Caption challenge: PM. GG.

Enter today, vote tomorrow


For this week’s caption challenge, let’s travel back in time – way, way back to a simpler era when the federal government decided to change the national anthem to make it gender-neutral.

Come up with your caption entry today. Vote for your favourite finalist tomorrow. The winner will receive an Amazon.ca gift certificate courtesy of Feschuk.Reid, the speechwriting and communications firm that had nothing to do with the Closing Ceremonies of the Winter Games (our most effective selling point yet). Feschuk.Reid: Nothing beats a great pair of L’eggs.


Caption challenge: PM. GG.

  1. The Governor General was not impressed by the Prime Minister's De Niro impression.

  2. Harper: You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? You've beaten my prorogation, which means you're exceptionally viceregal, so you could've put the poison in your own glass, trusting on your constitutionality to save you, so I can clearly not choose the water in front of you. But, you've also bested my Baird, which means you must have studied Zen, and in studying Zen you must have learned that Tories are molten, so you would have put the poison as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the water in front of me.

    GG: You're trying to trick me into proroguing again. It won't work.

    • I don't know about the banana.
      I think the word "INCONCEIVABLE" best describes what Jack has done here.

      "You keep using that word… I do not think it means what you think it means."

      • Wow. Someone actually gave me a thumbs down on this.
        "I do not mean to pry, but you don't by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand?"

    • Awesome. Although I wish that for a year the GG spent a year building up a resistance to prorogation requests. Doesn't seem to be the case, unfortunately.

  3. I couldn't fire Bernier….. I mean, did you see Coulliard?

    GG: You sicken me

  4. "So I say, 'Yes, you're right, one does seem to be a little higher than the other, but' – but I digress, Your Excellency. You were saying?"

  5. "Mine are this big and they hang to my knees… so I'll prorogue any damn time I like."

  6. Harper: Michaëlle, almost time to read the speech. Are you shovel ready?

    Jean: If thou dost say so.

  7. I may not know much about art, but I was really rooting for the humans in Avatar…

  8. The first face to face encounter after prorogation

    SH: …with meetings…. Laureen, and the kids…. New Years….. I mean, I had a lot to juggle….

    GG A phone call? Hmpff! You should have come in person

  9. Harper: … as such, the Canadian economy is like a big watermelon. You take a big bite, and spit out the seeds…
    GG: What is this crazy cracker talking about?

  10. "Do you really have to do that *every* time you mention Mike Duffy?"

  11. – I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one of 'em!
    – Guess I got told.
    – Lastnight at the club she was all up in HERE.
    – Straight pimpin'

  12. GG: Stephen… was that you??

    Harper: Who ever smelled it dealt it??

  13. "Some day, and that day may never come, I'll call upon you to do a service for me. But until that day comes, please accept the aid for Haiti with my best wishes."

    • This is good and would be even more awesome if Haiti were in quotes.

    • LOL. Hey Sean, that's not fair – you're too good. I think we should make a rule here Feschuck that we have only one kick at the can at each caption challenge.

  14. 'But Prime Minister the word prorugue already is gender neutral"!

    "OK,OK. Let's change the anthem then…that should make you happy"?

    GG[ incredulously] " What!! Tabernac!!!

  15. Out of nowhere, Stephen Harper breaks into song:

    "The bigger the cushion, the sweeter the pushin'
    That's what I said
    The looser the waistband, the deeper the quicksand
    Or so I have read

    My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo
    I'd like to sink her with my pink torpedo

    Big bottom, big bottom
    Talk about bum cakes, my girl's got 'em
    Big bottom drive me out of my mind
    How could I leave this behind?"

    Jean seems to think that "Big Bottom" by Spinal Tap was a poor song choice.

  16. You know, Laureen, well, she's got, you know,. . .arthritis in both hands.

  17. In Canada, we have sons of all genders, said the Prime Minister. Everyone, male or female, who has a pair of THESE can feel included in the anthem.

  18. With balls this big, wouldn't you prorogue too?

  19. "Women's equality? Mmm – meh. Laurene's wrath? So, I say change the flipping anthem then."

  20. After his flatulence drew the attention of a shocked Michaelle Jean, the PM retorted "What? So I had beans for lunch."

  21. Stephen Harper was especially pleased that they managed to find a Whitney Houston look-a-like for the video of his latest single, My Prorogative.

  22. PM: How do I get appointed to a job like your's so I don't need those election thingys anymore?

  23. GG Sulk if you want, you are not going to play the piano!

  24. De girl have skinny legs! Dem's a pushover! Gimme a gal wit some meat on dem bones!

  25. Harper: My next Governor-General is going to have a piar like this.

    Jean: You sexist pig.

  26. Yes, these are the hands that played the Beatles. You may kiss them.

  27. "All I'm saying is that's a much nicer and chair and I'm the guy running the show"

  28. H. scowls – I told you I want that chair

    GG frowns and hangs on to her seat. You can't bribe me with money for Haiti. Take off, eh!

  29. GG: So where is our superrecalifragilistic expialidocious way forward Stephen?

    SH: Uhm….. I mean, the dog ate it ma'am…

  30. GG: The Government is … clean?

    PM: Meh, I washed up this morning

  31. It turns out the recalibrator machine had knobs THIS big.

  32. Harper: I partied with Feschuk in Whistler during the Olympics. You should have seen some of the girls there with their big… Hey why are you looking at me with disgust?

  33. SH: Simple. I had Bernier make Couillard an offer she couldn't refuse.

    MJ: Are you completely insane?

  34. Harper: ~Hoi've got a lo-ve-ly bunch o' coconuts. ~There they are a-standin' in a row. ~ Big ones, small ones, some as big as yer' ead! ~ Give 'em a twist, a flick o' the wrist, That's what the showman said! ~ la di di daa daa~

    GG: (o_ O) ….

    • THIS is gold. It would be even golder if she looked like she was going to join him in song. But the look of horror is still gold.

  35. Nick? Joe? Kevin? You know, I can't really pick a favourite.

  36. Prime Minister Harper, answering press reporters (in French) yet another question originally posed to the Governor General Michaelle Jean.

  37. Yeah, the athletes had something to do with it, but at the end of the day, those medals are mine.

  38. GG: Why don't you fire that Guergis person?
    SH: Because her assets are … this big.

  39. Harper: Madame Jean, I do not understand why you are sitting on my chair. You may be the governor-general. Just remember that I am your dictator. Get out of my seat now!

  40. Stephen once again expresses his disappointment that Pamela wasn't invited to the Opening Ceremonies.

  41. "You don't wanna read the speech? Maybe I'll prorogue you too…"

  42. To be honest Michelle, I can't really tell the difference between a cantaloupe and the silicon breast implant. So I'd go with the cantaloupe.

  43. "Oh stop it: he's got the other big chair because he's my husband."

  44. Alright, you can change the channel to MarketWatch. Just stop pouting!

    [Weak, I know…]

  45. GG: Hey, Steve, are you sure about that? I mean, David Emerson, loves the Liberals. He never said anything to me about crossin'
    PM: I'll make him an offer he can't refuse.

  46. Yes, I know bad bad Mr. Flaherty's deficit calculations were off by $80,000,000,000. And you were very very upset when it was Mr. Wells that pointed it out first in his nasty MacLeans column. But you have to be a big boy now that parliament is back in session.

  47. Is that really a "silent but violent" one, Michaelle? Meh.

  48. As the Prime Minister slowly stopped moving, the young airforce captain behind him suddenly realized he had forgoten to give the wind up key in the back of the PM's neck a quick turn or two.

  49. Harper – "MmmmmmmmmmMmmmmMmMMMmmmm!"
    GG – "Um…. is it Marvin the Paranoid robot?"

    Throne Speech charades.

  50. The Bigger The Balls ,The smaller The Brain. Maybe he needs to Be pie'd in the Face.To: Add a little Colour,I,m sure Him & Flanagan's Colour's on their Path in Liife will be exposed in Time & all will turned off & move on to A better Canada,where we can be seen as a more of true Canadain's. Good Luck Moron's of Later Times,you do not fit the book 7 ur not fit as a fiddle to Play the Right Tunes. We need A Master that will Navigate our Way To sucess, that will not sink his Ship & his mates. "Fare Thee well". Bush wacker.

  51. What can I say, Michaëlle? Chicks dig me.

  52. The Prime Minister shows everyone what he found stuck to Flaherty's new shoes. A good public service scrubbing is going to be required for this budget, says he.

  53. "Oh, Stephen — 6000 words! You expect me to read 6000 words aloud. Better be good — you DID hire Feschuk.Reid?"

    "Nah, just talked it over some with Gretzky and Jenn Heil. Mostly my take. Anyhoo, doesn't say as much as you might expect."

  54. M.J.:"Trust me the feeling is mutual!"

  55. "Just how far are you willing to take this Mr Harper? First the prorogues, now the anthem…just how far are you willing to go"?

    " just watch me"!

  56. GG: The anthem? You think the media will ignore everything of substance for your stupid little anthem ploy?

    PMSH: Well, Your Excellency, we'll just wait and see…

  57. M.J.: “WTF!?! Really?”

    S.H.: “Why not? I’ve already tried everything else.”

  58. GG – As the queens representative where's the country going.

    Steve – I donno

  59. GG – As the queens representative where's the country going.

  60. "I'll even show you my hands"', "See, no strings"

  61. Jean: What's that smell?

    Harper: Sorry. One perogy too many, I guess.

  62. Now if I had breasts this big, no one would have cared if I prorogued parliament.

  63. You move up to double D's and you'll be doing my job before you know it.

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