Definition challenge: The voting -

Definition challenge: The voting


UPDATE: SeanStok wins! Take an e-bow, Sean. Thanks to all for your definitions and your votes: the Monday caption challenge resumes in the new year.

Using only my instincts (and the bones of 14 chickens), I’ve selected three finalists for the 2009 Definition Challenge. Do what you will with them. Winner gets a $50 gift certificate and, in the spirit of the holidays, a purple nurple*.

* Gift certificate optional.

Meanwhile, the caption challenge and mailbag are taking a holiday hiatus. The merriest of the season to you all. I’ll be the guy at the mall cursing your eternal soul when you get to the cash register, wait for the your purchases to be tallied and only then – after the total has been announced – go to the trouble of digging out your wallet… as though there were some chance your purchases would total zero dollars.

The finalists are:

poilievre vb. to incessantly yap: Mr. Harper ultimately had to return his adopted Yorkshire Terrier to the dog shelter since it would not stop poilievring every time the doorbell rang. – Anon Liberal

balsillie vb. An attempt to join a gathering despite strong objections: Feschuk resolved to Balsillie his way into the Maclean’s staff holiday party. – SeanStok (Blogger’s note: There was a Maclean’s staff holiday party??)

nordegren vb. to get half; to seek half; Scandinavian version of the previous old American English “Carson”: Before Billy could unwrap his Snickers bar, Sally had nordegrenned it. – Richard


Definition challenge: The voting

  1. I vote for SeanStok. Because I think it was funny and less top of the current headlines, and also because I think Feschuk should be paying SeanStok as the other half of the comedic duo. I have enjoyed the back and forth between you two.

    • yeah Sean as been an incredibly good straightman.

  2. Does this mean SeanStok gets the purple nurple? Because I am ok with that.

    • It's only early returns so far. I think yours is funnier, btw. Why don't we agree to have Feschuk seek out an underprivileged child to receive the purple nurple, regardless of who wins?

      • A capital suggestion. Agreed.

        • Afraid I'm going to have do some bud-nipping – i think it's grand that there are various movements afoot to direct challenge prizes to the less fortunate, but as a policy i'm just going to reward the winner and they can pass all prizes, nurples, and hertz donuts forward or sideways or upstairs or whichever direction they like.

  3. I was just at Jane Galt's and she had link to advice column that reminded me of Feschuk's efforts.

    Feschuk, is 'John' the person you pattern yourself after while doling out advice?

    • Funny! Reminds me of the famous "send picture of boat" personal ad.

  4. Hey – wait a sec – the noun definition of Nordegran was much better than the verb definition.

  5. Thank you very much, everybody! And thank you, Scott.

    Since Feschuck is forcing me to not just *want* to donate, but actually do the work of clicking my mouse, I'm going to buy me some books but donate equivalent cash to these guys:

    They do good work, and they really need the money. I'm not Christian, but I've always admired Christ's stance that we need to look out for the most damaged amongst us, without judgement. And in the Christmas spirit I think homeless youth fit the bill.

    I'm keeping the nurple for later use.

    I hope everyone joins me in thanking Feschuk for a year's worth of laughs and smiles. This is pretty much my favourite corner of the interwebs.

    Merry Christmas, to all.

    • Mine too. Between you, Feschuck and that Arsenal dude …. too many laughs. I'm an Accountant for a conventional broadcaster … everyone at work wants to know why I'm laughing.

    • This backpatting is going to seem rather shameless once people discover than Sean and I are the same person.

      • I knew it! That's why I've never seen the two of you together!

  6. LOL!!!!!!!!
    You're a wonderful group! I tried to post earlier but I had a virus – the letters on my keyboard kept floating around. I told the miss us about it and she said that the virus seems to only appear when I am finishing the bottom half of a third bottle of wine.
    For anyone who got offended…. well….wadda ya expect from an imaginary person existing in a fairytale world and making up fictitious words!!!
    I have to go – some friends are going to strap me into a sleigh and feed me spiked eggnog intravenously… be back next year… all the best! ;)

  7. also no bud-nipping.

    • Shameful as it is, my buds and nurples welcome any attention they can get.

        • Dear god. I can just imagine it now…

          "Yes honey, I know the brakes failed on the car after I fixed them, and the kids' bunk bed from Ikea collapsed after I set it up, and the barbecue exploded after I modified it, but I promise I was *really* careful with this so just hook it up and let's have some fun…"

          • Even if it didn't turn out to be fun for you and your wife, the paramedics would probably have fun recounting the tale:

            "Hey Bob, remember the time we had to use pliers to remove the clamps from that guy's smoking nurples?"

            of that time they removed the clamps from some guy's smoking buds and nurples.

      • slut

        • That's courtin' talk, where I come from.

  8. Keep your filthy paws off Sean's nurple, you perv.

  9. You people should all get naked and just hug it out.

  10. Scott Feschuk is a delight!

  11. I'm late in the game for this so perhaps the following could be an early entry for next year's contest?

    Harper Hŏ'lĭday (-dā, -dĭ) n., & v.i. 1. n. month or multiple months of recreation when work remains outstanding, when no work is done; period of this, paid vacation, esp. annual paid vacation, eg. Although the renovation was not halfway done and already behind schedule, the carpenters took a Harper Holiday anyway and still expected to be paid. 2. v.i. to avoid responsibility or accountability, eg. John had not studied enough so he Harper Holidayed his mid-term examinations. 3. n. act of avoiding or undermining fundamental democratic institutions, eg. the Prime Minister saw his popularity declining and risked losing a confidence vote so he declared a Harper Holiday to avoid further investigations and accountability. [OE haarpr haligdae]