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Unlike at last week’s Republican National Convention, I did not take the photos in this gallery. I am not “in Philadelphia with my camera.” I am “back home in front of a TV, taking a drink every time Wolf Blitzer says the word ‘historic.’ ” Update: I now am dead. Anyway, who’s up for four days of meaningless platitudes, overheated rhetoric and Hillary Clinton failing to understand that microphones amplify sound and therefore do not need to be yelled into? Let’s do this.