election08: finish this limerick challenge #1


OK, let’s mix this up a bit. Finish the limerick or do not finish the limerick. There is no try.

There once was a man from Quebec
Who had troubles piled up past his neck
He began his campaign
With a bus but no plane

Meanwhile, negotiations for a stash of swag, or a modest prize budget, from the mighty honchos at Maclean’s HQ have bogged down at the delicate stage of me having asked for swag or a budget and them having completely ignored me. So today’s winner will receive the traditional – and always disappointing – token of Something From My House. Maybe I’ll sacrifice a photograph from my stack of candid pics of Paul Martin in a bathrobe taken during the 2006 campaign. I suppose I could part with one and still commit blackmail.

Tomorrow: haiku!


election08: finish this limerick challenge #1

  1. Now that’s one way to avoid a train wreck.

  2. And promises not to say heck.

  3. And Celine was stuck in the tape deck

  4. And a shoulder displaying a speck

  5. and reduced his party to a speck.

  6. His chances are as real as Star Trek.

  7. ..and Rae breathing right down his neck.

  8. Who’s Who for $500, Trebek.

  9. you tink eeet eeesy to make limerak.

  10. Just a plan to downshift your paycheque

  11. But he’s no loser (unlike Harper and Beck)

  12. Harper’s kids try somehow to use “dreck”.

  13. And a plan to keep carbon in check.

  14. And his leadership with a rope ’round its neck

  15. To which he cried “Put it around Michael Ignatieff’s neck!”

  16. The second line ends same as fifth? Tabernac!

  17. And a speech that was 90% dreck.

  18. and a Puffin with something to check

  19. Contest over: kody wins.

  20. ClarityAir? Last laugh Lévesque.

  21. and chances of winning worse than Levesque

  22. After a day spent on the poop deck

  23. With no hope of getting elec

  24. And an image that speaks “I lack feck.”

  25. Now it’s hearing loss, what the feck?

  26. A grim start to his cross-country trek.

  27. Because of a bounce in his cheque

  28. Post-sponsorship they can’t write a cheque.

    Nice tag, btw – that’s what I’m talking about!!

  29. i’m not a big fan of the phonetic spelling of dion’s accent, but if i’m going to be honest with myself – something i prefer not to do, because it invariably leads me to put my shirt back on – i’m going to have to admit that the entry that made me laugh the hardest was… kody’s.

    kody, email me your address and i’ll send you Something From My House. and let me know what your political leanings are: from my vast reserve, i can send you a photo of liberals looking good or liberals looking like tools.

    to all – there were a lot of very strong entries today. well done.

  30. hey, a limerick writing contest where the winning entry is about writing a limerick?

    That’s like having sex with your own sister and then bragging around that you get laid a lot.

  31. Once there was a poster named Dot,
    Whose sister was really hot,
    Freudian quips made aloud,
    To a fun-blogging crowd,
    Proved that some things should stay “inside thoughts”.

  32. There once was a poster named Sean,
    Who missed what my comment did mean,
    Had he read “Potter Gold”,
    August 16th I am told,
    The inside joke he might glean.

  33. gather round everyone! a limerick-off — THEY’RE HAVING A LIMERICK-OFF!!

    (i sure hope this doesn’t escalate into reverse cinquain…)

  34. There once was a poster named Sean
    (for the record, it rhymes with “lawn”)
    Who does apologize,
    For inside references, unrealized,
    He’ll cross t’s and Dot i’s from now on.

  35. (for the record, it rhymes with “lawn”)

    yeah, I know – it’s called poetic license.

  36. Pedantic smackdowns do not bother me,
    But you’re robbing this contest of glee,
    While making folks understand,
    What a moron I am,
    You’ve got to be more ‘limericky’.

  37. Sean S. is a fine-enough man,
    Making poems as well as he can.
    To write limericky
    Can be rather tricky,
    But come on now, make sure that they scan!

  38. A clever professor called Dion
    Climbed onto a guzzler avion.
    The steward was huffin’
    “you can’t bring that puffin,
    This isn’t a flight he should be on.”

  39. So now he’s got 37 days to convert the bus into the Star Trek

  40. So he’ll just have to stay in Quebec

  41. “There once was a man from Quebec
    Who had troubles piled up past his neck
    He began his campaign
    With a bus but no plane
    So he’ll just have to stay in Quebec”

    Sorry. Forgot the first line.

  42. Who promised to go down with the ship

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