In the annals of what prompts despair
Ranked just above losing one’s hair
(Though below enduring Hudson Hawk)
Is the sun going down at 4 o’clock.
The roads with streetlight are festooned
But dude, it’s still the afternoon!
Our skin so pale, our moods defective
Disorders seasonally affective.
Across a fractured hemisphere
There comes a unifying cheer:
Hey Earth – get off your lazy axis!
Autumn’s no time to relaxis.
We hear you’re suffering climate change
Hot flashes have you feeling strange
And word is that we are the cause
Of your planetary menopause.
Perhaps a deal we can beget
(Though technically it’s more a threat)
Spare us from the winter bummers
Or we’re all buying H2 Hummers.
It’s not as though we’re asking much
Just angle your fat ass a touch
So your top half leans toward the sun
And the next five months don’t make us glum.
For some there’ll be a cost, we’ll vouch
The briefer daylight hours will ouch
Just like a kick in the genitalia
But screw you, Fiji and Australia.