election08: caption challenge #2


We probably won’t be doing one of these every day, and we certainly will be straying from the genre of Stephen Harper vs. Defenceless Child, but this photograph seems to have some potential:

Submit your captions below. The winner, as selected by special guest judge Kady O’Malley, will receive the unforgettable prize of Something From My House. Previous winners have received in the mail such precious keepsakes as a salt shaker, a used DVD and a box of dryer sheets. What treasures!

But today? Today brings the rare spectacle of an actual prize actually worth having: a six-inch Obama action figure purchased by me in Boston, and still sealed in its original packaging. The Democratic nominee even has his index finger extended so you can point it toward… the future!

Perhaps for ensuing challenges of this nature, the fine people at Maclean’s global HQ will be generous enough to offer up some appropriate swag, such as a Maclean’s hat or a Maclean’s mug or a Paul Wells.


election08: caption challenge #2

  1. What’s that? You want to hear the Elephant again? Well then, just pull my finger! Come’on, pull that finger!

  2. sleeeeeeep, mancub, sleeeeep…

  3. Touch my new sweater again kid, and I’ll show you what dysfunctional means.

    – JV

  4. Don’t touch the sweatervest. I only have one, and I promised Andrew Coyne he could wear it next.

  5. “I’ve got an idea for a sitcom: You, me and Maxime Bernier living together in a house. We’ll call it Two and a Half Men!”

  6. NO! You leggo MY Eggo!

  7. …When you can take the pebble from my hand, it will be time for you to leave…

  8. Harper: “Is your mummy going to serve us three-eyed fish? Nummy nummy.”

  9. Hey kid, you seem smart. Want a cabinet post?

  10. Hey kid! Didn’t you get the memo that banned all red clothing from photo ops?

  11. Look kid, don’t even think of honkin’ the old shnozolla

  12. He little fella, thanks for explaining “The Green Shift” to me…now I get it!!!

  13. The emotional toll of campaigning struck home as Harper longed to be with his own children, shaking their hands.

  14. “See, kid, the one thing about this campaign that you’ve got to remember is that out here the ridings the Liberals hold are dominated by people who are either recent Asian immigrants or recent migrants from eastern Canada: people who live in ghettoes and who are not integrated into western Canadian society. Now who wants a helicopter ride?”

  15. Stephen Harper meets with Premier Danny Williams

  16. Sure I have an agenda! Can you keep a secret?

  17. So young, so tender.

  18. Gee! Did that big guy actually smile?

  19. Watch it kid, or I’ll poop on your shoulder!

  20. Here kid, take this candy and shut up! I’m the one who makes the anouncements around here.

  21. RICHMOND, BC – PM Stephen Harper distracts future voter as Dmitri Soudas spikes sippy cup with Conservative Kool-aid. The mind-control serum reputedly includes concentrated patriotism, leadership extract and just a splash of cran-apple.

  22. Hoping to capitalize on Barack Obama’s popularity, Stephen Harper opts for the “terrorist fist jab” approach to capturing the youth vote.

  23. Harper, on a strict campaign diet in order to fit into his new sweaters, sneaks a Pocky fix from a young supporter.

  24. Pierre Poilievre listens carefully as his boss explains the latest party talking points.

  25. “When I looked into Harper’s eyes all I saw were three letters: K- F- C”

  26. Coochie, coochie, koo….snap that damn camera “fast” – do you think it’s easy being warm and fuzzy?

  27. Sensing an impending majority government, Prime Minister Harper embarks on his party’s campaign to issue National apologies to each and every Canadian who may or may not have been wronged in the past. But especially if they’re a visible minority, because the odds are higher that either they’ve been wronged in the past, or they’re about to in the very near future.

  28. “Hey Mister, something stinks here!”

  29. Stephen Harper: Not a feeder

  30. Now show me “Paint Fence.”

  31. Oh, you’re daddy’s voting Liberal? Well now, just sit still while Uncle Stevie pulls your little nails out from the roots, okay sweety pie? There’s a good girl.

  32. Now, you see, on my planet, this is how kids properly greet their parents. Don’t forget to wash your hand afterward. Humans are germy and stuff. Yuck.

  33. Only Edward Cullen’s love for the human Bella kept him from devouring the baby child and the succulent blood it contained.

  34. Child: “Back off! Get your own soul!”

  35. Unable to legally tax toddlers, Stephen Harper must content himself with stealing their candy.

  36. Pleased to have finally found someone who seems to believe he only expects another minority government, Harper moves in for the “dysfunctional Parliament” manoeuver

  37. A young family settles for the only daycare service they can afford under the Conservative government’s $100 per month childcare plan.

  38. At a recent press conference, when asked why his latest Mini-Me prototype had come in Liberal red, Stephen Harper said he put in the snips and the snails, but asked a fellow Conservative for some puppy-dogs’ tails. No explanation was given for the sudden resignation of Peter MacKay.

  39. So kid – you are latest member of the Young Liberals wing of the LPC … Stevie scratches his head in disbelief and makes a mental note to inform Ryan about this latest development as the possibilties for spin are endless. Tell you what kid when you grow up and develop a few more brain cells … I know I know the lib’s have already offered you a seat but Conservatives require just a tad more gray matter than the Lib’s do so later on come and talk to me, do I have a riding for you!

  40. the result is in, and special guest judge Kady O’Malley has declared that today’s winner is… Sean S.!

    Honourable mentions of an O’Malley nature are extended to: Tom, JV, Ottawa Jeff, Richard and M-A.

    Thanks to all for playing, and sincere thanks to Kady for being The Decider. Sean S. – please email me your address via the link at the top of the post.

  41. Thank you Ms. O’Malley and Mr. Feschuck!

    An Obama doll is very cool, though winning a Paul Wells sounds pretty good – let’s hope that’s in the offing soon. Assuming he’s housebroken, of course…

  42. so being housebroken is a dealbreaker, eh? you might want to sit out the caption challenge where the prize is an aaron wherry.

  43. Finish your pudding and then we’ll go play Bang, Bang with the Assault Rifle.

  44. you can start dating when you’re 14, I promise!

  45. Harper, Opposition see eye to eye.

  46. How would you like to be my new finance minister?

    You are already taller and have less spittle than my dude now.

    WHat do you mean, no? I guess I am going to have to destroy you. Destroy you good.

  47. Mommy says you give us $100 a month for “child care” — I have to give back this cereal and return this shirt after his photo shoot in order to pay for diapers.

  48. Some steroids and practice and you can make the 2016 gymnastics team.

  49. What do you mean we can’t take off because we didn’t pay the carbon tax!

  50. this hard fought stuff is for losers you want to figuratively go in and barnstorm the motherf#@%er and grab him by the back of the head and shake him around a bit and spit him out done.we already know your opponent is a cur this isn’t a game test. “friendly napalm”

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