, not rely on Placating to Uncle Iggy and Taliban Jack Layton and a party that only mission is to to separate from our great County//// Electoral Dysfunction is a problem we need to address….. no funding required,….Priceless

  32. …but if we dampen people's brainwaves any further, they probably won't have the capacity to vote for you, either.

  33. – Yess, I assure you, zis laser targetting komputer spells the end of your nemesis, James Bond! (spits out the name)

    – It had better. It's his life, or…vell, you remember vat happened to Guergis & Casey, don't you, my little flend? My sweet crocodiles are always hungry for fresh meat..

    – (gulp)

  34. Indeed, Canadians are extremely proud that despite limited funding, the technology has come a long way; but you will still need to turn your head and cough.

  35. WE have to look as if we are discussing something serious for this photo op

  36. Oh, wow! I'm being interviewed by Raj Binder.

    • And relieved he can talk about hockey.

  37. So do you understand how we use facts and reason to reach a logical conclusion?

  38. "…so now that you have resized the photograph, we can now ammend it with an adorable caption and post to your MySpace…"

  39. 'Elite'? Oh no, I promise you, sir, I graduated in the middle of my class.

  40. 'With this processor upgrade, the Bairdinator T3000 will be able to split into multiple, independent offensive units capable of engaging and overwhelming any threat posed by the media or the socialist-separatist coalition. In the unlikely event of mission failure, he can be reconfigured to govern a US state.'

  41. I swear sir, by checking the 'yes' box on this survey won't lead to any questions on your bathroom habits.

  42. No, Mr. Prime Minister, we cannot build you a soul. We've looked at the numbers, and—it's statistically impossible.

  43. Please, please win the next election.

    I fear our country being run by coalition of hard left liberals, socialists and seperatists.

    • weak sauce

  44. And that Mr. Prime Minister is the latest data we have from this new Global Warming Predictometer………………………………
    You don't appear convinced Sir!

  45. Mr. Harper, seen here inspecting the PMO Info B 2.0, was particularly impressed to hear that its fricken laser was on development schedule and that it was successfully updated to Firmware V4.5 – Liberals Did it First/Unpatriots

  46. "And so, Mr. Prime Minister, using this highly sensitive microscope, we will be able to locate your humanity."

  47. You'll love this mister prime minister…just press this button with your thumb and Iggy's head will explode

  48. "With recent advances in medical technology we have every hope of extracting it Mr. Harper, no matter how far it has been shoved up there."

  49. "For the last time Prime Minister Harper, your yelling at me won't change the measurements and they have nothing to do with a so-called 'fact-based agenda' !!"

  50. Mr. Prime Minister, we’ve located Lawrence Martin and all of the bookstores selling Harperland. Don’t you think that drone strikes are going a little bit too far?

  51. And so our Prime Minister seems somewhat deflated: "Really, Tweedlethumb, could our boxed in common sense be only a mouse-click-away?"

  52. Don't choke on the awesome.

  53. Actually Sir, this demonstration will really be nothing at all like Disney World's "Honey I Shrunk The Audience" ride.

  54. Do Liberals have stem cells? Interesting question ….

  55. Actually, Lawrence Cannon's brain is only *this* big.

  56. Oh, policies? They're made on the operating table…

  57. "The Prime Minister confronts his toughest opposition face-to-face: Facts."

  58. The "acamp" nanochip embedded in Ignatieff's brain will give you amazing control. Pull your thumb back and he'll say "I support a coalition", twist right and he'll shout "Duceppe is my friend", wave your index finger and he'll hug Layton and kiss him on both cheeks.

  59. …and third, I'm not fricking Shaun Majumder.

  60. You are not the one who is just visiting?