UPDATE just before 2 p.m ET: A convincing victory for Not Stephen Colbert, who is, I am assuming, not Stephen Colbert. Whoever you are, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and I’ll send along your reward.
I’m not saying this wasn’t one of your finer efforts, people, but it’s only 5:15 in the morning and I’ve already been exposed to twice the recommended daily allowance of subpar.
Some solid finalists, though, so let’s get to them. Winner receives an Amazon.ca gift certificate courtesy of Feschuk.Reid, the world’s first and only speechwriting and communications firm ever. Feschuk.Reid: Because You’re Worth It.
“Whoa, hold on a minute. If he’s Peter MacKay, then who the hell are you?” – Not Stephen Colbert
“Does anyone else see the teddy bear in the suit standing next to me?” – Al O’Wishes
“Okay, pay attention this time Van Loan: Cannon will have the double decaf soy latte; MacKay, the Red Bull; Nicholson will have a cup of Red Rose; and I’ll have my usual warm mug of Ignatieff’s tears.” – MaggiesFarmboy
“…miney, MO!” – themikestand
“So I’ll be B.A.Baracus and you’ll be Hannibal, Peter gets to be Face, and everyone else can fight over Murdock’s spot.” – London, On